Your day will never be as awesome as Orlando Blooms

[Respectmyauthoritah]

I swear I actually HEARD my eyes rolling into the back of my head after the first paragraph.

Could he not hear what he was saying?! 😂😂😂

Hahaha

What a scene of domestic bliss. I didn't know babies just lay awake cooing in anything other than a fairytale

Look at baby for a bit, (pretty sure she then gets handed over to "the team"), wank about the place, put her to bed.

“I sometimes look at a cow and think that’s the most beautiful thing ever.”

That made me snort. If I was Katy Perry I’d knock him in the nuts for that.

I'm 90% plant based
Clearly that includes everything from the neck up

I love how he needs an app to know how well he slept.

Ah the everyday life of the super rich and famous.

Oh my god is this for real?!!

Twat....

Haha, I love these "Day in the life" things, they're always asinine.

I read this earlier, can't believe it's for real? Is it?......

God he was such a teenage crush for me, what an idiot

"I don't want to get too bogged down in apps and social media and tech and stuff, so I only check my sleep app as soon as I wake, then type up my buddhism and add it to my Instagram stories... then I have my breakfast"

I dread to think what people do on their phones before breakfast if they AREN'T being as careful to limit it as Orlando

Amazing. In the first lockdown DH and I watched all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and spent most of them yelling about how terrible he was whenever he was on screen. DH has never got over him being cast as Legolas in LOTR.

He's so far gone beyond the real world isn't he 🤣 oh Orlando, you used to give my fanny gallops, reading that was the equivalent of a cold shower 🤣

He was also the star turn in The Guardian magazine this weekend, where he also came across as a pretentious wanker.

'I spend a lot of time dreaming of roles for myself and others'. I spend a lot of time dreaming about my fantasy life too, then a bill arrives and boom, reality hits.

Then I'll have a Zoom
That'll be all the protein powder

I read this out to my OH today because I thought I was being a bitch....she agreed that he's so far up his own arse he can see daylight.....
What a total twat!!!

He needs to do an hour of weights at the end of the day to ‘exhaust him’ he should swop lives with someone normal who as to work, clean, look after kids etc without an army of staff! He’d soon find he was too tired at the end of the day to need to do weights!

Oh my god, and I thought my
life was boring.

This is hilarious.

twitter.com/MrMichaelSpicer/status/1373639559066611712?s=20

The shit they put in the water supply in California!

I love the waking up and immediately checking an app to see how well you slept. Back in the olden days you just knew how you felt when you woke up.

Lucky Katy Perry eh

Listening to this shite every ...