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Original poster

I knew my relationship was over when.........

866 replies

Itwasoverwhen · 22/05/2021 14:25

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

OP posts:
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 25/05/2021 20:15

@StrangeLookingParasite agreed

MarchingOnTogether · 25/05/2021 20:17

When he 'accidentally' locked me out so I had to stay at a friend's house.
The next day I found a pink thing under my bed,.it most definitely wasn't mine!!

MarchingOnTogether · 25/05/2021 20:17

Thong not thing

Alcemeg · 25/05/2021 20:21

@MarchingOnTogether

Thong not thing
I'm almost disappointed you clarified. My mind was boggling as to what the pink thing could be! 🤣
Kiki06 · 25/05/2021 20:33

When I read this post!!!!

Ddot · 25/05/2021 21:01

It's never easy to leave an abusive relationship, if you have never experienced it you can't comprehend the depths your partner with go. By the time I left (ran) I'd changed so much. When we met I was a young pretty fun loving girl, it stated on our honeymoon, I burned the lunch. Each day being told your fat, unattractive, boring and thick, eventually I believed him. Not knowing if today he will be angry if today you'll get it.Then something happens, nothing major just something and if your lucky the light that went out comes back on and you plot. It took me a while but I realised he was right, i didnt deserve him, I deserved better

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 25/05/2021 21:03

When I woke up at around 2 AM freezing on the sofa with the TV on and big lights on, he had gone to bed without trying to wake me or at least cover me with a blanket. We limped on for another year or so but at that moment I knew he didn't actually care about me anymore.

MarchingOnTogether · 25/05/2021 21:07

🤣🤣

Healthywealthy · 25/05/2021 21:10

I’ve already posted the awful boyfriend from hell story. Now for some lighthearted ones from my younger years...

Boyf 1 When I thought about how his teeth weren’t very clean... bleurgh! I ignored his calls from then on instead of telling him why..

Different boyfriend... When he was just a bit too NICE when I was unthinkingly a bit mean - and didn’t want to discuss it just wanted to forget it. I knew then weren’t going to go the distance.

With a friend... one too many passive aggressive comments which were just horrible! I decided to sever the friendship. I miss the person that I used to know... not the friend they became, sadly.

When he promised to buy me something very expensive that he thought I’d love... i didn’t...! I knew then he didn’t know ME at all. He just saw me as the female version of him and he was trying to impress me on some weird way.

I think we know these -often tiny -signs and ignore them all the bloody time because at the it seems easier to go along with it. Problem is the longer you do that the harder it is to get out of the relationship, the more one or both of you get hurt.

I wonder how we help to future proof our children from these destructive and damaging relationships..

Dacquoise · 25/05/2021 21:10

@Shimmyshimmycocobop, omg I had one of those. Short term because I realised how selfish and one sided it was. Freezing on the sofa while he put himself to bed just said it all.

Ddot · 25/05/2021 21:23

Said he didnt want children with ME, i eventually divorced him, he remarried and had children. I on the other hand ended up too damaged to try again. I hope to god he changed his ways for her sake.

YouKnowItsTrue · 25/05/2021 21:34

This thread is a real eye opener on how many arsehole men there are out there treating women like they are nothing. I find this very sad.

But one thing sticks out like a beacon of hope for those reading and that is that every last one said they are happier since they left and many said they wish they had done it years ago.

For those reading this thread and suffering in an abusive relationship I hope that these stories maybe give you enough strength to take steps to leave these bastards and live a happier life. Flowers

Congressdingo · 25/05/2021 21:36

I wonder how we help to future proof our children from these destructive and damaging relationships

Probably many things we can do. But off the top of my head

Teach proper independence, you can live alone, it's not difficult or at least no more difficult than living with this abuse.

Make all children (at a suitable age) read lundy Bancrofts book, and some other books whose authors names escape me.

Teach girls (be honest this mostly happens to women) they are worth more than this shit.

Smash the patriarchy, I know rainbows and ribbon and glitter and fuck all chance, but we have to start somewhere.

llizzie · 25/05/2021 22:09

EerieSilence some women suffer in silence, because they are persuaded it is their fault, that somehow something they have done is the cause of the terrible experiences they have. They think they are alone, when in fact there are many others suffering. Some women are even afraid to talk about their violent partners, for fear that people will avoid them, or that someone will tell their partner and cause more trouble. . My late DH was a retired vicar and the exact opposite to my XH, whom I finally divorced. I have friends terrified to confide in anyone in case their partners found out. Some women just do not realise that there are many women suffering the same.

Ellen2shoes · 25/05/2021 22:18

When he threw up his beer into the Lego

rrf · 25/05/2021 22:29

When he walked out after I had a masectomy

NowtSoQueerAsFolk · 25/05/2021 22:32

When things that I previously would have been very upset by, stopped mattering to me. I didn't care what he said, what he thought, what he did.

Bloodypunkrockers · 25/05/2021 23:16

[quote Sarah90W]@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel - Look back on the chat, I explained the reply button hadn’t worked.

I think your being rude! 😜 and was having a bad morning so you took it out on me.

Everyone says I’m like the nicest person ever.[/quote]
The nicest person or just like the nicest person?

Kayz27 · 25/05/2021 23:40

My last comment, that’s highlighted in purple for some reason was meant as tongue in cheek, I would never hurt anyone. I don’t think I will make comments on here anymore, they don’t seem to go where they should and are taken the wrong way.

Ellen2shoes · 26/05/2021 00:06

@Kayz27

My last comment, that’s highlighted in purple for some reason was meant as tongue in cheek, I would never hurt anyone. I don’t think I will make comments on here anymore, they don’t seem to go where they should and are taken the wrong way.
This is one of the best threads, haven’t read it all must admit but it’s a proper tugger. Don’t feel that way as it’s best out than in. Would be so interesting to hear the dadsnet side to all of this!
StrangeLookingParasite · 26/05/2021 00:07

@Ddot

It's never easy to leave an abusive relationship, if you have never experienced it you can't comprehend the depths your partner with go. By the time I left (ran) I'd changed so much. When we met I was a young pretty fun loving girl, it stated on our honeymoon, I burned the lunch. Each day being told your fat, unattractive, boring and thick, eventually I believed him. Not knowing if today he will be angry if today you'll get it.Then something happens, nothing major just something and if your lucky the light that went out comes back on and you plot. It took me a while but I realised he was right, i didnt deserve him, I deserved better
It's amazing, isn't it, how they grind you down.

I got a really important lesson, though, that domestic violence can happen to anyone, as I'd smugly thought previously 'oh that will never happen to me'.

Wrong.

Ddot · 26/05/2021 05:49

rrt
Hope your well now and sod that pig.
I look back and think was that really me. I like to remember it as a novel I read its easier that way.

bobisbored · 26/05/2021 06:27

During the first lockdown when it was difficult to get things in the supermarket I tried to use up food e had in the cupboards. I made sweet and sour chicken one evening. He obviously didn't fancy it so he screamed at me in front of our kids telling me I shouldn't assume he'd want that for dinner and started punching cupboard doors in anger.

Ddot · 26/05/2021 06:45

Why do men think it's ok to act like petulant toddlers

stickydancefloor · 26/05/2021 06:57

It was a combination of several things happening though really it should’ve been over on our honeymoon when he went mad at me and stonewalled me in France because I’d forgotten spare batteries for the camera Hmm

It was finally over when he spent a family holiday texting his 23 year old female colleague rather than engaging with me and the DC. Then he skipped work on Valentine’s Day and spent the day with her.

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