Page 23 | I knew my relationship was over when.........

Queenie6655 · 24/05/2021 21:41

@KatharinaRosalie

Out of interest, do any of you know if they behaved in the same way to their next gf / partner ?

I don't know, as I had no contact with the ex afterwards. But I read in papers that his next girlfriend killed herself shortly after their wedding..

Well the woman he married few years before me he also tried to kill her He told her he would rape her mother too

Charmer 🤬🤬

Dustyhedge · 24/05/2021 21:43

Not divorced but a little bit of our relationship died after the birth of our second child. He made pat leave all about him and needing a holiday leaving me to look after both children on my own while he took to his bed to sleep and watch tv. I’ve never really forgiven him and don’t know if I’ll ever get that back. If we ever do divorce there will be a lot of built up resentment that will go back to those two weeks. Before then I would have never imagined it. After, there have been a number of times where I’ve thought it could happen.

I’m horrified by some of the stories on here. There are some truly despicable humans out there.

Rhannion · 24/05/2021 21:45

@Itwasoverwhen

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

What a total selfish bastard. Hope you are and your children are happy now

Myleftfoot39 · 24/05/2021 21:50

He started “joking” about hurting our child.

Left ASAP.

Lampzade · 24/05/2021 22:01

Many of these stories are bloody shocking. I am sitting here reading them open mouthed.

Mol70 · 24/05/2021 22:02

Women, I am in awe. Such survivors.

This isn't my first rodeo. Had my daughter at 20, stayed in college. Her asshole dad said he would move in and mind her to save childcare money. First night he stayed out drinking. In the morning I had to get up for lectures. 11 month old was eating blue tack off the wall. I asked him to get up and mind her. He grunted. I put her in the buggy and left. Told him to be gone when I d get back. 6 years later, frying pan to fire job. Getting out now . Reading these does not make me want to try again! So so many horrible twisted men out there!

Dontsayfuckorbugger · 24/05/2021 22:02

Slept with my best mate when our son was merely months old. Was all my fault of course as wasn't up to marathon sex sessions.

h1nch · 24/05/2021 22:04

When he disappeared for an entire Saturday and when he came home said he had been "washing a [female] colleagues car".

RoughSeas · 24/05/2021 22:09

[quote LoverOfAllThingsPurple]@RoughSeas Wait a minute…. He told you to make yourself scarce so he could try and sleep with another woman and you did just that? Why? I would have told the tart to do one and him to put it back in his bloody trousers and then gone home early the next day. I don’t understand why some women are so nice to such scumbags who don’t deserve it. You were better than that.[/quote]
@LoverOfAllThingsPurple.

I know! I think I was so shocked that I just went into automatic mode. To this day I don’t understand it 😳

Lena18 · 24/05/2021 22:13

When i found out hed been sleeping with my best friend after id confided in her about that thing's were rocky and she said i was imagining things..

LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 24/05/2021 22:15

@silentlight please leave him. You deserve happiness too

Teatimes2 · 24/05/2021 22:20

He said he'd never been in love with me after 5 years together.

Kayz27 · 24/05/2021 22:26

That would’ve been grounds for murder I think. Inconsiderate person he is. I hope & pray hou have someone that loves & treats you right now.

Teatimes2 · 24/05/2021 22:27

Thanks. It was only 3 months ago. I was heartbroken and devastated. I plan on staying single for a long while.

Eatdrinkbemerry · 24/05/2021 22:30

@Lowasitgets

I feel so sad reading this. Please speak to someone you trust and look at how you can get out.
Who else do you live with that your whole family just let you sit there.

keffie12 · 24/05/2021 22:31

The ex who is the biological father of my 4. I knew it was over when he turned on my eldest son. That was it. No more. I walked the door with my 4 youngsters and our clothes.

Started again with nothing. Never regretted it. That was 21 years ago. I have a good life I rebuilt in the aftermath and happily remarried

Icepinkeskimo · 24/05/2021 22:35

Deep breath here...

He promised absolutely promised he was clean. Convinced me, no more drugs, didn't need them didn't want them, everything would be good.

It wasn't good, one night one of the security cameras flashed up on my phone. He wasn't in bed.

I looked at my phone and opened the app.
He was in the lounge, smoking heroin, chasing that fucking dragon. It was horrific, even now thinking about it, I feel like I could be sick.

He'd never stopped, everything was just his junkie devious lies and deceptions.

I don't dread weekends anymore, but he broke me.

CruellaDaVille · 24/05/2021 22:40

When I found an email on his laptop from a photographer with attached photographs of his wedding from 6 weeks earlier - he was supposed to have been away with the army reserves.

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 24/05/2021 22:52

When he cried about feeling so ill just as I was leaving the house for a night with my friends, then proceeded to make me sit next to him all night but wouldn’t speak to me. I made my decision in that silence.

AmmarettoSours · 24/05/2021 22:56

A drunk man started on me in the middle of the street as we walked back to mine from the shops. He was screaming in my face and wouldn't let me get away (no idea who he was or why he was trying to fight me) and my"bf" walked off and left me on my own. Didn't call the police just went home. Thankfully got saved by a group of teens who surrounded me and called police.
I lost every ounce of respect for him in that moment and he even had the nerve to beg me not to leave him urgh .

benefitshelppls21 · 24/05/2021 22:59

[quote LoverOfAllThingsPurple]@RoughSeas Wait a minute…. He told you to make yourself scarce so he could try and sleep with another woman and you did just that? Why? I would have told the tart to do one and him to put it back in his bloody trousers and then gone home early the next day. I don’t understand why some women are so nice to such scumbags who don’t deserve it. You were better than that.[/quote]
I think comments like yours @LoverOfAllThingsPurple are awful. It comes across as so victim blaming. I’m glad you’ve never been in such a horrible relationship yourself to have empathy and understand why situations like this might arise. Good for you that you would have handled the situation differently but as this thread proves it is not that simple for many of us, maybe you could educate yourself a little before making such an ignorant comment next time.

Clucket87 · 24/05/2021 23:14

I had 2 shitty X’s.
X number 1

He was awful with money. As soon as he was paid he would be on the fruit machines.
He would go for days out with another woman. He had been going on for ages about going to London Zoo but because I was finishing my dissertation and didn’t have time, he went with her.
There were dick pics on his phone. And they weren’t of his dick.
He was texting underage guys and girls.
I would tell him I couldn’t visit because I had work at the weekend. He told me that I didn’t have to work and that it was a choice not to see him. But the final straw was when he told me that I didn’t need to go back to law school to train, and that I could go and live with him and work in a chip shop. X number 2 The next guy was, in general a nice guy but apparently no didn’t mean anything. I remember sitting in a family law lecture and being in so much pain from the rape earlier that morning. I was training to be a barrister and had been raped. I didn’t feel like I could tell anybody. A few months later he was sleep walking and was shouting at me and telling me to “f**k leave” his flat and that he is as going to strange me. I was devastated when he broke up with me. My brother slept on my bedroom floor because he was so worried about me and my mum had me on the sofa with her and just cuddles me. He had been my crutch whilst I was getting to grips with my mum having terminal cancer. He then had the cheek to send flowers when she died and my family didn’t tell me until after her funeral as they knew I would have gone round and thrown them in his face. Apart from the flowers he had ghosted me, until about 6 years later when he emailed me out of the blue to apologise and all the things he had done was because he was depressed and would I forgive him. I emailed him back and literally he was emailing me within 10 minutes. He was sending me pictures of what he looked like now and asked if I would like to talk on the phone. I told my then fiancé about his messages and he was fine with me speaking to him but in the end I told him(X) I couldn’t do it and that I felt I was being fair to fiancé to be messaging another guy. I never did call him out on the rape. I have been with my DH for 8.5years now and we have a beautiful 9 week old baby boy. I couldn’t be happier but I remember the rubbish I went through. Anybody that is struggling, there is a way out. Better days are waiting for you.

LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 24/05/2021 23:19

@benefitshelppls21 Your guessing and ignorant comment about me says the exact same about you. Just because I said I’d tell them to do one doesn’t make me lack empathy and compassion. Just reading that persons experience made me feel for them and wish that they’d done more. I also understand that a reaction in the exact moment may have been completely different to others and definitely due to shock as no one would expect that from a loved one. So before you go guessing and posting your own ignorant comment, try finding out more first.

Carpedimum · 24/05/2021 23:28

Horribly abusive relationship, I actually had a restraining order against him, but I’d got pregnant before the incident where he tried to strangle me to death which led to the court case, because it had been easier to have sex with him & have him fall asleep, than endure a torrent of abuse and violence. I realise this makes no sense to anyone who has not lived through domestic abuse & violence.
I had a crazy notion that our DS had to have his father in his life, so he lived in my house in a quasi relationship, but he was always out getting pissed & I was always on pins. One night, when DS was about 3 months old, he came in at 0230hrs & decided to wake DS, not long after I’d got him back to sleep after a feed & I was desperate for sleep. He was blind drunk & said “I’ll do what I like with him, he’s my son.” In all the times that I’d been in danger and felt scared, nothing compared to that, my fear that he’d hurt DS. My inner lioness awoke and that sealed his fate. Utter, utter .

GiftedFish · 24/05/2021 23:37

When they dislocated my knee by kicking me because I confronted them about asking another woman for pictures of her in certain outfit.