AIBU to be annoyed by peoples lack of motivation in life?

[Mindfulmummy1]

I am a single parent and live alone with my 3 yr old, I have recently moved to a new neighbourhood in a nice area (through a local housing association).

I'm working extremely hard and have managed to make a big step up in a career I've been pursuing for a very long time. I am very ambitious but I am very hard on myself too.

I understand that not everybody wants the same things in life, but am I being unreasonable to be annoyed at the lack of motivation people have for life in general? Everybody around me is unemployed, living on benefits, would rather spend their whole weekend drinking. I don't know if my opinions are unpopular, but everybody around me seems to be so lazy, has no drive, no ambitions etc., What is wrong with people?

I want to give my child the best possible life, every weekend were up and out early and exploring. Does anybody else see this constantly around themselves?

I’m struggling to see how this affects you. Perhaps I’m just not motivated enough.

Err, wasted taxes perhaps?

Althpugh you are veing judgemental, OP. Someone else might judge you for having a HA house.

I just don't understand why people haven't got drive and motivation

Long term unemployment does nothing for self esteem. Nor does working in minimum wages jobs, where unfortunately you are one of hundreds competing for the same low paid job, which will never leave to promotion.
Why work for pennies when you don’t need to?

Now I’m not saying it’s right, but the way jobs are at the moment and since minimum wage appeared, there’s less motivation to work.

@VodselForDinner the difference is that this is not my destination, its a stepping stone to leaving an abusive relationship and climbing the ladder in a successful sector.

I have drive and dreams but not at all in terms of selling my labour and time. Bit cheeky of you to try to badmouth the ‘type’ of people you’re referring to when you’re dependent on others to house and fund you to a degree.

I'm a single parent in a council house too.

Worked my whole life, then got furloughed, then got cancer, and now have a disability that has left me unable to work. I guess you would just see me as an unmotivated person though. Some days I struggle to get out of bed.

I guess you would be too busy looking down your nose at me to actually listen to the reasons why I can no longer work.

so I am definitely not judging anyone

Your whole post is judging people.

@Carbara I'm not dependant on others to 'fund' me as I am financially independent now.

I do kind of get what you mean, when you're on a different trajectory to those around you, they are happy where they are and you are not and make changes it can be quite a lonely place and you can wonder why it is that they are happy in that place and you are not. Well, the loneliness is why. Most people don't want to risk the little they have in the pursuit of something more. They don't want to leave their local areas in pursuit of work or study opportunities. They are too scared to take big risks in case it doesn't pay off. I have seen this a lot in my life. The road out of poverty is a narrow lonely one, you have to be brave and you have to be resilient and you have to not be afraid of breaking away from what you know and being lonely. They would rather have a garden full of people to drink with than risk being alone and in a good career. It is not worth the feelings of being left out and different, of being other. It is not worth the early mornings and the sacrifices and the relentless self criticism. They would rather enjoy the moment and cut themselves some slack. They choose familiarity and the known for the unfamiliar and unknown, even if the unfamiliar and unknown may be better! Better the devil you know.

Isn’t social housing subsidised- so you are funded by others ( and I say this as someone who lived in a Housing Association flat and was extremely grateful at the time for a nice flat at a cheaper rent)

I'm seriously not judging anybody, as some of you have pointed out I'm a single parent with a HA house so maybe I can be judged very harshly by others. Apart from being hard on myself 'at times' because I have goals and ambitions and dreams' I am very happy I have a very good life.
People want to work and for reasons outside of their control they cannot so I am not judging. However, I am curious to know why those people who have scope to go further don't

You are judging- you are saying that other people lack motivation. At one point that could have been aimed at me as I worked in jobs that I was over qualified for, but that was just one phase of my life.

However I didn’t ‘become annoyed’ because some of my friends were on benefits.

I'm also a single parent and don't particularly feel like I have a lot of drive and ambition. I've been self employed for 10+ years that just about makes me enough money to live on (before covid, anyway) and I have no desire to work full time and earn more money, I would rather be at home with DD, be able to do the school runs and all the school holidays. I have poor mental health and if I clean my house and get a couple hours of work done, that's a good day for me. You don't know anyone elses circumstances and your OP makes you sound a bit judgemental unfortunately.

I’m amazed that your head fits through your front door to go exploring on the weekend frankly op.

I am curious to know why those people who have scope to go further don't

Look, great that you’re trying to improve yourself and all, but by most people’s definition, you haven’t gone all that far at all.

That’s fine, you’re on a “journey” but you, like many people, are one pay cheque/relationship/illness away from a difficult situation.

Maybe try not to be so smug on your way up, eh?

I'm happy with what I've got. I don't need more and more.

You see lack of ambition, I see contentment.

I honestly dont understand extremely motivated people. I just think everything is mostly shit and not worth the hassle

@Clevererthanyou There's nothing wrong with self-love and being in a good place in your life! I don't understand why people feel threatened when somebody recognises their self-worth

@Mindfulmummy1

I am not for one minute saying my life is perfect, I am not judging anybody as I rent a council house yes its in a lovely area and is a brand new build. As a single parent I have struggled tremendously (and still do) but I keep pushing through. I have done lots of self development over the past year (as I came from a bad place - so I am definitely not judging anyone) but I am just curious as to why attitudes and outlooks are generally, on the whole quite negative towards careers, and their futures etc.

am I being unreasonable to be annoyed at the lack of motivation people have for life in general? Everybody around me is unemployed, living on benefits, would rather spend their whole weekend drinking. I don't know if my opinions are unpopular, but everybody around me seems to be so lazy, has no drive, no ambitions etc., What is wrong with people?

Nope. Not judgy at all. Not even a little bit.

This kind of attitude will be very damaging to a child. I wouldn't see how you live your life as any kind of "success" tbh.

@VodselForDinner I haven't stated what I do professionally, so by 'peoples definition?' I'm not quite sure how you are subjectively measuring success

I just don't understand why people haven't got drive and motivation.

What people @Mindfulmummy1? The people in the place that you live? That's hardly indicative for everywhere is it? It's certainly not like that where I live. Maybe you need to move to somewhere that the people meet your approval.

You see lack of ambition, I see contentment.

Some people will never be content @whiteroseredrose, they always want more of everything. My first DH was very much like that; always looking how to 'better' what we had even though if he'd stopped to enjoy it, he would have realised that we had a whole lot. I didn't want a bigger car or another fancy holiday, I wanted my husband's company.

Hard upbringing, abuse, unfortunate life circumstances, mental illness, physical illness...not that hard to imagine how some people struggle to be as ambitious or active as you think they should be. Yes there are some people who just don't care about anything but there are loads of people who, if given a chance earlier in life/ had a bit of luck, would be in a different position to where they are. So much in life depends on luck - down to your parents/ where you grew up and along to knowing someone who got you a job/ being lucky to be at top of housing waiting list (you could be rammed in a damp, top floor flat somewhere with bad transport links, no local amenities and no driving license to help you get out and about early on exploring with your toddler). You do seem to be feeling superior to others - not a good place to be. Lots of people are victims of circumstance and can't see a way out.

@TashieWoo I'm sure your comment is not going to be popular with others on these boards who have suffered in an abusive relationship