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Original poster

I knew my relationship was over when.........

866 replies

Itwasoverwhen · 22/05/2021 14:25

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

OP posts:
JustLyra · 24/05/2021 20:30

@DagenhamRoundhouse

Good idea with the double cream

Another one is inserting prawns into the curtain hems.

Or tuna inside a hollow curtain pole.

Especially if the curtain is over a radiator. Put something obvious down the radiator and they think that's the smell.

Louise511 · 24/05/2021 20:31

When my ex crashed into the back of stationary car - driven by a woman who was pregnant. He then got out and blamed her for causing the accident

eeek88 · 24/05/2021 20:37

He told me I had to choose between him and the dog. I chose the dog. He didn’t leave.

Shortly afterwards, having learned zero lessons, he boldly tried another ultimatum: I had to leave the home I’d just moved to in an area I’d always wanted to live, and move to a city I hate, otherwise it was over. I told him it was over. Yet again he didn’t leave.

It took a lot of commitment to successfully dump him. The final straw was when he tried to weep his way into my pants. It switched on something evil inside me. Good job too. His next girlfriend failed to activate the evil, and he stalked her for two years (4x longer than their relationship lasted) after she dumped him.

DagenhamRoundhouse · 24/05/2021 20:42

What amazes me is that so many of these men seem to have another woman to go to, as if they were waiting in the wings. Be interesting to know how they behave with the OW, if they're as pig awful.

Sarah90W · 24/05/2021 20:50

@NCBlossom

That was such a nice story, I was with a guy for a while who had similar addictions issues, there was never going to be a future but he was so kind hearted and sweet.

StrangeLookingParasite · 24/05/2021 20:51

[quote Sarah90W]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

The reply button isn’t working. 😂[/quote]
The quote function works.

hert2020 · 24/05/2021 20:55

@MWMWMW can I ask what the book was?

Bambi77 · 24/05/2021 20:55

When I found out he was messaging prostitutes as my mother lay on her death bed. Sick vile creep

KirstenBlest · 24/05/2021 20:59

What amazes me is that so many of these men seem to have another woman to go to, as if they were waiting in the wings. Be interesting to know how they behave with the OW, if they're as pig awful.

Not to start with. They are as nice as pie. You are the psycho ex.
All his exes were psychos.
They are so nice to start with that you don't notice when they start to play up, because you trust them.
The behaviour gets worse until one day the scales fall off your eyes.

HouseMoveHell2021 · 24/05/2021 21:00

He headbutted me and broke my nose....

GucciJackie · 24/05/2021 21:03

Oh my God. @housemovehell2021 what a horrible thing to happen to you.

Surely a man must be mired in self-loathing after he has headbutted a woman and broken her nose. I just cannot imagine how a man could live with himself after that. Depressingly, the answer is often 'fairly easily' while everybody around him suffers.

Armadiloes · 24/05/2021 21:10

After avoiding me all night at his family wedding, loosing his wedding ring, drinking till the early hours, starting an argument in the hotel to then take off drunk as a skunk in his car back to my house stranding me with his family. We'd just had our first anniversary, lost a close family member and were trying for a baby. Hung in there for another 4 years which I shouldn't but I have the most wonderful little girl ever. He's back to his drink and drug life style that I apparently saved him from - although I have my doubts!

Armadiloes · 24/05/2021 21:11

Oh and it ended cause he created on me!

Armadiloes · 24/05/2021 21:11

*cheated

sammysnake · 24/05/2021 21:11

So many dreadful stories. I'm so glad that many of you are in better places now.

Mine is quite mundane. It was bonfire night and there was a big display nearby that I really wanted to see. He spent the whole night making snide comments about it as he was far too above it all to go. Then when there were no other plans he decided we would go and brought his brother too. He stood throughout the entire display ignoring me and passing snide comments to his brother about it. It was such a small thing really but it made me feel so sad. When we got home I knew it was over. Months went by before I ended it. It got to the point that I started to find him physically repulsive and I felt very bad for feeling that way, which delayed me ending it sooner for some stupid reason.

Mol70 · 24/05/2021 21:11

He always hated birthdays Christmas etc, used say " oh I suppose you 're expecting a big fuss. " I never was, but always made a big fuss of his. Surprise 30th, surprise trip to London for 40th, used spend every penny my mom gave me for Christmas for myself on trips away where he would get hammered drunk and sulk.

One mother s day he surprised me with this beautiful handmade side table. I was thrilled and thanked him profusely..in my mind I was " oh he does love me after all!"

Half an hour later? " oh I forgot to get my mother a present. I 'll give her that". He did the same thing the next year with a fabulous jug..I was thrilled again..

I can almost laugh at it all now. 24 years of my life. I was too scared to leave, I thought it would mess the kids up. Waiting for the divorce next month. Still in the house, both working from home the last year. It s been relatively easy . Other than being the father of my kids he means nothing to me. Zero.

I read " Attached " by Amir Levine. It s on audible too. It explained it all. I was anxious preoccupied..he is avoidant. They learn to hate you, care more about what strangers think. It s fascinating. I thought I was nuts, weak. Turns out it s an evolutionary trick that made me cling on.

HouseMoveHell2021 · 24/05/2021 21:14

@GucciJackie luckily many years ago now, but it was tough, he clung on to the hope that I would take him back and I even agreed to go to relate with him, but couldn't be in the same room as him. He moved on quickly and conceived his first child within months of moving out of our home. I believe he is still married to the mother now (and yes, I am sure she is fully aware of what he did as he was a work friend)
There had been plenty of mental, and emotional abuse prior to that, but its crazy how far it has to go before you walk.. (or before I did anyway)

Unfortunately it did scar me for many years and I found myself in several bad relationships after that, where they were either unfaithful or abusive or both. Luckily now I'm with someone who could do with a kick up his arse from time to time, but is kind and faithful, and I've really learnt ro appreciate that...

ConfusedCarrie · 24/05/2021 21:14

When he snatched a toy out of my hand that was going to be my son's birthday present and put back the 2nd 12pk of beer in the trolley. "We cannot afford a toy!" He said. I left the trolley in the supermarket went home, packed and moved into DM and DFs

D0D0 · 24/05/2021 21:16

[quote hert2020]@MWMWMW can I ask what the book was?[/quote]
They’ve linked to the book in their post

bloodynamechangethe3rd · 24/05/2021 21:20

When he broke every bone in my face, plus my collar bone and two vertebrae. Why?
Because I asked him to sleep in bed not on the sofa as it was Christmas Eve and we had a 5 year old who thought Santa wouldn't come if he was on the sofa.

2nd one pushed me off the top step of the stairs with my 5 month old in my arms and three days after coming home from hospital following an ectopic.
Why?
Because I was that useless my body couldn't even make a baby right.

Now. My husband worships us, we have four children, my eldests partner lives with us and my husband treats every one of those kids the same, he adopted my eldest. Stair pusher wouldn't consent to adoption but hubby has shared parental rights.

ThistleTits · 24/05/2021 21:21

@lostsoul1989

I just don't know what I have done. So that is making it worse.

I feel bloody awful.

You have not done anything, this is his issue. It will never change, it will get worse. Please leave, make you happy. Flowers
ilovemygirls · 24/05/2021 21:28

He grabbed the car keys (we had 5 cars, I drove the oldest one), threw them down the drain & picked up my phone & smashed it... all because I’d booked (wasted money) on ballet lessons. The children started crying in the car & I left. I went to stay with my mum until I had enough money to rent a house. 10 years later, I have finally purchased a home for my children & I. He doesn’t see them anymore - except when he turns up on birthdays.

LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 24/05/2021 21:34

@RoughSeas Wait a minute…. He told you to make yourself scarce so he could try and sleep with another woman and you did just that? Why? I would have told the tart to do one and him to put it back in his bloody trousers and then gone home early the next day. I don’t understand why some women are so nice to such scumbags who don’t deserve it. You were better than that.

KatharinaRosalie · 24/05/2021 21:37

Out of interest, do any of you know if they behaved in the same way to their next gf / partner ?

I don't know, as I had no contact with the ex afterwards. But I read in papers that his next girlfriend killed herself shortly after their wedding..

KirstenBlest · 24/05/2021 21:38

Oh my. That's awful.

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