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Original poster

I knew my relationship was over when.........

866 replies

Itwasoverwhen · 22/05/2021 14:25

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

OP posts:
BurningRed · 22/05/2021 15:47

That was the end of a decade of off/on and me romanticising how we would end up together in the end.

Funny how that was the final straw...

Diggingaholeformyself · 22/05/2021 15:48

When he casually dropped in to the conversation that he'd picked up and had sex with a few women in the previous few weeks.

Out of the blue but it didn't mean anything so that was ok. Yeah on yer bike matey boy.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 22/05/2021 15:49

When he told me he couldn't squeeze a holiday in with me next year cos he had too much planned with his mates.
Been together 11 years

BeyondMyWits · 22/05/2021 15:51

When I came home from a work trip away to find the bedding drying on the washing line. I just knew.

OhWhyNot · 22/05/2021 15:51

When my exdh home from his martial arts class and was a little overly loving cuddling me while I was cooking telling me how much he has missed me he was always affectionate but something was off

He then went to have a shower I checked his bag and his outfit hadn’t been worn

Over dinner I asked him about his class again too over enthusiastic I asked why his outfit (whatever it’s called can’t remember now) hadn’t been worn so where was he. He exploded and told me it was none of my business

I had had a few suspicions over a few months but that sealed it

I left the next day. He spent months trying to get me back and never once was I tempted (I was quite relieved as I was starting to look for a way out)

Soubriquet · 22/05/2021 15:52

These are awful. I’m so sorry to everyone and glad you got out.

statetrooperstacey · 22/05/2021 15:54

When he emptied a full potty over my head then set our 11 stone dog on me.

Horehound · 22/05/2021 15:55

@lostsoul1989 fuck that, deffo leave.take control

Reading one of these reminded me an ex gaslit me into believing a pair of black knickers in bed were mine. I'd been away for the weekend but honestly was so into him I did question myself.
He did lots of sneaky things and I still don't understand half of it. I didn't leave at that point because I was so in love but lots of things built up and eventually I just left.

Another guy, my first love, worked offshore. I missed him like crazy, was so sad when he went offshore, didn't do anything through the weeks he was away but he started coming home and going straight out with the band he was in and would come hom 3,4,5am when I had work the next day. This went on for a few months and we had an argument about it. One night he didn't want to come to bed and stayed up watching porn on a computer right in front of me. And then another night he came home drunk and told me a prostitute offered to have sex with him for free because he was so hot. Just making me feel like shit.
I ended up cheating on him with the guy I mentioned first on this post. Then when first love came home from his next trip we were out with a bunch of mates, I told first love I'd cheated, he dragged me out the pub by my hair. I got a taxi and stayed and the new guys house (who was actually working away at the time and luckily had left his door ajar bizarrely) so I had a place to go. Stayed with him a year and a half before he also drove me crazy and was a cheat too that was a shit few years of my life tbh.

I'm with my lovely lovely DH now :)

Horehound · 22/05/2021 15:55

@statetrooperstacey

When he emptied a full potty over my head then set our 11 stone dog on me.
Omg wtf. That's horrible
wigjuice · 22/05/2021 15:56

When he was screaming at me whilst drunk and frothy spittle was coming out of his mouth, so gross, still took a while for me to leave the relationship and a few more events, never again. No problem walking away from anyone since.

dubyalass · 22/05/2021 16:01

Many things, some of them similar to what’s described here, but the final straw was actually something quite mundane. Unfortunately we’d just signed a rental contract when the penny dropped that I couldn’t stand him, so I had to pretend all was fine for a few months until he finally fucked off. Oh the relief.

Macaroni46 · 22/05/2021 16:05

When I came home early from work as it was my daughter's last evening before returning to uni. I walked in on my exDH shouting abuse at her and her bravely staying calm and stating her point. I walked into the room to try to calm things only to be told by him 'we don't need you here'. I stayed anyway.
Eventually he stormed out. My poor DD collapsed sobbing into my arms and said 'I'm not coming home again if he's going to continue to be like this'.
At that moment I made my final decision; I'd been contemplating leaving for about 5 years but had been too scared to, but the thought of losing my daughter made up my mind.
There were several other defining moments too but that was the final straw. I moved out a month later (needed time to organise my get away).

BigusBumus · 22/05/2021 16:07

When I came home from an overseas exhibition where I had organised the stand and all our company's events for it, leaving him to look after our 2 yo for 3 nights. I came in at 9pm, I was buzzing that it had been such a success and he barely looked round at me. He was watching a film and at the end of it he went to bed. Sad

My now DH would've had a G&T waiting for me and would have turned the TV off and asked me all about how it went.

pumpkinpie01 · 22/05/2021 16:12

When he got so so drunk at a wedding when I was heavily pregnant that he didn't even know who I was . I spent the whole wedding looking after our dc while his family molly coddled him.

IhaveMyMoments · 22/05/2021 16:18

1st partner ds dad. When he fractured my jaw
2nd because he hated my best friend. Like really hated her for no other reason than baiut 3 m into our relationship he stone walled me for going out with her one eve. She text him and said don't EA me, he was welcome to join.
He wished her dead. Wished she had cancer. When her dsis passed away he said that's 'one less of her' in this planet.
I was so swamped by him I learned not to speak if I'd been with her. Icing on cake was going to celebrate her milestone birthday. He blanked me a week leading to it.
I dumped him the day after.... On his birthday!
6 years I wasted with him.
But if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have got my life back, going out freely with my friend and meeting dh

Cocolapew · 22/05/2021 16:24

The final straw was on holiday abroad and he decided to give me the silent treatment all day. Anytime I tried to talk he told me to shut up.
I realised that I preferred the silence so dumped him on the way to the airport.

Original poster
Itwasoverwhen · 22/05/2021 16:25

I had my own car, it was just the way he grabbed his bits and left me with the tent, all the equipment, literally everything else and was just happy to leave me to do it on my own. Even my kids were shocked.

OP posts:
lostsoul1989 · 22/05/2021 16:25

I just don't know what I have done.
So that is making it worse.

I feel bloody awful.

Empra123 · 22/05/2021 16:30

When I saw a text. "Spread your legs xx".

AnxiousPixie · 22/05/2021 16:35

When I found a bag full of hidden credit card statements. He'd been lying about his debt. Could never have trusted him or built a life with him again.

Resisterance · 22/05/2021 16:37

After paying for a two week holiday that I cried every day of due to his unpleasantness. It took me another 6 months to go but I've never known such unhappiness.

RainbowBriteUk · 22/05/2021 16:41

When I was stuck 30 miles away and had become suddenly ill with d&v and he wouldn't pick me up. He had no excuse really but once again used work as an excuse (self employed and could've easily picked me up had he wanted to). I also found out he had been texting a family friend who neither of us were close to but she texted him occasionally. He had been telling her of how I was crazy and ready to leave so when I read the texts I obliged with the leaving bit much to his surprise. He was telling me desperately how he didn't mean it.

NiceTwin · 22/05/2021 16:46

When I came home to find him screwing some woman he used to play squash against.
Broke my heart, took me years to get over the betrayal.

EveningOverRooftops · 22/05/2021 16:48

I had multiple miscarriages and he decided the night before my 20wk scan he was going to go out and get absolutely wrecked, didn’t come home until 4am. He was still out of it in the waiting room and completely ignored me when I said it was our turn so I went into the scan solo. He was angry but I was 100% present that morning and he chose the one night he needed to sleep and be rested to not be present.

NoPinkPlease · 22/05/2021 16:51

First when he wouldn't get me some toast when I felt sick when pregnant. And then when he screamed at me in my face when I was sitting on the sofa breastfeeding our second baby. She was just a few weeks old. Took me 3 years, but I knew in that moment.