Stuff that works again and again in books and films but wouldn't happen in real life

[StealthPolarBear]

Terrorist attack? Biochemical attack? Pandemic? You (as president) need to bring in a maverick against the advice of all your advisors and anyone with half a brain.
If male, they must live in their mum's basement and wear band t shirts. If female, they must be hot and geeky, and maybe have a bit of a hazy past.
Go and put your feet up. Sorted.

@Timeforabiscuit 😬

Software works flawlessly,

It is usually developed right up to the wire, with no, absolutely no testing & integration required and is productionised / rolled out at the touch of a button from the single developer ...

and miraculously works first time.

In Prometheus one character gives herself a cesarian with a machine designed for a male body
Without anaesthetic. She then hops out puts on a tight spacesuit and runs off to fight

After both my c-sections I couldn’t even go to the loo without help

It's forgivable that a lot of RL is left out of films, screenwriter William Goldman wrote about this, eg there's always a parking space near where the action is.
But where do billionaire megalomaniacs recruit all those gun toting henchmen in pseudo-uniforms to die in his attempt at world domination from?
In cop dramas phone calls, from the station or family, only ever come at inopportune moments. There is only one main investigator, their home life is complicated and the needs of their job always comes as an unwelcome surprise to their family...

In vampire/zombie/werewolf films no-one ever says "how odd, those mysterious bite marks on their necks are exactly like in a vampire film haha."etc Even if people didnt seriously consider it as a possibility you would expect someone to make a reference to this very well know genre? Rather than remarking on the mysterious bite marks/dead seemingly coming to life etc but NEVER ONCE making any comparison.

One thing that bugs me as it’s clearly normalised in America is people (Generally in more rural areas) driving to bars, drinking enough to be really quite impaired, and then driving home. Rarely do we see the barman taking keys off someone, that tends to only be when the a character is a known alcoholic.

...and their friends quite happy to get in the car with them!

Also - in a film if you are thrown together with a somewhat annoying member of the opposite sex and you dont hit it of immediately, its almost guaranteed you will be madly in love with them at the end. In real life they are more likely to remain Dave, your slightly annoying colleague.

Especially if they spill coffee on you and you are a career driven woman on your way to an important meeting and they are some small town guy who thinks you need to take it more easy. Actually Fuck of Dave and stop wierdly interferring in my life. No meeting your quirky loving parents and extended family in some contrived plot twist isnt going to make me see you differently.

Getting parking right outside the place you're going.
Women who get sick in films are pregnant.
The maverick cop gets paired with the one detective about to retire.

And the one that gets on my wick the most.
Person has realised who the killer is,rings detective and arranges to meet at some ungodly hour in the middle of nowhere.

Why,why would you do that,just tell them while on the phone to them.

@newnortherner111

No woman gets pregnant by unprotected sex and no STIs are ever transmitted.

Unless she's a teenager or shagging someone inappropriate, in which case pregnancy is guaranteed. Correct about the stds though

If you're parked up waiting to follow someone, both your cars will be pointing in the right direction, never any need to turn round.

The followed never notices the follower, even on an empty street at 3am

Baddies always confess in detail what/where/when/how/why before death or arrest

when the good guy/geek is hacking into a computer there is always a rotating 3d image on the screen like some 1980's plumbing video game

All these young women swooning over James Bond ( I am excluding Daniel C. and early Sean Connery)
As if any twenty five year old would jump onto bed with that leathery old sex-pest !

Anyone who sneezes in a TV show/movie then gets the flu/plague/death. No one seems to just sneeze because they needed to sneeze.

There are always massive air-conditioning conduits above the ceiling tiles.. and plans of these are published on-line.

Also, running away from explosions!

If you get to park your car exactly outside a venue, then we always refer to that as “television parking”

DM’s disabled badge is a great facilitator of television parking!

Couples who have had sex and spent the night together wearing underwear in the morning when they get up.

Gerrard Butler will always be on hand to save the day. With his terrible Sean Connery Style accent. This is who we should have brought in to stop Covid.

Building plans!

Every largish building, always digitised, highly detailed and easily available with electrical, drainage and airducts to boot!

Jump into car and speed off instantly, no faffing about with keys or safety belts.

Dive into water and emerge perfectly coiffed and made up.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

You might enjoy this m.youtube.com/watch?v=8vNJ5Krj7SQ

If Covid were a movie, 90% of the population would be dead in the first two days but the human race would be saved by some hot guy beavering away in a lab for a week, assisted by some equally hot female in a lab coat. This would involve a lot of mansplaining, she would offer to test the resulting therapy on herself but he would be too noble to let her.

They would be the only people to realise that
A. It’s a manmade mutation
B. All the other labs in the world are heading down the wrong therapeutic path.

However they would overcome all obstacles within the week, including scale-up of whatever therapy they’d find and use a helicopter to spray the survivors.
Last scene is fade to snog between scientist and assistant.

Everyone can type incredibly quickly and no one makes a typo.

Oh and my favourite ever is that the aliens in Independence Day use exactly the same software as earthlings.