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Original poster

If you were looking for a new partner tomorrow how many children/mother’s would be your limit?

202 replies

UseMyName · 08/04/2021 22:58

Mine would be max 2 children from 1 mother.

Would not be able to deal with more than 1 ex and set of childcare arrangements.

OP posts:
Original poster
UseMyName · 08/04/2021 23:16

@AlohaMolly

I would also never have another partner if I split with DP. Maybe the occasional casual sex but otherwise I’d never engage with the opposite sex meaningfully again.
I think this too - but I know realistically I probably would want to meet someone.

Interesting how many people say 0 I wasn’t expecting that!

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 08/04/2021 23:17

I am old enough to only be interested in someone with older teens or adult children. Same age as my own. From 1 ex-partner. I have no desire for another relationship but dating a man with children with multiple exes would be very offputting.

00100001 · 08/04/2021 23:19

The guys I know who have kids from more than one woman, are shit dads

Tone guy, let's call him Alex, has 3 kids from 3 partners. Kid 1 and 2 he doesn't see at all. kid 3, he would Disney Dad them, and then he hasn't seen them since they were 7, because he decided randomly to move to the ithe raid did the country.

Another guy has 3 kids from 2 mother's, and only sees the first child. Doesn't bother with the last 2.

My neighbour has 5 kids from 2 mother's. None of which live with him, he does see them,but not regularly. One set come and stay for about 3 days every few months. And I know he moans about the .other of the other set, because "she's wringing him dry, having to pay for the kids shoes etc".

And somehow he's found himself another woman, who's due to give birth this summer...

I don't actually know how these guys find so many women, sure that many kids and fuck off to the next one... Confused

NameChangedForThisFeb21 · 08/04/2021 23:20

Exceptions made for a widower.

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 08/04/2021 23:23

0 I’ve never wanted children of my own and certainly don’t want someone else’s.

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 08/04/2021 23:25

0 under 21ish. DS is 15 and while the teen years are of course challenging, I love the freedom. There is no way in hell I'd want to step parent a younger child.

ShurelyNot · 08/04/2021 23:30

I've got a young adult stepdaughter from my marriage. Still get on well with her and see her a few times a year. I've got 2 kids of my own from that marriage and have subsequently had 2 post marriage relationships (the second one still ongoing) where the blokes have got kids.

I have met some lovely children through my relationships with their dads. I wouldn't ever say "no kids" if I found myself single again.

What I have learnt is that I absolutely have a hard stop where there is any form of conflict with the ex. That's my demand. If that relationship is toxic, I don't want to know. Swipe on by. The kids themselves aren't the issue. It's the adults surrounding them that generally dictate whether life is pleasant or not. My last boyfriend's ex is the reason why I now have that particular boundary in place. She was vile.

Trixie78 · 08/04/2021 23:35

None, I've always had that rule when dating.

ChronicallyCurious · 08/04/2021 23:36

0, but I’m young. I imagine my answer to that question would be different if I was quite a bit older because I’d probably have less to chose from Grin

My Mum is in her 40’s having newly divorced my Dad and is dating for the first time in many years and has said whilst she wishes to find someone who doesn’t have kids the reality is there isn’t very many her age around!

EasterBunny21 · 08/04/2021 23:36

Possibly 1 but how they co-parented and got on with the ex would be something I’d really need to study. I’m thinking of a specific man here tbf.

This is such an interesting thread because so quickly on here people are told to LTB but in reality a single woman of motherhood age who is then looking for a relationship is going to be ‘meeting’ men who have children from previous relationships and it’s obvious from this thread that it’s a big no no for most. Understandably!

Woodlandbelle · 08/04/2021 23:37

...

Itsacakebaby · 08/04/2021 23:40

0
Couldn't be arsed with any of that!!

Madwife123 · 08/04/2021 23:41

For me it would depend on the relationship with those children. I would rather date a brilliant parent to 4 kids that supports their children than a parent to 1 kid that they never see.

N4ish · 08/04/2021 23:43
  1. Think being part of a blended family is too complicated and I would always want to prioritise my own DCs needs. Fully accept that may mean I stay single if my current relationship were to end.
OnePotato2Potato · 08/04/2021 23:43

I’m surprised at the number of posters who said 0!

BackforGood · 08/04/2021 23:48

For me it would depend on the relationship with those children. I would rather date a brilliant parent to 4 kids that supports their children than a parent to 1 kid that they never see.

This ^

I too am surprised how many are just saying 0
I mean, whereas that makes life a lot easier, it is quite a final demand, when there are a whole lot of single parents out there who can be single parents for a whole myriad of reasons. I wouldn't group every single parent into one judged group.

Extremelyilluminated · 08/04/2021 23:49

Tricky isn’t it though. Because a man without kids seems kind of optimal, but if you have kids yourself it could be tricky expecting a new partner who has never had children to eventually ‘fit’ into your family if things got serious. So I’ll go for one kid, one mother (who has remarried blissfully and holds no animosity, and has been adequately financially supported by her ex).

LookAChicken · 08/04/2021 23:49

Zero or independent, adult kids.

Sstrongtn · 08/04/2021 23:51

God this makes me sad, because I assume the answer is the same way the other way around.

I have 3 children, 6 and up. So by this logic (and I’ve been told in real life), I can write off anyone caring about me and any emotional attachment. That’s just awful.

LookAChicken · 08/04/2021 23:51

I think my reasoning is that I'd probably rather stay single anyway so the less stress the better chance of making a go of it!

DoTheRightThing11 · 08/04/2021 23:54

I understand everyone is entitled to their own opinions on how many children (although seemingly the consensus is none!) yet I don;t understand people WITH children that only want a partner without children? Assuming these men without children are far more understanding!

I am with pp who said it would be down to how they co parented with ex partner. If you're stuck with a difficult ex it severely impacts your life. Other than that I would be a hypocrite to say they weren't allowed any but had to accept mine!

Also need to think about the likelihood they would want their own children if they didn't already have any and I am definitely finished. Not withstanding someone who has had no experience round kids might find it difficult adapting to the level of responsibility we parents have in our day to day life.

HairyPits · 08/04/2021 23:54

Zero!!!
No kids of my own and absolutely no interest in dealing with someone else’s. With the dramas that come from ex-partners, the expenses, the restrictions that kids bring.......

Sstrongtn · 08/04/2021 23:54

I really think those posters saying “I’d stay single” have absolutely no clue how lonely that can be.

I’m happily single, I’m ok on my own, but it can be devastating to think you’re going to have to either have casual sex or never have physical contact again.

User5747384 · 08/04/2021 23:55

I would think none.
But I might considering dating an older man with older kids at a distance.

Homehaircuts · 08/04/2021 23:56

None. No more kids for me never mind step kids

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