I knew my relationship was over when.........

[Itwasoverwhen]

We went camping, there was a huge storm, he packed up his car and left me with 3 children, a huge tent to take down and everything still to pack in the lashing rain and wind because 'his stuff was packed'. I was still there an hour later and a man from a neighbouring tent couldn't even believe he had gone and just left me to struggle on my own.

Your turn...

I hope that shit rag DM doesn't report on this thread.

oh, mine is currently still single, i'm ex wife number 2, no-one else has been dumb enough to jump on his EA wagon yet... but thats mostly because he's a lonely old man with some horrible opinions that has pretty much alienated every friend he has.. and still moans about what a bitch i was to leave him to anyone who listens.

@lostsoul1989
You haven’t done anything. This silent treatment/stonewalling is abuse, and you deserve more, do you have any support/help?

There had been a build up of emotional abuse and I had, the day before, found out he was having an affair. He tried to gaslight me about it. I was in the process of finding a way to leave. I was cooking dinner and he asked what I was making. When I told him he began insulting my cooking. I calmly told him exactly what I thought of him. He leapt to his feet, pushed me against a wall and hit me round the face twelve times. He then began throttling me. He told me he would move his girlfriend in and he would have the house and the kids while I would 'disappear'. I fought him, but was not strong enough. My fifteen year old child came into the room, saw what was happening and fought him. Between us we managed to get him off me and out of the room. We barricaded the door to stop him getting back in.

The next day he told me he hoped I had learned my lesson and knew my place. Then he went to work. I booked the day off work, changed all the locks and threw two suitcases of his belongings into the street. Then I text him that it was over. He still tried to wheedle his way back, but I knew myself and my children deserved better.

@SirVixofVixHall

Most of these men belong in prison. What is wrong with men ?

With a bit of luck my bast-- will be jailed soon

Keeping everything crossed

All though they do know how to talk the talk and become the victim too 😢😢😢🤬

@subbysammiexoxo

just to add I went through years of beatings, violence, being the sole earner yet him demanding food on the table every night and the house immaculate, the stress of him not working and being aggressive resulted in a still birth in 2019, finally living apart from him for the first time in 5 years showed me he had such a hold on me, the sad part is 6 months on I'm too scared to start dating again

Don't rush into it, it'll take time.

I left my abusive ex after 30 years, and nearly 4 years later I'm just about ready to date. The time taken to heal myself has been worth it. I am no longer the person I was, I'm stronger.

I found a long blonde hair in a duvet cover that had just been washed. I asked if his ex had blonde hair. Of course the answer was yes. I just said 'so you slept with her recently? He was shocked but didn't lie. I just said 'Well that's us over isn't it' and left the next morning. My feelings for him just switched off because of the betrayal. I think he was really stunned that I didn't need him and could just walk away. He seemed to think I was so attached to him he could do what ever he liked.

When he asked me to sleep with him and a work colleague. I obviously declined and left 🥺

When I just wasn't arsed anymore, I felt nothing. Previously things had made me really angry, annoyed, upset, but one day I just didn't care at all. I felt indifferent, and that's when I knew it was time to leave. Lots of things leading up to that, many 'second' chances, glossing over things, not knowing my worth and that I didn't have to put up with that crap. It was scary but I am so so so happy now, my DH isn't perfect by any means, but the difference is night and day.

I was living on a yacht with a partner in the med 10 years ago, she brought another guy on to the yacht when I was back in uk for a few days. she denied anything had been going on but the guy turned up a few days later asking who I was, CF it was my boat. she went off out for the day shortly after, a quick trip to port office with boat papers, would have loved to have seen her face when she got back to the dock and found her belongings there and no yacht. didn't hear from her as I also reported her phone stolen as I left and cancelled the contract I was paying for.

@nottomgates . You are so strong.

When he refused to buy (or let me out to buy) sanitary towels. Then shouted at me for not going downstairs to talk to his mother. I was sitting on folded up bath towels on my bed to avoid making a mess.

Another ex - when I popped round but saw his ex wife through the window, moving back in.

Another ex - had been off with me for some time. One Sunday lunchtime, his son said, “did you take those videos back to Edwina’s?” (his ex before me).

He sat stunned then silently left the table. Goodness knows how long he had been unfaithful for.

(Obviously I discovered more later, but that was the split second that I knew).

When he was raging at me and screaming at God to make me listen to him, on his hands and knees on the floor, because I disagreed that all money saved should be given to him to buy more weed and also because he was angry that I hadn't booked and paid for the third round of marriage counselling, that he had said he wanted to arrange to show me he was making an effort. The two cats were woken up and terrified, ears back, looking for somewhere to hide, the dog was scared... I gathered them up and locked them and me in the bedroom for the night.

I've name changed for this, because it involves a set of circumstances that are very specific.

We needed a garden hose, so the kids and I were driving to the local town to buy one. I happened upon a truck that had gone off the road - the guy had had a heart attack, so obviously I stopped to see if I could help. Unfortunately the man died, and the police etc came and closed the road. Don't know how I drove home - the kids were very upset, and I couldn't stop shaking, crying and being sick. Phoned 'D'H at work to tell him what had happened and that the road was closed (so he could come a different way home), and all he asked was "Did you get the hose?". He didn't ask if the kids and I were okay. I realised at that moment, that it was because he didn't give a shit about us. Unfortunately, I thought it was my fault he felt like that (actually looking back, he made me believe it was my fault), and spent several more months trying to make things work. I gave up in the end and we split. He has since done things that have really shown him for who and what he is, and part of me wishes I hadn't stayed for as long as I did.

I have since met my DP, who is the complete opposite to 'D'H and who has shown me what it is like to be truly loved and cherished and cared for. And every day I think about that poor man who died, and how that one event opened my eyes to just how bad things were.

When I got a phone call from a man I didn't know asking whether I had x's phone number. He said he had been at her daughters wedding and when he saw my hubby in the photos he thought I might have her number.
H had been on a 'golfing weekend' and I didn't know this woman at all.
Turns out he had been having an affair and using golf as his excuse.This was confirmed later when one of the golf buddies asked me why he had stopped playing.

I SHOULD have left H number one when we were on a fabulous skiing holiday, which cost a lot of money, and when he opened his suitcase in the hotel he went mad because a pair of his socks was incorrectly paired (one navy and one black sock). He accused me of deliberately trying to sabotage his wonderful holiday and didn't let up for the whole week, even though we were there with members of his family and kept on in front of them. My holiday was certainly ruined.

The subtle controlling and belittling behaviour never did stop, but I stayed for too long after that.

Another thing to add. We were out for an evening at a friend's house when the wife asked me was I excited about the trip to NY and looking forward to the shopping. I had no idea what she was talking about.H regularly called at their house and had told them all about this trip, just not the fact that he was taking someone else!

He sounds as if he may be a narcissist so you’re well rid of him, they have no empathy and use/abuse people. Congrats on getting away from him

When he was cheating and messaging other women when i was pregnant and the kid's were little, spent 30k on fuck knows what and got into massive debt, kept begging me for money. Tried to control me, bullied me was just vile. I got myself a job, got my finances in order and kicked him out. Never regretted it

[quote Jalapinot]**@Staffy1* had to borrow a phone and ask my bestie's husband to pick me up. So humiliated. Got home before dawn and packed all my stuff and moved out while he slept. I may* have poured some double cream down the back of the radiator and cranked the heating up as I left. My handbag was in the hallway and he's taken £30 out of my purse too. [/quote]
Good idea with the double cream

He text me (whilst sat right in front of me) instead of his bit on the side by mistake telling her how he'd had a lovely night with his daughter and was just about to take her home - when we'd actually just had a 'romantic' night together without his child in site. Lies on top of lies.

Kicked him out, drove straight to the housing agent and put notice in on the house as I knew I would waiver if not, forged his signature on a letter giving notice and got rid of the f*cker. . . He went straight to hers that same day!

@MimiDaisy11

When in a supermarket, exhausted and just needing to get some food for dinner. I asked him to get some pasta sauce and I'd get some other items so we'd get out quicker. He said he couldn't do it as he didn't know what one to get. I said I didn't care, but he insisted he couldn't. Sounds really minor but it just made me realise how pathetic he was, and how I had to do everything.

It is so often the tiny, tiny things, isn't it?

Except it isn't. It's the accumulation of sh*te over time that is suddenly brought into sharp focus but a tiny, tiny thing.

Good for you for getting rid of him.

@ItJustKeepsGettingBetter

It broke my heart to read about your postpartum psychosis, and his total disregard not only for your welfare, but your precious baby's. Many others have harmed not only themselves but also their children when in this state. You've done so well to pull yourself out of it - illness and marriage.

Nasty cow that I am, I was wishing that at the height of your MH problem you had stabbed the bugger! (Nothing fatal - just let him have an idea of the pain you were going through). I doubt that any jury would have convicted you and you would have got help sooner. But again - well done finding the mental, emotional and physical strength to get yourself and child out of an intolerable situation.

It's not easy.

*mothers, not others