I think my Husband is dying

[DollyParsnip]

Hi

DH had a planned surgery on Thursday which went wrong; he had a catastrophic bleed which lead to his chest being opened and a long time to stabilise. He's on full life support but they are very, very concerned that he has few signs of brain activity.

He's in a good hospital with an amazing team around him, we didn't expect him to last over Thursday night and they've kept him going but I am slowly realising that I think he's gone.

Fuck. What do I do without him? We have an 11 yo DD who is awesome and friends but I feel so alone. So much panic.

Sorry for unloading, just feels incredibly surreal.

Message from MNHQ - Please read the OP's updates before posting on the thread. Thank you.

I am so sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you and your family

Sending you a big hug.

I'm thinking of you and your DD

Keeping you all in my prayers

I lost a parent to surgical complications at a similar age to your child. They were in a semi vegetative state for two months after the surgery before it was decided to turn life support off.

I don’t have any advice but you have my solidarity. Looking back, I wish I didn’t have the memories of seeing my parent in that way but on the other hand I also regret stopping my visits (I couldn’t handle it.)

Are you allowed to visit? I would spend as much time there as you can, holding their hand. We are still not sure how “aware” my parent was and that in itself is upsetting.

Oh gosh, how awful for you.

A very similar thing happened to DHs auntie at the end of last year. She went in for a routine surgery, things went wrong and it all went from there. It was incredibly shocking and the family still haven't accepted it, it was just so unexpected. So I can understand a little of the shock you must be feeling.

It sounds like there has been a one positive change today though and I'm hoping and praying for your DH that he can pull through. Thinking of you OP.

Sending you a hand hold OP.

I’m so sorry to read this what a horrible shock. Thinking of you and your family

So very sorry to hear about your husband, thinking of you and sending strength to get through the days ahead whatever they may bring

Sending you positive thoughts and prayers 🙏🙏🙏
My daughter in law was in ICU 5 years ago. It was a terrifying time and her mum and husband were told to prepare for the worst. She did turn a corner quite suddenly and suddenly was bought out the coma. She needed a lot of rehab but is back to normal 5years later. I really hope things go in a similar way. Use your support network and keep talking. Much love ❤

Bodies are truly marvellous so please do not give up hope.

Sending you much love x

Sending you a handhold | comforting hand on your shoulder as you prefer. 💐

Oh, that is so sad. I will be keeping everything crossed that he continues to show signs of improvement, however small it is something and i sincerely hope it will continue. You will be in my thoughts.

What a terrible shock for you all💐

you poor things - much love to all your family

you and your family are in my prayers. Keep off loading here if it helps but don't feel any pressure to post, just know that people are here for you and sending you love, prayers and hope.

I am so so sorry Op. This is dreadful. Do you have people you can ring to talk?

Hand hold hugs 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Thinking of you OP, I became a widow at 39 and had all your worries. You can, and will, cope. But don’t write him off just yet, it sounds like he’s a fighter

Nightmare. So sorry you’re going through this. My thoughts are with you. 💐

Well done to you for being able to do and say the right things to support your daughter, as you so clearly are - that takes real courage.

Thinking of you

So sorry to hear this OP, sending strength, love and energy to you, your family and DH.

OP, I'm so very sorry to hear this. Sending love and strength to you all.

Feeling for you, what a horrific time. The human body and mind are amazing. I've seen a complete turn around in the condition of two close family members who I really thought (and was warned) would probably not make it. But they did (one is my Mum and she and I wandered around a garden centre today) and I decided never again to lose hope. I'm truly in awe of the medical profession and the human body. All the best.

Sending you so many caring and healing vibes. Don’t know if you are religious but I will pray for you, your DH and your DD.

Take it day by day. My DH almost lost his life a decade ago and it’s changed me forever. Take all the support that’s offered to you - ie if someone offers to drop off a cooked meal or a bit of company one evening after you’re back from the hospital. The temptation can be to isolate yourself but I learned that just makes a hard situation even harder.

You will find support or someone to talk to here at any time of the day, or night, so you need never feel alone.