Stuff that works again and again in books and films but wouldn't happen in real life

[StealthPolarBear]

Terrorist attack? Biochemical attack? Pandemic? You (as president) need to bring in a maverick against the advice of all your advisors and anyone with half a brain.
If male, they must live in their mum's basement and wear band t shirts. If female, they must be hot and geeky, and maybe have a bit of a hazy past.
Go and put your feet up. Sorted.

Grabbing on to something with just your fingertips mid-fall. I've seen enough ninja warrior to know that shit rarely pans out.

Women waking up in bed with perfectly groomed hair, glowing skin and smouldering smokey eyes, clean pillowcases and perfectly pressed pyjamas - and don’t knock over the glass of water on the nightstand when they reach for their ringing phone

Part of the reason I found Isn't It Romantic funny was because it ripped the piss out of so many romantic comedy clichés (including the making plans to meet up but not confirming any pertinent details).

@purpledagger - you literally wrote my thoughts, it is so annoying and predictable isn’t it

@1Micem0use LOL 😂 soooo true

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

Sex - there's no 'left a bit, right a bit'. No funny noises. And no need for loo roll after the act.

Women who've left idiotic first husbands end up with them at the end of the film where husband is slightly less idiotic. In some cases the second husband dies heroically and wife barely sheds a tear before getting back with the man child.

2012 is the best example of this and is absolutely infuriating. It is such a common movie trope, the disaster that brings the mum and dad back together, much to the delight of the children (and there's never more than 2). 5 years after seperation I can now joke with my children that no matter what asteroid/alien invasion/landslide/tsunami happens, their Dad and I are never getting back togerher

I despise any kind of door knob drama.

we shouldn't have to wait for the character to almost leave a room before either they or the other person/people in the room pluck up the courage to throw in a "just one more thing" question or statement.

Oh you don't mean sleeve-caught-in-doorknob drama? That's very true to life.

@StealthPolarBear

Oh you don't mean sleeve-caught-in-doorknob drama? That's very true to life.

😁

or boob caught in door handle...very real

@Frazzledfranny

Credit cards that open doors by shoving them in the gap.

Chairs under door handles to stop the door opening

A piece of wire in the door lock to open it.

All I’ve which I’ve tried and never work ...

The credit card one can work if it's a door on a latch, but not if it's locked.... I once broke out of a room where the handle had fallen off the door using a credit card (and then spent the rest of the day listening to jokes about Glaswegians and our burglary skills from my colleagues, which I found downright ungrateful)

No one ever says bye at the end of a phone call

@Toottootdrivers

No one ever says bye at the end of a phone call

Or as we do in Ireland, says bye a minimum or 5 or 6 times in a row.... bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

Or as we do in Ireland, says bye a minimum or 5 or 6 times in a row.... bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

Add a few more byes on to that @theleafandnotthetree and you're bang on😂

Arranging a date with a stranger

'Do you fancy a drink?
Yeah love to
Great bye

Ok what time? Where? Day? How in earth do they know if they don't discuss it

Having everyones phone number/email address. Even your mortal enemy.

@BorderlineHappy

Or as we do in Ireland, says bye a minimum or 5 or 6 times in a row.... bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

Add a few more byes on to that @theleafandnotthetree and you're bang on😂

Or if you're like my mum its the que to start another conversation😂

Come home in the middle of the night, or even walk into someone else's house and don't turn on a single light.

I don’t understand the light thing. Do police never turn on lights in real life? I don’t mean when they’re trying to avoid being seen, but when they go into a crime scene and keep all the curtains closed and just use torches. Also in tv/films they do the most cursory search - the detective opens the bedside table drawer and - lo and behold - a clue!

the torch thing is to see dust disturbance and smudges/fingerprints on walls or hard surfaces. those are easier to see with flash lights than with normal room lighting. but that's in addition to having a look under normal light.

Women running flat out in heels and never once turning an ankle or falling flat on their faces. Women wearing heels at all times, regardless of the practicality of said footwear Jurassic World (I think?) I am looking at YOU.

One writer who got injury recovery time right was Dick Francis. Hero gets battered by the baddies early on, feels crappy with an horrendous headache for at least a day after he comes round and hobbles about in pain for quite a lot of the book while the cracked ankle or broken ribs heal. But he was a jump jockey so knew a thing or two about getting injured.

No foreplay EVER! It's just snog snog SHAG. It's especially annoying when the woman is over 40. Er, no, hold your horses sunshine, it'll take a bit more than that to gain entry. Rude.

is it too late to add having a convo about something secret in public and no one is nosy or overhears classified stuff? and characters easily acquiring fake Ids/new identities I wouldn't even know where to start with that one.