If you are one of three children...

[Onetwo3456]

...do you feel you had the attention and resources you needed from your parents, and are you glad to have your siblings or not?

That sounds hard anyoldtime, we just don't have any issues like that so any upset is usually quickly and easily solved.

No, three is always a crowd. And my siblings are arseholes which doesn’t help.

Yes and yes! I wish I could have had 3 dc but dh said no 2 is enough

I’m eldest of three and only girl. It was pretty annoying while growing up but I like their wives and children now so it paid off I guess!

I would say that the youngest was ridiculously babied and still is even though he’s a grown man with children of his own. I do catch myself sometimes being resentful of the massive soaking up of emotional and material resources that still happens. I’m not sure that’s to do with us having been a 3 though!

I'm the youngest of 3 and the only girl. DM was a SAHM, DF worked in a 9-5 job and mostly came home for lunch too so I think we all had plenty of parent's time. Although back then we were the 'go out all day with your friends generation' so didn't really bother our parents much. Don't remember DB's being particularly close to each other (and still aren't) - I was close to both of them a different times - DB2 as we used to hang out in the same group of friends, DB1 never really joined in with that being that little bit older but as he was 8 years older than me, later on he was driving and working whilst still living at home so would take me on days out.

DH is also the youngest of 3 (all boys) but he was the 'accident ' so there's 10 years between him and his brothers - and only 22 months between 1& 2. That said 1&2 have never been close as they are very different people. DH had lots of his parents attention as he spent much of his childhood as an only child as both his DBs left home at 18.

I think we'd both say we had reasonably happy childhoods. We had 2 DCs - i did say I wanted 3 but DC 1 was severely disabled and DC 2 was a handful who was later diagnosed as having ASD so a 3rd would certainly have suffered from lack of time in this house. I'm a little sad for DC2 as they have never experienced a proper sibling relationship but know that a 3rd was not the right thing for our family.

No. I'm the middle child and was largely ignored and the family scapegoat.

I am eldest of 5 but there was no pill then, I loved being the eldest but there was never enough money, Dad had to work away to make enough money for basics, too many children for mum to give equal attention to, it all went on the current youngest, but things were different in the 50s

Yes and yes!

I'm the eldest and growing up there was only me and db1. I was 16 (almost 17) and db1 was 14 when db2 was born so we didn't have the usual sibling relationship.

I have 3 dc but ds1 was 8 when dd was born and then he was 10 (dd 2 1/2) when ds2 was born so again they haven't had the usual close in age relationship of 3 siblings. Ds1 is an adult now but still lives at home whereas dd and Ds2 have the closer in age sibling relationship if that makes sense.

Yes and yes from me, too. I was the youngest, so I’m glad they didn’t stop at 2. There’s a big gap between my siblings and I. I think my parents felt their family wasn’t complete and I kept them young, I think. My brother and sister might not agree. My parents were better off when I was growing up so I think they felt I was spoilt.

I went on to have 3 DC myself as 2 didn’t seem enough. After I was divorced, being a family of 4 again was perfect.

@BaggoMcoys

I'm the eldest of three. There wasn't a big age gap between any of us - I'm 4 years older than my youngest sibling - but I feel too much responsibility was placed on me as the oldest child.

Yep

Yes and yes. Have a fractious relationship with one of my siblings sometimes (as they do with the whole family, they're a very 'difficult' person). Very close to my other sibling.

Yes and yes. 4 years between eldest and youngest. Very close with both siblings (although I used to fight with my closest one constantly as children - that or get on really well). None of us ever felt neglected or that we were a favourite. I always wanted at least three children as a result of my experiences.

1 of 3 however I’m a twin so not sure whether than skews things a bit.

I would say no but mostly because my mum admitted to not being maternal we didn’t have the best childhood

I'm the oldest of 3. It was my job to look after the other 2 when my mum went back to work. I did all housework and cooked their dinners.
The middle child feels invisible.
The youngest child is very reliant on my parents and was always babied so never really became independent.
When we were playing games as kids there was always one left out.

Yes, 3 is good, I'm the youngest. My middle brother might disagree

Really shit experience at being the youngest of 3 tbh

No, I'm the middle chid. Eldest is mother's favourite and youngest is father's favourite. They deny it of course, but actions speak louder than words. Trying not to make the same mistakes with my 2 however probably making other mistakes in the process!

I was the middle child. Pretty much ignored for all of my childhood. Never enough food or money. Both sisters had birthday presents/cards/parties. They just didn’t bother with me.

I have just one child. But at least she’s loved and treasured as all children should be.

Yes and yes.

I was the middle child of 3 and I absolutely loved it. We also have a big extended family so loads of cousins that we're like siblings.

I never feel like I missed out on attention, and as adults my siblings and I were very close. When our younger brother died a few years back, my sister and I were so glad to have each other to lean on and help support ours parents and sister in law. Despite me living 5000 miles away over the past 13 years, our bond has never diminished.

But I think this is as much to do with family dynamics as well as personalities. I was probably the most headstrong and had typical "middle child syndrome" but despite this I'm probably closest emotionally to my parents (probably because of the distance).

I would have loved to have 3 to replicate my childhood but I have a busy career that I love and don't feel there's anyone missing anymore.

I’m the eldest one of 11, but we came in blocks of 3 so I had three siblings for a while, we had a very neglectful childhood anyways and very little money but I don’t remember it getting worse the more children my mum had. If anything she got better the more she had as she would leave us older lot be. I have very fond memories growing up with siblings and there was always someone to play with and no resentment there, not even growing up, just resentment towards my mum, I want a big family even after my experience, I’ll just do it better than my mum did.

I am one of three and love having two siblings.

I have 3DC myself and they have definitely benefitted, particularly during lockdown when they've mainly only had each other for company their own age.

Yes. Totally. Youngest, 2 older brothers.
Why? Presumably you don't?

I’m one of 3 though siblings are twins so maybe a different dynamic. There’s only 18 months between me and them so my parents had 3 under 2. I love having 2 siblings and don’t feel we missed out. My siblings might disagree though - as the eldest and singleton I probably had more individual attention. As adults now it’s nice to have more than 1 person to deal with family stuff with. I have 2 myself and would love another for this reason but DH isn’t keen. He’s also one of 3 and liked it but finds babies tough!

ShoesEverywhere I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment. Look after yourself, sending you all my sympathy and best wishes.

No. Dreadful. Oldest absorbed so much, not a lot left.