Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Youngest mum whose parents didn’t know at 11...

204 replies

Breastfeedingworries · 27/06/2021 16:06

I’m so shocked by this article!!

Apologises if this has already been posted about.

Does anyone else know anything else about this? I hope her rapist will face justice. Why is it reported she’s a young mum! She’s 11, when she had sex. It’s disgusting. Horrified by this. :(

www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/11-year-old-girl-becomes-5579935?fbclid=IwAR1f-Abx0qIwCZIJ84bgAxo0mnLcgVnAdCUSCFMV9GdRL9OCZdbDeNQvDqs

OP posts:
TawnyPippit · 27/06/2021 20:29

Actually I send a massive vodka to the today you.

RozHuntleysLeftHand · 27/06/2021 20:32

Sorry this is actually my last post!!

Flowers for everyone who's being lovely

I might come back later if I'm strong enough but that was fucking tough to share.

Deathsquito · 27/06/2021 20:35

Oh that poor baby girl Sad

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2021 20:35

[quote Fuckingcrustybread]@Ducksurprise
I can't imagine what you have been through and I am so sorry to hear this, even though you won't believe me with what I'm about to write.
However a cared for eleven year old does not do this, a child that does this has been failed by their parents and society and is likely a victim of CSA
@ducksurprise. You've highlighted a post by a victim of Child Sexual Abuse. Then you go on to excuse her abuser. You are a fucking disgrace to the human race.[/quote]
That poster is amazing, sharing what she has been through and putting into words the problem with this thread .
I am cautious to quote her because I don't understand and would not want to add to her suffering, and I am (regardless of what you may think) doing my best not to. She says , which I completely agree with
But I just want you all to remember that when you say "But what if its just kids exploring" it almost certainly is one, or both kids being fucked up for life

TurquoiseLemur · 27/06/2021 20:39

@Soubriquet

I saw this too and was horrified

I don’t think she even consented (if that’s what the parents are saying). I think she was just raped

That poor child

A child aged 10/11 CANNOT consent. This is definitely rape.

I hate media articles like this that present victims like this as "young mums" as if everything is above board.

thecatfromjapan · 27/06/2021 20:39

Of course it was, Roz.

It was helpful for others but it will have cost you.

I'm glad you're in this world. We need you. Take care of yourself.

And all my love to 7 year old you and present-day you. Thank you. xx

Graphista · 27/06/2021 20:39

I have no doubt that the family knew and tried to conceal everything including the abuse. At that age, whatever her size, changes would have been apparent.

When dd was at school a 13 year old in her class became pregnant and had a child. This girl had bullied dd in the past so dd was not exactly sympathetic at first, then I pointed out at that age it was rape, whoever the father was and in all likelihood it was an adult male to blame. It was later revealed it was indeed the poor girls step father to blame and the abuse had been occurring for some years. He was arrested and she was taken into care as it also emerged her mother had known and done sod all!

It's hardly ever another kid and even if it is - still rape, still abuse!

I call bullshit that her immediate family had no idea. And even IF that unlikely possibility is true at the very least they're too stupid for her to remain in their care.

@Mischance I can believe many CLAIMED they never knew (the families not the victims) but I'm not buying the majority genuinely didn't know

@RozHuntleysLeftHand and others who've been similarly victimised even if you feel unable to say so Thanks I was never raped which I am thankful for, but I was abused which has definitely left its mark.

To those grasping at straws and querying IF this was rape in ANY WAY shame on you! You are a disgrace as people!

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2021 20:46

To those grasping at straws and querying IF this was rape in ANY WAY shame on you! You are a disgrace as people

A 9 or 10 year old boy is also a victim. I agree that the balance of probability means that it was more likely an older person and it is rape but if they are both children then they both have been failed.

sqirrelfriends · 27/06/2021 20:48

@RozHuntleysLeftHand I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

When I saw the story this afternoon, I was a bit shocked how it seemed to read like "normal news". Instead of a horrific, life altering event occurring due to the rape of a child. The only hint that anything was amiss was a line that social services were investigating.

PurpleRainDancer · 27/06/2021 20:55

@nocoolnamesleft

She didn't have sex. She was too young to consent. She was raped.
This Poor little girl
JustGiveMeGin · 27/06/2021 20:55

I am a mother to an 11 year old girl, she is still my baby and the thought of her going through what this little girl has sickens me.
She has been let down from start to finish and to hear 'mother and baby are doing well ' makes my blood boil, she shouldn't be a mother and this will ruin her life one way or another.

Frenchfancy · 27/06/2021 20:56

@RozHuntleysLeftHand I'm so sorry for what you went through.

I was abused at 8 by a friend of the family. Very few people know. It changed my life. And I didn't end up pregnant. This poor girl. She is going to need some serious help.

AbstractHeart · 27/06/2021 20:59

@Tehmina23

I went to school with a girl who lost her virginity at 11 to a much older boy.. this would've been 30 years ago so I think. I was shocked when I found out as an older teen but sadly it was not a surprise as my bf lived opposite her family... her parents & their friends had very open attitudes to porn, sex & nudity apparently.

At the age I was when I found out it didn't occur to me to think about abuse but now it horrifies me. And looking back I think there were possibly at least 3 or 4 other girls in that situation.
We didn't have 'safeguarding' in those days sadly.

I feel very sorry for the 10 / 11 year old in this story, and for the baby obviously.

I have a friend who lost his virginity at 12... to his (male) school bus driver! He doesn't view it as abuse and said he consented and was up for it... but it must surely have affected him?
Gingerkittykat · 27/06/2021 21:05

@Mischance

Many years ago I worked as a social worker in a maternity hospital, where an 11 year old gave birth. There were many girls who presented in labour and no-one had noticed the pregnancy. Sadly this is nothing new.

I do not think any of it should be in the pages of a newspaper.

Absolutely, the child has been further betrayed by whoever leaked the story to the media, writing about her and speculating over what happened is a further abuse. She needs calm and privacy, not her life story splashed over the press and the whole country talking about what has happened to her.
PrettyLittleFlies · 27/06/2021 21:10

The part I found most offensive is the wording around the case of 12yo Tressa Middleton "confessing" to being raped. Appalling victim blaming. Criminals confess, victims confide. Just all round awful misogyny.

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2021 21:36

@RozHuntleysLeftHand

Sorry, last post.

But please please please don't think, even if they were both 10, that this was just experimentation gone wrong, I guess sometimes it might be, but just please don't assume it was, because even if the boy was abused himself, it does ABSOLUTELY NOT CHANGE the impact it will have mentally and physically on the girl in this scenario.

And this has made me feel wobbly so I'm going for a massive vodka.

I do completely agree that nothing can change the impact on the girl.

I am honestly so very sorry for what you have been through.

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2021 21:41

@NeverNotChasingDreams

Ducksurprise please ask for your post to be removed. It's not on the survivor of abuse to find excuses for their abuser.
I do not expect any survivor of abuse to find an excuse.

But it is also not on the posters on social media to criminalise children. A 10 year old boy child would also be a victim.

AliceLivesHere · 27/06/2021 21:44

At 10 a girl cannot consent so who raped this child. Prison for the rapist. The headline almost glorifies it.

AliceLivesHere · 27/06/2021 21:50

@CharlotteRose90

It’s not come out who the father is and yet everyone automatically jumps to a family member or teenager assaulting her. It’s disgusting. We have no idea who the father is. He could be a child himself. Kids are experimenting more and more. If it is a boy her age then surely it’s rape on both sides. Hopefully she gets the help she needs and the baby goes to family or social services. She deserves a proper childhood not to bring up a baby.
Are you for real!
byvirtue · 27/06/2021 21:52

I can’t imagine what that poor girl has been through this last 30 or so weeks.

Made even worse thanks to the pandemic. Continued lockdown(s)/tiers meant to stop social contact and keep people “safe” at home. What if your home wasn’t safe, what if your contact with close extended family/friends was cut off. Lets not forget the January to March lockdown this year where kids weren’t allowed to go to school. Not to mention no chance of seeing a GP, not being able to speak to a teacher or trusted adult because…no school and social distancing and not being allowed to see people in person. It would be so easy for vulnerable abused children to slip through the net thanks to Covid.

Poor girl. My heart breaks for her, no child should have to go through that.

spotcheck · 27/06/2021 21:52

@Faffandahalf

Give over spotcheck 10 year olds do not have ‘relationships’. They have crushes and primary school ‘boyfriends’ which usually means holding hands and a peck on the lips maybe. Not sex and a pregnancy. If the father is also 10 there are huge safeguarding issues at play.
I mean- Maybe THEY thought it was a ' relationship'.

Of course if the father was also a child, then something has gone horribly horribly wrong for both of them.

How do they know about sex? I knew at that age- I looked it up in a book. It was pretty easy. That was decades before the internet, so I'm assuming it's much much easier to find out these days.

I'm not remotely suggesting that if they were both children then it's 'ok' -

AliceLivesHere · 27/06/2021 21:54

@spotcheck

You said : "We can't jump to the conclusion that a much older person raped her. What if she was in a relationship?"

Go give your head a bloody big wobble a 'relationship' between 2 10 year olds that involves sex! You are attempting to normalise this as if nothing. Your thinking skills and understanding are seriously fucked up. It's not normal at all. It's rape/abuse

AliceLivesHere · 27/06/2021 21:55

I meant a 10 year old girl cannot be in a relationship that involves sex without it being rape since she cannot consent .

spotcheck · 27/06/2021 22:08

I said that things would have gone horribly wrong for this to happen, and that I DIDN'T think it was ok.
I seem to remember that some children in Y6 acted much older than their years. I'm wildly generalising, but it was usually children who seemed to have it tough at home.

I'm just saying that the father may be a child too, and if that is the case, then something has gone wrong for him too.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/06/2021 22:14

The headline almost glorifies it.
I agree with Alice; the two reports I have read do seem to glorify it somewhat. It’s like ah well, we didn’t get into the Guinness book of records this time. But it’s a first for the country since records recording parental age began.

Poor girl. I also think it’s likely to be a family member with lockdown. Conception probably in November and we were locked down from Nov 5th.

@RozHuntleysLeftHand
Thank you for sharing the abuse you suffered. You sound strong. You are a survivor. Flowers