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Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed by peoples lack of motivation in life?

223 replies

Mindfulmummy1 · 25/04/2021 22:18

I am a single parent and live alone with my 3 yr old, I have recently moved to a new neighbourhood in a nice area (through a local housing association).

I'm working extremely hard and have managed to make a big step up in a career I've been pursuing for a very long time. I am very ambitious but I am very hard on myself too.

I understand that not everybody wants the same things in life, but am I being unreasonable to be annoyed at the lack of motivation people have for life in general? Everybody around me is unemployed, living on benefits, would rather spend their whole weekend drinking. I don't know if my opinions are unpopular, but everybody around me seems to be so lazy, has no drive, no ambitions etc., What is wrong with people?

I want to give my child the best possible life, every weekend were up and out early and exploring. Does anybody else see this constantly around themselves?

OP posts:
notangelinajolie · 25/04/2021 23:44

YABU
Hard for you to believe I know but some people are quite content in their lives.

wingsnthat · 25/04/2021 23:44

Of course it’s “thrown around an awful lot”. We’re in a global pandemic and many people have been negatively affected. I mean, it’s pretty dense to ignore such a salient fact.

What will your kid turn out like if this is who her mum is? It seems like you’re not going to teach her good values - the blind leading the blind. Ew.

sweetclems · 25/04/2021 23:45

@TashieWoo

Clearly not so ambitious when you got knocked up in an unstable relationship... also my taxes are paying for your accommodation so don’t be so smug until you are self sufficient!
She's paying her rent
DumplingsAndStew · 25/04/2021 23:46

So what happened to your daughter?

PickAChew · 25/04/2021 23:47

Yabu and lying through your teeth.

Original poster
Mindfulmummy1 · 25/04/2021 23:49

@wingsnthat I teach my child very good values, and spend a lot of quality time together. But like any parent alongside her happiness, I do teach her to follow her dreams and to have ambition and guide her on the right path to fuel her purpose and passion in life. Theres defintley nothing wrong with that

OP posts:
Original poster
Mindfulmummy1 · 25/04/2021 23:50

@PickAChew lying through my teeth?

OP posts:
YouokHun · 25/04/2021 23:50

[quote Mindfulmummy1]@Clevererthanyou There's nothing wrong with self-love and being in a good place in your life! I don't understand why people feel threatened when somebody recognises their self-worth[/quote]
But you appear to be assessing your worth by deciding that others who are not the same as you have less worth. You are being very simplistic and generalising. You have absolutely no idea what others have to deal with or what their personal limitations, choices or goals are. You sound like you’ve been listening to dodgy “success” coaching podcasts which tend to sell a simplistic idea of what success and happiness is, the latter being a secret that can be yours for a certain price. You’ve not signed up to an MLM have you?

If you truly want to get on in life you’ll get there quicker if you stop rating other people. Your self love needs an equal measure of self awareness if you really want to get on.

wingsnthat · 25/04/2021 23:53

What will you do if any of your children experience a mental health crisis themselves? Presumably you will just tell them to man up then as you’ve said as much on here. You clearly think those with mental health problems are a drain on society

saraclara · 25/04/2021 23:56

People who are confident and who have self-esteem don't need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves.

Exactly.

Original poster
Mindfulmummy1 · 25/04/2021 23:57

@YouokHun I'm not sure what an MLM is? No one not listening to any of those dodgy podcasts, I've listened to those in my field around me, who have taken a long time (most of their professional lives) to get to where they are.

Listen, I'm happy with my life, I have great family and great friends, a busy social life at the weekends, I work part time so I have quality time with my DD. Theres nothing wrong with being hungry and passionate for the career that I am in. I am a single parent so do have to work twice as hard, I want to show my DD that she too can follow their dreams. So many people seem to get offended and call this 'big headed', but I've built my self esteem and I am happy where I am and also where I am headed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mindfulmummy1 · 26/04/2021 00:00

@wingsnthat I've experience mental health first hand with a close family member and I wouldnt wish it on anybody. I just find that it's a phrase especially with Gen Z's to throw around very easily without understanding the true nature.

OP posts:
YouokHun · 26/04/2021 00:01

You don’t have to convince us you have a great life. You asked if you were being unreasonable to be irritated by other people having different values to you. The answer to that is in the comments above.

Northernsoullover · 26/04/2021 00:03

Hmm Hmm, I suggest you do some reading into inequality.

Myphone · 26/04/2021 00:05

You are lucky that you don’t have a housing association flat that is riddled with damp, the type of damp that gets in to childrens lungs and causes repeat chest infections. In and out of hospital. Imagine having to take repeated weeks off your successful career to care for your child? Missing training sessions. Missed deadlines. Colleagues pissed off at carrying your load. Someone more ‘ambitious’ and reliable than you getting promoted.

You seem in a lucky position, not so, mindful Mummy.

sweetclems · 26/04/2021 00:05

I think I get where you're coming from OP. I see it in the threads about how much people are earning and their goal income and I'm surprised how many people say they're earning minimum wage and they're happy. I don't believe it tbh and if they're being truthful then I don't understand it. And the reason I don't understand it is because I've been there struggling to get by and it's a Fucking shit way to live worrying about Christmas, counting every penny up as you go round the supermarket... it's shit. However there are people who are struggling like this through no fault of their own and I'm not talking about them... I'm talking about the people who say they're earning a pittance and that's how they like it... bull shit, I think those people have given up/don't feel like they'll achieve more and it's easier for them to just say/believe that's what they wanted

Bellyups · 26/04/2021 00:07

You sound incredibly judgmental and really quite ignorant OP.
FYI, with regards to your comment that you are self sufficient and live in social housing...did you know that all social housing is heavily subsidised?
I have worked in both social and private housing sectors. Social housing has huge reduced rate in rent. Just compare yourself. Please don’t judge others

lolacola77 · 26/04/2021 00:08

You're not goady are you? I bet they've all got massive tellies as well

ExhaustedFlamingo · 26/04/2021 00:10

Might start a new thread myself:

AIBU to be annoyed by people being so judgemental when they're not exactly perfect themselves?

wingsnthat · 26/04/2021 00:13

@Mindfulmummy1 then you should be understanding that if merely surviving is all someone can do, that’s okay. They don’t need to match your idea of success.

I mean, it’s not even like your life is even that successful for you to be judging others. There’s many people the same age as you, doing better than you. There’s people younger than you that are more successful than you. Humble yourself because not everyone agrees with your own decisions.

YouokHun · 26/04/2021 00:18

And your experience of poor mental health in one of your family members means that you understand it’s true nature via this one experience which in turn qualifies you to dismiss others’ mental health concerns? Again, very much a generalisation about others.

Inextremis · 26/04/2021 00:18

You're coming across a bit Katie Hopkins, OP - might want to work on that!

lemmein · 26/04/2021 00:19

@Inextremis

You're coming across a bit Katie Hopkins, OP - might want to work on that!
I was just about to say the same Grin
Original poster
Mindfulmummy1 · 26/04/2021 00:20

@sweetclems absolutely!! I'm not earning a great deal at the moment, and in the past living off minimum wage cannot make you happy. I understand that money cannot buy you happiness, but it can buy you a better quality of life. And maybe for wanting my DD to have a good quality of life is shallow to some on these boards, but I believe being a hard working role model is one of the great things parents can pass on to their child.

@Myphone i work part time for a reason as my child always comes first. Another reason I work till midnight most nights, while shes in bed so my weekends and after school I can give her my quality time.

OP posts:
RiverSkater · 26/04/2021 00:21

OP you are not only judgemental but prejudiced based on a group of assumptions you have made about people living in certain circumstances. Which is very unkind.

Do you know the details of what goes on behind the doors of each of those families/ individual households? NO?

Then keep your holier than thou attitude to yourself. I really hope you don't walk your neighbourhood with a smirk on your face? Not everybody is cut to the same cloth and some people have been dealt more challenging hand of cards, quite different to yours. How about you get to know people before making those assumptions?

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