Stuff that works again and again in books and films but wouldn't happen in real life

[StealthPolarBear]

Terrorist attack? Biochemical attack? Pandemic? You (as president) need to bring in a maverick against the advice of all your advisors and anyone with half a brain.
If male, they must live in their mum's basement and wear band t shirts. If female, they must be hot and geeky, and maybe have a bit of a hazy past.
Go and put your feet up. Sorted.

@BorderlineHappy

In Horror films,they hear a noise and investigate the attic or basement Why?? I'd be gone out that door so fast

and they always call out "hello? is there anyone there?"

you bloody idiot, you've just confirmed your location and that you are clueless. you deserve to die

People pack up and move countries with a suitcase and no one ever needs a visa.

So many women having sex with a bra on.

Cops who shout "Oy!" or similar at suspicious people, thus alerting them to the cops' presence and giving them a head start. Why wouldn't you keep quiet until they were within reach? It couldn't possibly be because it would deprive the programme of a supposedly thrilling chase, could it?

People storm out throwing a few things in a suitcase.

If I go on a weekend break I can hardly lift up my case... well, that’s six pairs of pants, two bras, sponge bag, three outfits.... what if it rains, oh, and a warmer jumper... wait, that doesn’t go with those trousers...

Plus even if they have two full suitcases the tiniest woman can walk up two flights of stairs with them no problem.

People who decide suddenly that they're going to leave their jobs and have left with everyone's blessing by the end of the day. HR and their managers never seem to be in the least bothered that they've given no notice and left their colleagues in the lurch.

Ditto when the vacancy is suddenly filled by someone the manager already knows or who happens to be temping to fill in the gap, with zero by way of a fair selection procedure, taking up references, safeguarding checks etc.

Casualty/Holby, I'm looking at you.

@Triphazards

In the 1970s, any police officer who was two days from retirement was doomed!

Ditto in WW1 and 2, any soldier who took out pictures of his family was never going to see them again.

People hang up the phone without saying bye or see you later. They just pause and both know that the conversation has come to an end and both hang up.

@eddiemairswife

All women are ready for instant sex.

Tbf if Matt Damon flung me up a wall it wouldn't take too long for me to get to gas mark 7.

Characters asking, after sex: How was it for you?

Seriously? If you have to ask...

Characters asking, often after sex: What are you thinking?

I've got through 65+ years without ever asking either of those questions. Or being asked them.

if there's a large fish tank visible at any time, however briefly, you just know it's gonna get shot to shit later.
it's inevitable

If they ever go up a series of ladders or metal staircases, you know someone is going to fall from a great height.

@Triphazards

If they ever go up a series of ladders or metal staircases, you know someone is going to fall from a great height.

Your username suggests this may be a concern for you

Drivers have to look directly at their passengers while talking drives me mad. Keep your eyes in the road!

@TheWeeDonkey

Drivers have to look directly at their passengers while talking drives me mad. Keep your eyes in the road!

And they keep turning the steering wheel an inch in each dircetion , never look in the mirror or change gear !.

People waking up in hospital and just ripping their IVs out of their veins

In the soap operas, whenever two people of opposite sex sit on the same sofa, they have surprise adulterous intercourse.

Characters asking, often after sex: What are you thinking?

I've got through 65+ years without ever asking either of those questions. Or being asked them.

To be fair, DH keeps asking me what I think randomly, it's some sort of silence-filler. I usually tell him that I don't think.

@Zzelda

Characters asking, often after sex: What are you thinking?

I've got through 65+ years without ever asking either of those questions. Or being asked them.

To be fair, DH keeps asking me what I think randomly, it's some sort of silence-filler. I usually tell him that I don't think.

"I don't think: I know..."

Characters asking, after sex: How was it for you?

simultaneous orgasms.That is all.

In one of the action thrillers DH likes to watch, the hero had a punctured lung and was on the floor drowning in his own blood. One of his mates arrives, takes instant command of the situation, whips out a massive syringe and drains the lung through his chest wall. Hero jumps to his feet, thanks his mate and dashes off to defeat the gang of criminals he was fighting.

Are you saying you'd need antibiotics and post surgical recovery time? Ya wimp!

Antibiotics, rib extraction... maybe even a little low-down?

Bloody lie-down!

That's what's wrong with people today, no stamina. You should be able to get shot in the head and chest, grit your teeth and get on with it

Nobody knows Inspector Morse's first name (until it's finally revealed). Wouldn't he have had to state it every time he gave evidence in Court? "Endeavour Morse, Chief Inspector Thames Valley Police attached to Oxford Police Station."