Your day will never be as awesome as Orlando Blooms

[Respectmyauthoritah]

I swear I actually HEARD my eyes rolling into the back of my head after the first paragraph.

@Spudlet

I read that woman’s diet thing and now I feel hungry... not for what she was having, but more in sympathy. There seemed to be so little actual food in there...?!

All that drinking activated gunk in the morning. She either has a bladder of steel or spends the afternoon making sure she is only three metres from a toilet.

I also wondered if she had ever stopped to consider the bee hours that would have gone into her daily three tablespoonfuls of bee pollen. No wonder bees are dying out, they are exhausted and starved from having to meet the needs of self indulgent, navel gazing , ignorant, snake oil believing twats like her.

@Bythemillpond

Just read what activated cashews are.

It’s just soaking your nuts in salt water then leaving them to dry
I do this and didn’t even know it was a thing.

I think when you look up what half this stuff is it is quite ordinary

I think I would fit into LA quite easily
I check my fit bit and soak my nuts

So when Orlando goes naked boarding he’s just soaking his nuts in salt water to activate them?

[quote TangerineCandyfloss]@Mulletsaremisunderstood, that's her! [/quote]
Haha, I got sent that article a few years ago by a friend - we laughed for about 10 minutes.

This seems the the essence of LA - green goo and kundalini yoga (whatever that is). To be fair to her, I think she runs a juice business or something so she has to sell the lifestyle.

It just seems so cultish all those weird ingredients. Even looking at the pictures, the food looks so unappetising.

Also, yes - love that her name is Bacon

Thank you Angliski - alas I fear Orlando may have ruined me for all other threads

So when Orlando goes naked boarding he’s just soaking his nuts in salt water to activate them

Maybe he misunderstood the phrase “activating your nuts”

This article is dangerously low on spirulina for my liking. He's running on empty without it!

He was married to Miranda Kerr so it's not really surprising he's a wanker. She's just as bad as him. If you look at her Instagram it's just her kissing and fluttering at herself in between yoga poses. Sometimes she'll mist her face and make sex noises.

[quote TangerineCandyfloss]@Spudlet, hang on, don't you view activated cashews as a meal?![/quote]
What can I say, I’m an incurable glutton

@LizzieSiddal

Poor Katy.

First Russell then this twit, she needs an intervention.

She dated John Mayer as well.

Oh ffs. First Britney needs rescuing now Katie.

Is she on TikTok? Do we need to tell her to blink 3 times and wear yellow?

He needs a day mucking out my lamb pens and feeding sheep to knock the corners off him

^This. Some have too much time on their hands.

I wonder whether those who write these types of articles do it in order to wind people up?

He has said in a further interview that he doesn’t have enough sex. They had a baby 6 months ago and he’s telling the world poor Katy doesn’t shag him enough. He’s just a colossal twat.

I watched something earlier where Mary Berry tried a sausage, baked bean and mashed potato pie, and now I feel very sorry for Californians.

I wonder if Katy would rather be married to Tom Baker?

cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/A_Life_in_the_Day_of_Tom_Baker

Tom Hollander, hiding Orlando's 'brain oil'.

He has said in a further interview that he doesn’t have enough sex. They had a baby 6 months ago and he’s telling the world poor Katy doesn’t shag him enough. He’s just a colossal twat

I read that article and this is a complete misrepresentation.

@derxa

He needs a day mucking out my lamb pens and feeding sheep to knock the corners off him.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Breakfast is green powder with brain octane oil.

I don't understand how you consume this. Powder is not breakfast. Are you on drugs Orlando?

Oh thank god, he's trying to be a voice for everyone.

He's shared the old cockney guy on his Insta story

This thread has given me a laugh this morning. Just seen this on This Morning and I rolled my eyes and thought oh off Orlando, have a bowl of Rice Krispies like the rest of us. Any wonder Katie doesn't want to have sex with him anymore

groundcontroltomontydon

...being the master of his own mind (that one's probably a quick win)...

😂😂😂

I bet Katy is somewhere cringing like fuck. It’s been in the national press too.

@MangoChutnee

Oh thank god, he's trying to be a voice for everyone.

Himself, women and minorities. Three very oppressed demographics 😂