I think my Husband is dying

[DollyParsnip]

Hi

DH had a planned surgery on Thursday which went wrong; he had a catastrophic bleed which lead to his chest being opened and a long time to stabilise. He's on full life support but they are very, very concerned that he has few signs of brain activity.

He's in a good hospital with an amazing team around him, we didn't expect him to last over Thursday night and they've kept him going but I am slowly realising that I think he's gone.

Fuck. What do I do without him? We have an 11 yo DD who is awesome and friends but I feel so alone. So much panic.

Sorry for unloading, just feels incredibly surreal.

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God OP I hope things get batter. Your DD sounds like a proper little trooper, what a girl to be proud of.

Thinking of you all x

Im thinking of you and sending strength and best wishes. Inadequate I know, but I’m not good with words.

I'm so sorry OP. I know that in ICU they paint the bleakest picture to make sure that relatives are prepared for the worst outcome. It is a very surreal place to be. Take it hour by hour, day by day

Stay strong, sometimes miracles do happen and I hope your story will be one of those miracles ❤️

how shocking and scary for you all, very sorry you are in this situation.
sending you much love, strength and hope that there's still a chance of recovery.

I was in your shoes a few years ago. It is agony. Squeezing your hand in sympathy.

oh god, how awful @DollyParsnip. I'm so sorry you are all going through this. Horribly scary. I'm sending healing thoughts to your DH - he sounds like a fighter, that's a good thing! - and hugs and to you. I'm glad you have support with you. Lean on them, take them up on offers of drinks, food, walks, whatever you can manage. Also, you must try to sleep, if you can. You need to keep your strength up when you are so emotionally distraught.

We'll be here, when you need us.

Thinking of you. It is a horrible time for you and your dd.

So, so sorry . My husband died unexpectedly, so I have some idea of what your experiencing. Doesn’t seem real does it ? A living nightmare. My only advice is to take every piece of help family and friends offer. Lean on them, if it’s bringing food or hugs, take it all. Wishing you strength and love. X

Sending you best wishes op

Crikey, how hard for you.

Life is odd and there are no guarantess but I really hope you get a miracle.

Sending you love. x

So sorry to hear this. Praying for a miracle for all of you.

Sending lots and lots of love xx

I'm so sorry

Praying for you all xxxx

Sending love and positive vibes 💐

I'm so sorry for you and your family, OP. Heartbreaking.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Sending you and your wonderful DD lots and lots of love.xxx

Sending love and strength xxx

ICU can be an incredibly frightening place at times.

Having sat at someone’s bedside for over 3 weeks my only advice is take it Day by day, hour by hour if need be. Reach out for support, friends or family.

Our bodies are amazing and the nhs are fantastic too.

Hope you see some improvement soon.

I'm so sorry.

We're all here, whatever support you need.

Sending lots of love OP x

Christ OP so sorry about what you’re going through. Take each minute, hour, day as it comes and get as much emotional support as you can

Thinking of you 🤞 💐

DollyParsnip, I so feel for you! My DP died when the three kids were under 10 ... Grim times. Practical: check life insurances, including the add ons (that get overlooked) on things like mortgages; check pension provisions of DP; check death in service benefits at DP's work (sorry to be so grimly practical); check DWP website for any help there. Death certificates (sorry): get plenty. Organisations often fail to return them, even if you ask them to. Check all the basics like utility bills and bank accounts and work out change requirements (if in DP's name, no requirement to change bills if you keep paying, but sensible in time to do so).

Emotional: you will soon discover who is attuned to you, and who isn't. Old friends can become a bit me me me and effing useless; others may quietly and effectively sidle in and lift the burden. You won't know who they are until it happens. Find the comedy: it's a life saver - there is comedy in tragedy, even silly stuff. Don't be ashamed to laugh or cry.