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Original poster

I knew my relationship was over when.........

866 replies

Itwasoverwhen · 22/05/2021 14:25

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

OP posts:
JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 22/05/2021 21:05

When he called me a freak for having epilepsy.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 22/05/2021 21:07

Mine are a bit all over the place:

One boyfriend slept with my brother’s girlfriend
One said the word “belch” as in “excuse me, I just belched”
One didn’t get me anything for my birthday. Nothing. I’d have been happy with a £5 bunch of flowers or a cheap box of chocolates because we’d only been seeing each other a couple of months.
One always smelt of Sunday dinner.

When I get a hard off, there’s no coming back from that.

Alcemeg · 22/05/2021 21:07

@osbertthesyrianhamster

So glad for you, Baby. I have 3 children. We were married, we had a good marriage, we loved each other, had a house, great, stable jobs - careers. He was 34 and I was 30. We'd gone back and forth for 2 years, counselling, the works. It's why I'm so vehement on here, if he says no kids, believe him! You need to move on. It was extremely painful, we had to divorce, sell the house, etc.

He never did have children, he meant it. He had a vasectomy. We're still friends, 21 years later (yes, my DH knows, has even met him).

Ah that's sad but lovely, @osbertthesyrianhamster. Well done. 💗
CPParenttoDD1234 · 22/05/2021 21:10

When he threw every item of my clothes out the window and refused to help me bring them in. I was pregnant. I stayed he went on to attack me.

Dacquoise · 22/05/2021 21:10

He went on a six week tour for his hobby to Australia, came home and I got pregnant. From that point onwards he completely withdrew from me. We were not allowed to discuss the event, make any plans, show any interest or excitement because he 'didn't know how he felt until it happened '. He then went on to play a whole season of sport, no holiday was offered to me, then decided to book surgery for a long standing sports injury when I was eight months pregnant which required me to ferry him around. Also drive him long distance to and from court for yet another driving offence which could mean a ban and loss of his job.

Unfortunately I was stuck for quite a few years because of the baby. My family thought he was wonderful.

mumbadger · 22/05/2021 21:15

First lockdown he was unwell (not covid) and as often happens he Took to his bed. I'd been desperately trying to cope with two young children and working from home with no help at all. I came upstairs to get spare clothes for youngest who had an accident in the middle of a work call. He sat up in bed and asked why i hadnt given him a hug as he needed one. i couldn't drop everything there and then and he was pissed off with me, oblivious to what i was dealing with for several days straight with him just in bed. Something just clicked and i realised I'd be spending the rest of my life looking after him while trying to raise the kids with no real support. No way he would step up, whether well or not. He couldn't see how stressed I was - hadn't even occured to him. Spent rest of lockdown before he moved out refusing to do things to help to make a point about how he did contribute.... Including having a deadline each evening after which he refused to help with the kids as he was 'too tired and needed to prioritize sleep'. Meanwhile i got kids to bed and stayed up til the early hours to finish work....

So yeah. That did it.

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/05/2021 21:19

When he tried to stab my but accidentally slashed a nerve in his thumb instead. Instant karma.

bubblebath62636 · 22/05/2021 21:22

When his mother came crying to me, he had got a teenager pregnant and ran off with her (he was 30s).

It should of been when he intentionally gave me genital herpes when I was just 17.

equuscaballus · 22/05/2021 21:23

When he told me that "All women who wore a burka should be beaten black and blue"

Akrotiri1 · 22/05/2021 21:24

when I broke my foot and needed a lift to hospital for an x-ray - I asked him if he could take the morning off work and his response was 'get a taxi'.........

Mydarlingmyhamburger · 22/05/2021 21:25

When I was sat in hospital getting my 8 month old dd std tested for the disease he gave me which he caught by cheating on me.

stormsurfer · 22/05/2021 21:25

When he told me the problem with me was that I would never just simply accept inequality between us. Too right...!!

JustJustWhy · 22/05/2021 21:28

Not a bad man but it just wasn't working any more. It was sad and he was waiting for me to break so he wouldn't have to be the one to end it I realised my relationship was over when I started crying at a Take That concert that I'd been really enjoying up until then. The song was Rule the World.

CandyLeBonBon · 22/05/2021 21:29

I found out he'd been stealing my son's adhd medication

Scrumptiousbears · 22/05/2021 21:35

I saw he'd ordered flowers but I never received them.

Crossfitwidow · 22/05/2021 21:42

Well there was a slight build up to it but it went like this...In my last month of pregnancy: My grandfather unexpectedly died, I was in a car crash, I shattered my ankle a week later in a freak accident and needed surgery to put it back together while awake (too dangerous for a general) a week later I went into labour and ended up needing a Cat 1 C-section as son was in distress. So I was in hospital bed bound in a full leg cast and I’d just had an emergency c section. Few hours later I really just wanted a wash, I phoned his father...oh he was in the pub wetting babies head. Few days later we get home and I have a phone call to say my best friend had been found dead from an accidental overdose. This was the worst fucking time of my life. So picture this, I’m bed bound at home, recovering from 2 surgeries, with a new born, anaemic from blood loss in surgery and now my best mate is dead. Baby had colic and wouldn’t settle so I was in the spare room...I’ll always remember that night my ex burst into the room to ask why baby was crying, that he had work in the morning and how having a baby was a mistake. From that moment I hated him and couldn’t wait to leave.

Backtoblack1 · 22/05/2021 21:47

When he told me that his ‘ex’ was pregnant but that it wasn’t his. It was.

cadburyegg · 22/05/2021 21:49

DS1 was 2 weeks old and I was struggling with the normal first time mum stuff - breastfeeding, sleep and recovering from birth. He told me to “stop dripping milk everywhere” or something along those lines

TheWitchCirce · 22/05/2021 21:56

He was a good man and a good dad but one day when he was late home from work I found myself contemplating that he'd been knocked off his bike and killed. I found myself immersed in a wonderful day dream of living without him. I knew at that point that I needed to leave - we both deserved better.

MajorNeville · 22/05/2021 21:59

Mine seems so inconsequential. I was tidying up and asked if I could throw a magazine out and he told me that I was stupid to ask that as he obviously wanted it in the middle of the floor, a light simply just went out and I knew it was over. It was such a relief to suddenly feel this way. I knew instantly that I'd never be in this position again and I felt no sadness, I just felt light.

This was after years of differing levels of abuse, strangling me till I blacked out, giving me black eyes, pulling clumps of my hair out etc etc etc. None of that turned that light out, but that magazine did it. It had Cypress Hill on the front cover, every time I hear "insane in the membrane, insane in the brain" I smile, lol

Staffy1 · 22/05/2021 22:02

@Jalapinot

Had an argument in the car over something relatively minor (or so I thought). Was on the way home from visiting his family 300 miles away and it was about 9pm on a Sunday. Asked to stop at some services because I was desperate for the loo. He refused to stop at the first ones I asked at and eventually stopped at the second after I begged. I got out and he drove off and left me there with my handbag in his car.
How nasty! Sorry if you have answered this already as I haven't RTFT, but how did you get home?
Myglueattack · 22/05/2021 22:04

He accused my parents of robbing a tenner off him. It had fallen out of his pocket in the car.

PizzaCrust · 22/05/2021 22:07

TW sexual assault.

The night after the previous night where he raped me. He picked me up (he was sober) from my friends house where we all got a bit too merry during our uni days and I was beyond drunk. I had told him a few days previously that I wanted to take a break from having sex because we had rushed into a relationship and in all honestly, it was a mistake. I was still figuring that out. He undressed me while I was lying essentially passed out on his bed and had sex with me while I lay there motionless. I stared at the wall the entire time and was numb.

It took me half a day afterwards to realise what had happened was rape (and that’s why I felt absolutely horrendous emotionally). I had made plans for the night after it happened with him and mutual friends weeks before to go out drinking and I spent the entire night avoiding him and not drinking. When the night was over and I was left alone with him in his house, I finally confronted him for what he did the night before. He sobbed like a baby because he KNEW what he had done. I left his house in the early hours and the worst bit?

He asked me for “one last hug” before I left. I’ve never told someone to fuck off and meant it more than in that moment.

After years of anxiety, panic attacks and depression, I finally think I’ve recovered. Lovely partner and two kids now. Couldn’t tell you what he has done with his life (probably very little). He’ll always be scum.

blackheartsgirl · 22/05/2021 22:11

Mine was a build up really

1st one..night before my hand op my brother and his his new girlfriend id never met came for a visit..couldn't be avoided they were from another country and it was an emergency op..
We had take out and dp refused to help me with the plates etc. I was in so much painand he belittled me in front of everyone calling me a pain in the arse and a nuisance.

Had op..refused to zip my coat up and made me wash up one handed because I was a lazy cow and he was tired from working.

The final one..he kicked my front door in and accused me of all sorts one night.. all because he didn't answer my phone because I'd broken down and was waiting for the rac

Chucked him out then

VaizyCrazyDaizy · 22/05/2021 22:24

Wish mine would just fuck off out of the house - how do you get them to leave. He’s dense as far as that goes, even when I tell him to fuck off, get out, leave!