Page 9 | I knew my relationship was over when.........

Itwasoverwhen · 2021-05-22T13:25:46+00:00

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own. Your turn...

pipsqueakbollock · 22/05/2021 22:24

Bought house together and made plans for extension etc

I work term time and first summer took doors off to paint them.

He came home from work and I called out give me a hand to hang the door back on to which he replied FFS bitch I've been at work all day.

Took me another 8 months to get him out.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/05/2021 22:28

@PurpleFlower1983

When he tried to stab my but accidentally slashed a nerve in his thumb instead. Instant karma.

This reminds me of a neighbour of mine who came to our house in the early hours of the morning with her tiny infant, screaming that she needed an ambulance and could I help.

Her arsehole husband had just come in (been clubbing) and because she was in bed and there was nothing for him to eat, punched her (with a 6 week baby in her arms) and she (selfish cow) had ducked - he'd put his fist through the glass in the door and slashed the length of his forearm open.

I did suggest letting the bugger bleed to death, but no - she insisted on an ambulance. They moved a year or so after that, but `I'll bet she's wished she took my advice many a time.

silentlight · 22/05/2021 22:37

My feelings for him died when I saw a message he sent to his workmate saying he was a bit in love with the girl who tattooed his arm. He said she sang while she tattooed him and sent his friend the love heart eyes emoji. He’s not the easiest of husbands and what I had left in me flowed out at that point. I’m still here, but I’m dead inside.

gelatodipistacchio · 22/05/2021 22:44

Oh, there were so many terrible things leading up to my leaving.

I think the last straw was when he insisted on doing a large-scale home renovation over my objections. At the last minute when work was due to begin, but before he made the first payment, he asked me to tell him if I really wasn't happy to go forward with it. I said no and he officiously explained why actually it had to happen now.

The gaslighting was horrible - this was a great illustration of the sick mind games he played. He would pretend that my opinions mattered, but he bullied and boxed me into situations that I hated, and that I told him I hated, while putting me down and making it clear that my feelings and preferences were just selfish and irrational. It was a nightmare.

numberoneson · 22/05/2021 22:45

@silentlight

My feelings for him died when I saw a message he sent to his workmate saying he was a bit in love with the girl who tattooed his arm. He said she sang while she tattooed him and sent his friend the love heart eyes emoji. He’s not the easiest of husbands and what I had left in me flowed out at that point. I’m still here, but I’m dead inside.

One word: Leave.

smudgemylife · 22/05/2021 22:46

@PurpleFlower1983

When he tried to stab my but accidentally slashed a nerve in his thumb instead. Instant karma.

Same! Except his finger. He was a talented saxophone player and was never the same after surgery. Serves him right!

PurpleSproutingSomething · 22/05/2021 22:46

After a yer of dating, the first year was full of love bombing and broken promises, I ate something and went into anaphylaxis shock, I called the ambulance who came out and administered more adrenaline after I had used my pen.
I called my now ex and told him what had happened. He came over after he'd finished his meal and the doctor at the hospital said I'd need an adult with me overnight who could stay awake for the next 4 hours, bf said 1am was far too late for him to stay up as he had work the next morning. So went home.
I spent the next 6 hours stuck in resus and then corridors on my own while they kept an eye on me and discharged me.

Ireallymustgotobed · 22/05/2021 22:46

Emotionally abusive ex who frequently punched holes in doors and walls, broke my stuff, etc. Finally over when he asked for a chat the night before I started a second job (which he had already spent all my income from in his head). We sat down and he listed all my supposed faults that made him behave so badly.

I ended up crying in the bathroom. He stormed out and then came back in the middle of the night. I barely slept all night having taken the dog to bed with me and the toddler as I was so upset/frightened.

He was still in a foul mood when I woke up and was getting ready for my new job (nannying, toddler coming too). I avoided him till he tried to pick a fight and then I just got furious at him for not being able to at least be nice for a few hours. Told him I was staying in the house with the toddler and pets and to be gone by the time I got home and drove off (shaking) leaving him standing on the drive. Arrived at work on time and pulled myself together enough to do a great days work (despite his frequent calls). Huge relief to go home without him there and although it was hard dealing with him and sorting out contact arrangements for a year or so four years later I haven’t regretted it at all.

Pumpkyumpkyumpkin · 22/05/2021 22:46

....when I stopped going home unless it was absolutely unavoidable (or he was away working)

Sugarcube84 · 22/05/2021 22:49

When he booked a holiday for my birthday made it out to be a surprise but only because he knew it was somewhere I had absolutely no interest in going and it was completely for him, think beach v city break in a random European county. I came home and realised it wasn’t the house move stress or the previous affair (his) that was making me unhappy it was just him and I was done , just completely done.

Jenn1724 · 22/05/2021 22:51

Dropped me off at the front of the IVF clinic (first appointment) to go and find a parking spot. Apparently he couldn’t find one, so he drove home and left me there.

numberoneson · 22/05/2021 22:53

I wasted 7 years of my life on a pompous asshat. Last straw was, we were at a party and he was absorbed in chatting with a group of his friends, all of them having had a lot to drink. Another of them asked me to dance; propositioned me and when I declined, tried drunkenly to strangle me with my own scarf. The rest were all so out of it they didn't even notice ... when I, very upset and in tears, told him what had happened, he said he'd have to speak to the strangler guy "to get his side of the story". Disloyal bas*ard! I - still crying - got a taxi to a friend's house, and even the driver was outraged for me when he asked what was up & I explained.

villanova · 22/05/2021 22:55

He & his dad had bought 'us' a new car while I was out of the country on business. The car didn't suit me at all - too big, too gas-hungry, but that didn't matter, as it was what he wanted (even though I did half the driving).
However, I was driving home from work one day when another car crashed into me, and there was a multi-car pile up. All people OK, but my car & several others were write-offs. I, and the car, arrived home on the AA truck several hours later.
First thing he said to me was 'what have you done to my car??' - something died right then - he didn't ask about how I was for about 10mins, it was far too late by then.

thenewduchessofhastings · 22/05/2021 22:57

PurpleFlower1983
When he tried to stab my but accidentally slashed a nerve in his thumb instead. Instant karma.
This reminds me of a neighbour of mine who came to our house in the early hours of the morning with her tiny infant, screaming that she needed an ambulance and could I help.

Her arsehole husband had just come in (been clubbing) and because she was in bed and there was nothing for him to eat, punched her (with a 6 week baby in her arms) and she (selfish cow) had ducked - he'd put his fist through the glass in the door and slashed the length of his forearm open.

I did suggest letting the bugger bleed to death, but no - she insisted on an ambulance. They moved a year or so after that, but `I'll bet she's wished she took my advice many a time.

@SchadenfreudePersonified

It's a shame he didn't manage to slice the crook of his elbow open;the radial and ulnar arteries are there.........

Jalapinot · 22/05/2021 23:04

@Staffy1 had to borrow a phone and ask my bestie's husband to pick me up. So humiliated. Got home before dawn and packed all my stuff and moved out while he slept. I may have poured some double cream down the back of the radiator and cranked the heating up as I left. My handbag was in the hallway and he's taken £30 out of my purse too.

grapewine · 22/05/2021 23:07

@statetrooperstacey

When he emptied a full potty over my head then set our 11 stone dog on me.

Horrendous.

Moutainwoman · 22/05/2021 23:22

When we went out for the first time in two years to a party and someone twenty years younger 'looked at me'. He accused me of cheating, that he SAW me leave the party with him(this was added to the story a year later), so to punish me he reported me to the police seven times, and then reported me to social services ( I was local authority carer at the time), so much more but this was what broke the camels back, so much paranoia. Together 22 years, still so raw

Moutainwoman · 22/05/2021 23:25

Really heartwarming to hear the stories where people mention how much happier they are now and have gone on to meet wonderful DH. I fear Im destined for solitude or unhappy pairings

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/05/2021 23:33

It's a shame he didn't manage to slice the crook of his elbow open;the radial and ulnar arteries are there.........

If only, Hastings

gelatodipistacchio · 22/05/2021 23:35

How many of you had children with these awful DHs? When you left did he pursue contact with them? What is he like with your children when he has them alone?

I had one child with him. His treatment of me during my pregnancy and once DD was here contributed a lot to the end of the relationship. He also wasn't especially nice to DD - very dismissive and shouty.

He insists on seeing her at least once a week and complains constantly that I took her away from him when I left. However, he will often forgo his visits with her if he doesn't feel like seeing her. I sort of expect his visits with her to drop off after our divorce is finalised.

It's hard to know what he's like with her when I'm not there, but she never likes going to his and she tells me that he shouts at her a lot. Makes sense, as he always shouted at me a lot. Nothing is good enough for him. I feel sorry for DD

Iamthewombat · 22/05/2021 23:39

One always smelt of Sunday dinner.

In a thread full of sad stories, this gave me a good laugh!

Here’s mine: when a boyfriend disappeared WITH MY CAR, which he was supposed to be MOT-ing! Ignored all calls, texts and emails. Was on the brink of calling the police on day 4 when he texted me to say that he’d meet me in Manchester Piccadilly station (???!!) to hand over the car keys “on neutral ground”.

Turned out that he had gone off me and was too scared to tell me, plus he didn’t know how to tell me that he had a ten year old daughter he hadn’t previously admitted to. I’d been going out with him for 18 months!

I still laugh about it now.

colouringindoors · 22/05/2021 23:41

.... he said if I didn't hold his hand the universe would explode.

Yup.

Iamthewombat · 22/05/2021 23:44

he said if I didn't hold his hand the universe would explode.

Were you going out with Bez?

PrincessTuna · 22/05/2021 23:48

With my ex it was like a switch went off when I became pregnant. After 10 years together suddenly everything I said was stupid. He didnt want to sit on same sofa as me. We went on holiday and he stayed in the room alone all week. At home he talked about how attractive other women were.

I remember this awful trapped feeling of expecting a baby and having to live with a man who didnt love me. He didnt have the guts to tell me he didn't want a family, just treated me like shit, then cheated until I had no choice but to leave him.

I hate him for making the happiest time of my life also incredibly hard and lonely.

leeds2glasgow · 22/05/2021 23:55

Everything was roses until we got engaged after 6 years. He was t pressured in anyway but a few years later he had turned into a monster but I was too embarrassed to leave. Considering the stuff most of you have said this is the most trivial thing ever but it really was the last straw. He wouldn't turn off bloody spurs or put it on pause so we could watch the Christmas lights getting switched on, literally outside our house. My feelings just switched off that night. And I know how stupid that sounds. You don't need to hear everything shit he did up to that, but fir some reason, that was just it for me 🤷‍♀️