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I knew my relationship was over when.........

866 replies

Itwasoverwhen · 22/05/2021 14:25

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

OP posts:
Hen2018 · 23/05/2021 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Identifiable

readytosell · 23/05/2021 15:24

When she tried to emotionally manipulate me yet again by turning the on the water works and blaming it on everything but her own actions.

I've been single ever since, and never been happier.

ladygindiva · 23/05/2021 15:27

@JemimaMoon

When my kids started having panic attacks on the way home from school cos they weren't sure what mood Dad would be in when we got home.
Heartbreaking. I hope you and your children are happy now x
ChaToilLeam · 23/05/2021 15:34

We had just bought a flat and he hadn’t even taken the day off work for the move, it was me and some friends I had managed to rope in to help.

He came home from work, joined in with the beer and takeaway that I had got in to thank our friends, then announced there was a party on that night. I said no way could we go, we didn’t even have a bed put up to sleep on yet.

He fucked off to the party and left me alone to sort out the bed and try to organise some essentials for the coming days. It limped on for another year or so but that was the day I realised that he really was a silly manchild and I would be stuck being the adult for all eternity if this continued.

Gumbomambo · 23/05/2021 15:36

When I caught him shagging my bridesmaid...on my wedding day. They’d been at it for months. Horrible stories on this thread but some really inspiring awesome posters out there. Good luck and stay strong.

Dillidilly · 23/05/2021 15:38

When we were standing on the pavement outside a party on a Saturday night and he was screaming in my face because I'd politely replied to another man who had innocently chatted to me. His face was so contorted and it was like he was vomiting hate at me, and I can remember thinking so clearly that if I stayed he was capable of killing me. Went to a solicitors on the Monday.

DianeCherry · 23/05/2021 15:47

When he called a 13 year old girl "Jailbait"

HeraInTheHereAndNow · 23/05/2021 15:54

I was working extra night shifts to make ends meet and caring for a newly diagnosed son with autism and my then DH spent his entire bonus in a new Ducati motorcycle.

Then, he had an affair with the girl at BMW. I knew her.

Buzlightyear1 · 23/05/2021 15:55

My ex throw a plate at his 80 year old uncle then throw all table out the window. The. We went down stairs he grabbed me by my arm and flung me into the wall. All this we cause if argument with his family. I was also 6w pregnant.

I was scared to leave as he kept telling me I would t be able to keep the baby by myself as I’m disabled. He then went on to do a lot worse. Like lock me and my son in the car whilst injections class a drugs and driving like a maniac. Spending all my money and milk vouchers. Trying to convince I’m losses my mind that he wasn’t using drugs even though he did it right infront of myself and my son. He was also doing his best to keep me away fro. My family. Thank god that didn’t work and my mum was there to support me . One day we had no money so he was cooking up a old spoon that he used with drugs there was nothing in it but he was desperate. He then called me a bad mum I called the police told them and they removed him and were brilliant. He done a lot worse I hate what I let him do to my son and myself . Also so happy it ended whilst my son was 2 so he doesn’t really remember much. I still struggle with him to this day even though I’m not in a relationship with him.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 23/05/2021 15:57

So many awful stories, dreadful men!

So glad for those of you who have got away.

@Itwasoverwhen - was this rank bastard also your kids' father? I mean, it's bad either way, but if he abandoned his kids as well as you, that's even worse.

@nottomgates - Thanks for feeling this thread gave you strength to acknowledge openly what happened to you. So sorry it did, and same to all the others who were abused in this way. :(

grapewine · 23/05/2021 16:04

@DianeCherry

When he called a 13 year old girl "Jailbait"
How disgusting.
JemimaMoon · 23/05/2021 16:21

Thank you @ladygindiva. We're getting there. That was one of many stories I could've shared. It took me a long time to recognise how awful it was.

StormBaby · 23/05/2021 16:25

When I was in a car accident and taken to hospital in an ambulance and he couldn’t even be bothered to leave work.

SirVixofVixHall · 23/05/2021 16:29

@Gumbomambo

When I caught him shagging my bridesmaid...on my wedding day. They’d been at it for months. Horrible stories on this thread but some really inspiring awesome posters out there. Good luck and stay strong.
I know someone who was the groom in this scenario.
gib1973 · 23/05/2021 16:34

When I was diagnosed with cancer and he didn’t come to any medical appointments with me or any of the chemo appointments

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 23/05/2021 16:36

I was busy one weekend, so had said I wasn't around and I'd see him a few days later (and ignored the moaning texts about how that wasn't fair, how he could come and 'look after the house so it was safe', and the fucking creepy 'send me a naughty picture, then' shit he had just started doing, which was rapidly becoming the final straw).

I came home about 4 hours later to find that he had parked his car up where I wouldn't see it, climbed over a ten foot wall, broken the lid of the water butt and a branch off my Cherry Tree on the way down, forced the back door open, helped himself to my food and cracked open a few cans that he'd brought with him, so that, by 11.30am on a Saturday morning, he was passed out half on his back on my kitchen floor.

Instead of my first instinct being to put him into the recovery position, my first was such rage at him trampling over my literal boundaries, I briefly had the thought of booting him in his ugly, drunken face. My second was to say 'Are you dead? If not, you'd better not be here when I get back or I'm calling the Police' and I walked straight back out again for another four hours, figuring that if he died of aspirational asphyxia in that period, as long as he was breathing when I left (which he was), no court in the land would convict me of anything.

When I got back, he was gone. And then he left a voicemail later to stay that he'd had a dream that my house was going to be broken into and I was in danger, so he needed to come over and 'protect' me for when I got home.

I dumped him instead - because I'd realised that I genuinely didn't care if he died or not and because having thought of such violence towards him was obviously proof that it was over for me.

ScottChegg · 23/05/2021 16:49

@dillydallydollydaydream7

His name wasn't Andy, was it?

nighttimeflowers · 23/05/2021 17:34

When I heard this song and realised nearly every line entirely resonated with how I felt about him Grin

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 23/05/2021 17:37

@nighttimeflowers excellent Grin

PassionPeach · 23/05/2021 17:49

He told me he was more tired than me, after I'd spent an entire week at hospital, every visiting time, to see my Nan slowly dying. He did 'art' for a job, which basically meant he sat on his backside in his manky pyjamas drawing on his computer. I had just come back from seeing my Nan after being given 'the call' (she didn't pass until later that week, it was a false alarm), beyond exhausted and thought I'd have some support from him. I turned up at his, he seemed massively put out but then tried to have sex with me. I said no, I was too tired, and he stormed out, saying how much more tired he was than me and that I had no right to be tired.
I locked myself in the bathroom and cried so much. He didn't come to check on me, or apologise. Just carried on sulking and drawing. I let myself out and went home. Stupid me stuck with him for another 4 years after that. I hate his guts.

TheThermalStair · 23/05/2021 17:56

@SlightlyJaded

My cat got run over and killed. I was really sad. That night, my self absorbed twat of a DP proceeded to get blind drunk and spend the whole night crying about his dog that had died when he was nine It was quite extraordinary.

And when I pointed out that my pet had died 'four hours ago' rather than twenty years ago, I was told that it was 'just a cat' so the connection wasn't the same as a 'dog' which scars you for life.

OK then.

The next day, it suddenly dawned on me that he always had to own the drama. And despite being mildly impressed that he'd even managed to manipulate my dead cat into his emotional catastrophe, he had to go.

You want a self pitying drama? Off you fuck. Now you can cry about that.

Sorry about your cat Flowers

This is amazingly similar to a man I dated. My dad collapsed in the street and was taken to hospital very unwell, I was abroad staying with then-boyfriend and not able to get back to see him, and obviously worried sick. Boyfriend didn't ask me anything about my dad's health or say anything comforting - instead he started reminiscing about when his grandfather had died, 20 years earlier. He ended up crying about his long-dead grandad, while I just sat there absolutely bemused at how he had managed to make this all about him.

FuckYouCorona · 23/05/2021 18:35

When my father was dying in hospital, my then husband made it perfectly clear that I needed to get back in time to pick up the DC from school because he was not prepared to leave work early to do it. Angry When I pulled him up on it he said that he'd been unhappy since 6 months after our wedding & didn't want to be with me.

The best thing he ever did in reality. I was so destroyed from 11 years of being with such a controlling, abusive arsehole, I'm not sure I'd have ever had the guts to end things myself. I am now remarried to somebody who loves & respects me.

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 23/05/2021 18:43

[quote ScottChegg]@dillydallydollydaydream7

His name wasn't Andy, was it?[/quote]
No, but his stepdad was called that!

Bloodypunkrockers · 23/05/2021 18:49

On my 30th birthday

I came home from work and he was upstairs playing computer games

He didn't come downstairs at all

I made myself my tea then Went to bed

Apparently it was my fault for. It coming up to say hello

BobLemon · 23/05/2021 19:01

When, while walking through a busy market, he parted his ass cheeks to let the fart out. Envy

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