Can you really love someone else kid?

[SeekingSomethin]

I’m seeking the harsh truth... I genuinely don’t feel like my OH has truly accepted or loved my child from my previous marriage.

Am I expecting too much? Can you just not love someone else’s child like your own?

I won’t be mad - please hit me with the harsh truth. I just want to know as if that’s the case then maybe I should stop expecting so much from him.

@AnneLovesGilbert yes, it didn’t go down very well. I feel lighter already though x

He’s a bully and they don’t like being stood up to.

More proof you’ve done right by yourself and your child.

Yes. You definitely can. I've got 2 I love as my own. And 2 of my own, so I know! DH said very recently he feels the same.

@UpdateMate you are very fortunate x

@AnneLovesGilbert I used the term bully funnily enough

SeekingSomethin our situation is very different to yours. The 2 children are not either mine or DHs children. I don't think lucky is an appropriate word for our circumstances, but I know what you mean.

@UpdateMate sorry I meant in the sense that you have loved them as your own x

@SeekingSomethin popping back to say congrats! Hope you and DC are happier and enjoy your freedom together.

[quote SeekingSomethin]@Namechange1067949 what you said is familiar, if me and OH are having a conversation and DC tries to get involved he shuts DC down or won’t even acknowledge what DC is saying[/quote]
You moved your boyfriend in to your child’s home and this sort of shit is forming your kids childhood, that’s not acceptable. Why not date your boyfriend if you find him so appealing and get him out of your child’s house? The focus and priority should obviously be on your kid, not what your shitty boyfriend thinks/says. My parent put boyfriends before me, in an already disastrous childhood, and I don’t bother with her now. Reap what you sow. Think carefully.

Oh good, get him out, he can fuck off and flounce on someone else’s property. Never tolerate such low quality male again, there’s 8 billion humans on the planet, no need to bring garbage into your house again.

@Carbara agree with everything you said x

@Lazierdays thank you, so far so good x

I’m an adoptive parent. I absolutely love my dc unconditionally. No more or no less than my own dc.

I have a great relationship with my SC and have a lot of affection for them. I don’t “love” them though.

Of course you can love a child you aren’t biologically related.

If someone doesn’t love them that isn’t a reason it an excuse to treat them poorly.

Of course you can. Otherwise adoption wouldn't work.

I love my Godson but it was made very clear that when I was no longer friends with his DM her expectation was that I would never see him again.

I think you have to be realistic. But if he's living with you and your child he needs to be a bigger part of their life.

My best friend died a number of years ago. Her daughter was always my daughter’s best friend. I love her very much.,

It surely depends on the kid and temperament.

I could, if the kid temperament and mine were compatible, same as an adult really.

I feel that I love my nieces. I love spending time with them, miss them when I don't see them and like looking at photos of them.

However I don't have my own children so nothing to compare it to. I suspect that I do not feel what a mother would feel for their own children.

My dad did. He met my half sister when she was 11 and took it steady. He said one of his proudest moments when she asked if she could call him dad. He walked her down the aisle and truly loved her. And she did him.

Ah you did the right thing. My dp is very good with my dc - often find him cuddled up with dd watching tv, making mud pies or having his make up done(!)
However there is less interaction with ds but that's the kind of kid he is. He's much more of a quiet kid and likes to be by himself.

Doesn't mean dp ignores him tho. They still get on and have a laugh or go cycling etc.

I do think it's important for a partner to make an effort with the kids

DP has a son who is 16 and I love him to bits, he's such a good lad and we get on brilliantly.

Absolutely. You can. You’re not expecting too much.