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Original poster

Youngest mum whose parents didn’t know at 11...

204 replies

Breastfeedingworries · 27/06/2021 16:06

I’m so shocked by this article!!

Apologises if this has already been posted about.

Does anyone else know anything else about this? I hope her rapist will face justice. Why is it reported she’s a young mum! She’s 11, when she had sex. It’s disgusting. Horrified by this. :(

www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/11-year-old-girl-becomes-5579935?fbclid=IwAR1f-Abx0qIwCZIJ84bgAxo0mnLcgVnAdCUSCFMV9GdRL9OCZdbDeNQvDqs

OP posts:
Ducksurprise · 27/06/2021 22:40

@spotcheck

I said that things would have gone horribly wrong for this to happen, and that I DIDN'T think it was ok. I seem to remember that some children in Y6 acted much older than their years. I'm wildly generalising, but it was usually children who seemed to have it tough at home.

I'm just saying that the father may be a child too, and if that is the case, then something has gone wrong for him too.

I agree with you (and believe that this is allowed within MN rules)

We can not address issues like this if we are happy to demonise children. Whilst statistics say that it is more likely that it is man who has raped this poor child and if so should be dealt with, if it is another child we can not apportion adult rules to them.
I agree that it is not a relationship but if two children are involved we need to look at the role of those that are meant to be caring for them rather than taking the easy route of blaming a child and thus removing the blame from the society and adults that are meant to be keeping both of them safe.
We fail all our children if we look to the easy option.

ScrollingLeaves · 27/06/2021 22:48

“NutterflyEffect
The way the article describes the other girl, who was 12 and had to give up her baby after saying it was her brother who raped her. As if a 12 year old raising a child would have been totally fine if only she wasnt silly enough to admit it was her brother who raped her angry“

I read that she had gone on to have problems with drugs and alcohol (unsurprisingly) and that is why the baby was taken away.

She is better now, in a secure relationship, and has had another baby. But she said not a day goes by that she doesn’t think of her first.

The brother got 4 years.

She’ll have a life time of regrets and goodness knows about the child conceived this wat.

ScrollingLeaves · 27/06/2021 22:50

“Duck surprise
We fail all our children if we look to the easy option”

I agree that it is up to adults to protect children, including protecting them from harming each other.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/06/2021 22:51

I went to school with a girl who lost her virginity at 11 to a much older boy..

Nope. You went school with a girl who was raped at the age of 11 to a much older boy.

Original poster
Breastfeedingworries · 27/06/2021 23:00

@RozHuntleysLeftHand I haven’t read all the responses yet but can I just say I’m so sad for what you had to go through. I don’t really know what the right thing to say to you is but, please know although this is the Internet and none of us can see each other or know whose who. My real life thoughts are with you. What a brave thing to speak out about. I can’t imagine what you’ve had to go through but I hope you’ve found some peace and happiness throughout your life and have many happy memories left to make.

I hate the wording of this article and I’m going to try and get hold of the paper, they need to be more sensitive. It just isn’t on.

OP posts:
NotTerfNorCis · 27/06/2021 23:04

Haven't read the thread but... I was also really surprised by the way this story has been handled by the press. She got pregnant aged ten, right? So someone has committed a criminal offence. Worst case, it's an adult male. The press are treating it as a human interest story... 'mother and baby are doing well...'

Original poster
Breastfeedingworries · 27/06/2021 23:12

@NotTerfNorCis

Haven't read the thread but... I was also really surprised by the way this story has been handled by the press. She got pregnant aged ten, right? So someone has committed a criminal offence. Worst case, it's an adult male. The press are treating it as a human interest story... 'mother and baby are doing well...'
Exactly this!

For all those saying it could be a boy of the same age, it still could mean he’s been abused or exposed to abuse....it is simply not normal to have sex at age 10. It’s awful that it does happen around the world, but this isn’t a love story or record. It’s wrong on many levels and horrible for the victims.

Also one of the worst things, is the poor child would have gone through labour, or major surgery so would have been terrified, and in horrible pain because of what happened. The report makes light of it all.

OP posts:
overnightangel · 27/06/2021 23:21

@nocoolnamesleft

She didn't have sex. She was too young to consent. She was raped.
This
pallisers · 27/06/2021 23:21

But it is also not on the posters on social media to criminalise children. A 10 year old boy child would also be a victim.

but the 10 year old boy doesn't exist in reality - we have no idea who raped this child. The 10 year old rape victim does exist in reality and is the only victim we know about. So why people are going on about other victims is beyond me.

Clearly the previous poster who so bravely told her story was raped by a boy who had serious issues. But for the immediate response to be ... well he was a victim too? Like seriously? that's what you want to say to someone who reveals she was raped at the age of 7 by an 11 year old and it has affected her for life? could we focus on the female victim who is telling her story for even a minute??

youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/06/2021 23:22

@RozHuntleysLeftHand

I'm so sorry. There are no words, how unspeakably terrible a thing to have to go through. Sending you love Thanks

Sn0tnose · 27/06/2021 23:32

Many years ago I worked as a social worker in a maternity hospital, where an 11 year old gave birth. There were many girls who presented in labour and no-one had noticed the pregnancy. Sadly this is nothing new.

This. Anyone who thinks there’s no way your child could ever be abused or conceal a pregnancy without you knowing straight away, or anyone who believes that the parents of a victim of abuse must either be neglectful, or abusive themselves, you are kidding yourself. I understand why you might want to believe that; because it is horrific to think that someone could be hurting your child and you know nothing about it, but csa happens in lovely homes, up and down the country, every day, and thousands upon thousands of caring, lovely parents don’t have a clue.

@RozHuntleysLeftHand Flowers

caringcarer · 27/06/2021 23:33

It is terrible. When I had my dd there was a young girl of 13 brought in already in labour. Her parents thought she had appendicitis. They took her to A&E and once it was discovered she was in labour she was brought into hospital. In her case it was her boyfriend. She did not look pregnant. No large bump. She had been doing PE at school up until previous week. A couple of her friends knew but school or her parents did not. My sister knew the parents and they went out and bought a pram and cot and baby clothes. Baby was only 4 lb so small. Her school friends came to see her in hospital and she had loads of little teddies given to her about 8 and balloons. Her parents helped her bring up baby. She went back to school but had to look after baby in evening.

Missillusioned · 27/06/2021 23:42

The father won't be a 10 year old boy. Even if a 10 year old boy were to attempt sex, he would be very unlikely to produce viable sperm.

This girl has been raped by an older boy or man.

TheMawisbraw · 28/06/2021 00:11

I was 18 still lived at home and no one noticed I was pregnant including aunts and uncles I saw at Xmas while 8 months pregnant. It would be the last thing I would expect if a 10 year old was putting on weight, the family maybe just assumed it was puppy fat etc their bodies change a lot at that tween age, my daughter looks nothing like how she looked 2/3 years ago. I hope this girl has good support now and professional help

Lockdownbear · 28/06/2021 00:14

@RozHuntleysLeftHandFlowers
I thank you for your insights and hope you are able to get counselling.

My only real comment is I understand that 16yos are likely to give birth to small babies I can only imagine the issue is much worse in 10yos.
I was told that a mother who is still growing or developing her body will prioritise her rather than the baby.

mussinboots · 28/06/2021 00:46

Wtf?! That article should've come with a trigger warning. I can't get over that poor Peruvian child who gave birth at 5.7 years old 😔

ScrollingLeaves · 28/06/2021 00:52

“RozHuntleysLeftHand“ It is horrific you were raped at 7 by the 11 year old boy you were sent upstairs to play with. I am so sorry your life was ruined this way.

Parents IMO don’t realise enough how dangerous children can be to other children. Older brothers of best friends, brothers, cousins.

alexdgr8 · 28/06/2021 00:55

@NeverNotChasingDreams

But those people saying she might not have been raped are talking about the other person being the same age. If neither child can consent are they both guilty or rape / sexual abuse? No one seems to be suggesting she could have consented to someone older

Neither would be guilty of anything, but the strong likelihood would be that one of the parties was sexually abused by an adult beforehand.

report from The Guardian 2009:

In 2004, 12-year-old Kyle Abdo became Britain's youngest-known rapist after he was convicted of attacking a nine-year-old girl. Abdo, who was 11 at the time of the incident, attacked the girl during a game of hide-and-seek at his home.

Rubyupbeat · 28/06/2021 07:07

Its possible it could be a boy around the same age.

sweetkitty · 28/06/2021 17:06

My DS has just turned 11 so I’ve been thinking about this a bit, he’s only just starting to ask questions about puberty and his body (mostly to his Dad cos I’m his Mum and apparently I don’t understand as I don’t have the same bits). He is more interested in shooting water guns and thinks girls are yucky. He’s very much still a child. Even the thought of 13yo DD3 having a baby is horrifying as it should be.

ScrollingLeaves · 28/06/2021 17:13

I just saw that an 11 year old boy fathered a child in Australia with the 36 year old mother of his friend. This was obviously rape by her. She gave him alcohol and set up repeated encounters.

It is possible but it seems very unusual.

Kezzie200 · 28/06/2021 17:26

They are still really Victorian in the reporting.

She's not a terribly young Mum (implying she consented and was a bit of a mare) . She was raped, by someone, circa 8/9 months ago.

ScrollingLeaves · 28/06/2021 17:39

Referring to her as ‘Mum’ is awful, I agree.

BlueLobelia · 28/06/2021 17:47

@pallisers

But it is also not on the posters on social media to criminalise children. A 10 year old boy child would also be a victim.

but the 10 year old boy doesn't exist in reality - we have no idea who raped this child. The 10 year old rape victim does exist in reality and is the only victim we know about. So why people are going on about other victims is beyond me.

Clearly the previous poster who so bravely told her story was raped by a boy who had serious issues. But for the immediate response to be ... well he was a victim too? Like seriously? that's what you want to say to someone who reveals she was raped at the age of 7 by an 11 year old and it has affected her for life? could we focus on the female victim who is telling her story for even a minute??

agree 100%