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Original poster

I knew my relationship was over when.........

866 replies

Itwasoverwhen · 22/05/2021 14:25

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

OP posts:
YouSeeMee · 22/05/2021 23:58

He was an arrogant asshole (why, oh why did I go out with him) who coerced me into sex far more times than I'm comfortable remembering.

It wasn't the night he pissed, shat and vommited in the bed but thankfully a night not too long afterwards when we argued and he threatened - and then tried repeatedly - to burn me with a cigarette. We were sharing a house with others, and I slept on the couch that night. Mortifying.
I was young, so it was easy to extricate myself. I thank my lucky stars he showed his true colours so blatantly

ChubbyForensics · 22/05/2021 23:58

When he pushed me off the pavement into the road in front of an oncoming car., The car stopped before it hit me and I was lying in the road.

A couple came over and said we are Christians and we want to help you.

I refused their help as i felt ashamed and pretended nothing bad had happened.

Still took a few more weeks before I actually dumped him.

Carreterra · 23/05/2021 00:00

@Jalapinot
Oh my goodness, how on earth did you get home? Not that it would be a home when a pig like that lived there. I hope your'e happy now, your story was one of the worst on this thread. Flowers

Thelnebriati · 23/05/2021 00:12

I had a lump in my breast. He was too busy to drive me to the biopsy so I went on the bus. It was traumatic as they decided not to use any anesthetic.
I got home and he's sat there with his mate chatting. They both treated me as if I was intruding and that was it. I was done. It doesnt sound like much but it was the last in a list of things that made me realise I had a cocklodger, not a partner.

Jalapinot · 23/05/2021 00:14

@Carreterra had to get my bestie's husband to pick me up, managed to get home before he woke up and moved all my stuff out. Never felt so humiliated. Am happily married to a different man now thankfully.

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 23/05/2021 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 23/05/2021 00:14

...he told me I wasn’t a “proper woman”.

He is a long since ex.

MimiDaisy11 · 23/05/2021 00:18

When in a supermarket, exhausted and just needing to get some food for dinner. I asked him to get some pasta sauce and I'd get some other items so we'd get out quicker. He said he couldn't do it as he didn't know what one to get. I said I didn't care, but he insisted he couldn't. Sounds really minor but it just made me realise how pathetic he was, and how I had to do everything.

CarolandDarryl · 23/05/2021 00:19

He was a controlling emotionally abusive shithead (with, in hindsight some clear mental health issues) and I was far too young to have got myself trapped with someone like that but what finally did it was when he tried to convince me that he had stigmata on his hands. He used to say all kinds of horrible, outlandish, hurtful, weird shit and had conditioned me into not questioning it. It was like he enjoyed watching the confusion on my face as I tried to work out why the fuck he was saying yet another ridiculous thing that couldn’t possibly be true (he’d been visited by my dads dead brother and my dad had an affair with a model and went to catwalk shows with her being two of the tales he told me that come to mind). But stigmata was a step too far even for me.

The penny just dropped he was a complete tosspot and I dumped him there and then. I was only 18. Why the fuck did I put up with that for so long. I still regret the life choices I made while in that relationship. It damaged bits of me permanently I think.

WandaLust101 · 23/05/2021 00:24

When he woke up one morning and announced that he had to fly out of the country we were living in as his visa had expired and he had to get it renewed.

There were numerous other things leading up to this moment. Might not seem that big of a deal but I just remember feeling completely blown away. Like how you do fail to mention that your visa is expiring and you need to take a plane to a nearby country?? No mention of it beforehand whatsoever. We’d made plans that weekend. He just got up and walked out.

He’d always been unreliable and weird - keeping things from me that he should have told me about. But the visa thing made something in my brain just kind of switch off. I was done. When he got back I told him it was over.

Carreterra · 23/05/2021 00:35

[quote Jalapinot]@Carreterra had to get my bestie's husband to pick me up, managed to get home before he woke up and moved all my stuff out. Never felt so humiliated. Am happily married to a different man now thankfully. [/quote]
@Jalapinot
Thankyou for update, I'm so pleased you're happier now. Star

Stillfunny · 23/05/2021 00:47

When I caught him with a second phone in his hand. Made him hand it over , expecting to see porn. Reading messages it was obvious that he had an EA which explained all the coldness , distance and silence I had worried was a sign of mental illness.
Later inspection revealed that he had met a woman from Bumble . And a man from Grindr . Also was looking at other casual sex sites.
Finally , he is leaving soon for a job far away. So looking forward to it.

AlwaysLatte · 23/05/2021 00:48

These stories are truly awful. I'm so glad my husband is not like any of these! Well done for adios-ing these losers!

NoProblem123 · 23/05/2021 01:03

After he emigrated abroad to a new job/life, leaving me 6 mths pregnant and didn’t come back to see his very premature daughter in SCBU for a month because it didn’t fit in with his pre-booked leave and he wanted to make a good impression on his new boss.

And then he arranged for the utilities to be switched off to get me to move out of our home.

And then didn’t pay a penny or make any attempt to see our profoundly disabled daughter for the next 17 years.

And when he died last year, all his family were shocked she was still alive because he told them all she died 7 years ago.

AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters · 23/05/2021 01:04

It should have been on our honeymoon when he made a drinking buddy and spent every night at a bar whilst I was in the room. It should then have been when we were on our way to the hospital to have our DD. He told me he wasn’t ready to be a dad then went out drinking that night and I was on my own. Really it was six years later when he bought himself a Ferrari and wouldn’t let me have money to buy underwear I needed. He told me my attitude stank for asking.

colouringindoors · 23/05/2021 01:10

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 23/05/2021 01:39

Two things. He killed the puppies while I was out (and left their poor tiny bodies for me to find and deal with) and punched my 9 year old son, knocking him across the room.
He has never seen no1 son since. No2 son has seen him a handful of times in the intervening 21 years.

OhWhyNot · 23/05/2021 01:46

So many horrible ex partners about

I would like to believe these men are single but sadly probably making another women’s life a misery

Glad so many of us have moved on. Interesting to read the final straw or the one that makes us make a change is often something so trivial

hadtojoin · 23/05/2021 01:47

After being together for 3 years it was when he showed me the wedding invitation from two very good friends of ours and then told me I wouldn't be going with him because it was on a Friday and 'I wouldn't be able to get the day off work' without even asking me if I could. He also told me he didn't know himself that he was going to be the best man until the morning of the wedding. 2 weeks later I told him it was over.

Rejoiningperson · 23/05/2021 01:49

These stories are so harrowing Sad

I’m so sorry for all the women who have gone through such horror, and their children too.

So relieved that so many found the strength to leave and are carrying on. Flowers

MollyBloomYes · 23/05/2021 02:02

Somewhat embarrassingly, because he'd already left me when I was 8 months pregnant and I deluded myself that he was having a crisis, mental health issues and we were working things through slowly blah blah blah. But the moment I knew that I was done and would be filing for divorce was when that baby was a month old and rushed to hospital with sepsis, full emergency, older child left with parents, incredibly terrifying. He didn't turn up to the hospital until the next day because he 'couldn't get his car to start' and 'didn't know how else to get there'. I realised I was trying very hard to forgive his treatment of me but that treatment of our children there was no return from. I started emailing family law solicitors from the hospital and didn't entertain any further thoughts of working things out. Zero regrets except not throwing him out when he first started checking out of the marriage a few weeks before he left (and I became suspicious of an OW. Because of course there ended up being an OW as well Hmm)

PeriMisabastard · 23/05/2021 02:19

He didn’t show any emotion or provide any support after I was sexually assaulted by a stranger in an alleyway. He did get annoyed at me because I called him and asked him to come and get me at the police station as he was already on the bus to Uni (he was an ahem mature student). I had a full on breakdown after the event and he just pretended nothing had changed and that I wasn’t miserable as fuck. He had to go. I ruined his life by dumping him apparently.

ItJustKeepsGettingBetter · 23/05/2021 02:27

Developed post-partum psychosis after a traumatic birth. Self-harmed several times a day, each time I fed the baby, drawing my own blood. Husband watched me self-harm, shrugged his shoulders, and would walk out of the room. He went to work every day knowingly leaving a self harming first time mother with a newborn. This carried on for over two years. Eventually, I got myself the medical and psychological help I needed. Took me five years to find the courage to ask why he didn't do anything to help me during those years. He shrugged his shoulders, said that if he ever saw anyone in trouble, it wasn't his problem to deal with it. I filed divorce papers within the week.

leeds2glasgow · 23/05/2021 02:28

@MimiDaisy11

When in a supermarket, exhausted and just needing to get some food for dinner. I asked him to get some pasta sauce and I'd get some other items so we'd get out quicker. He said he couldn't do it as he didn't know what one to get. I said I didn't care, but he insisted he couldn't. Sounds really minor but it just made me realise how pathetic he was, and how I had to do everything.
I get that.
leeds2glasgow · 23/05/2021 02:32

@AlwaysLatte

These stories are truly awful. I'm so glad my husband is not like any of these! Well done for adios-ing these losers!
Confusednow might be not the time to say yours is brilliant. Read the ducking room