Your day will never be as awesome as Orlando Blooms

[Respectmyauthoritah]

I swear I actually HEARD my eyes rolling into the back of my head after the first paragraph.

Wow lol what a pompous idiot

We watched the Billy Eilish documentary last week and the scene of him and Katy Perry meeting her backstage at Coachella was priceless.

He couldn't stop hugging her and telling her how proud he was of her, and afterwards she had to be told that he was in Pirates of the Caribbean. She thought he was some random guy that Katy Perry had picked up on the day. It was hilarious.

I saw the clip in Graham Norton where he talks about bonding with Daisy as it came across more tongue in cheek. I think it's hard to understand the tone of an article when it's so badly written

I bet he plays the Matilda song when he wakes up too.

I love how he needs an app to know how well he slept

It’s called a fit bit. I have one because I have insomnia. Maybe I should lift weights before bed to get me tired.
Or he could just watch Netflix and Mumsnet till 4am😀

Wow. What a bellend.

Yup, utter wank speak. He needs a tracker to tell him how well he's slept? Dickhead.

Not Orlando!
At least James McAvoy is more appealing than ever thanks to Bake Off, I can still cling to that crush

Oh come on, he must be taking the piss. No way is that real.

@doadeer

Hahaha

What a scene of domestic bliss. I didn't know babies just lay awake cooing in anything other than a fairytale

You're going to hate me... DD has been known to do this in the mornings. (Although for me that's a cue to go to the loo, get dressed and brush my hair as quickly as I possibly can before she changes her mind and starts loudly demanding milk! It's like there's a countdown timer running - but I have no idea when it will stop.)

@SleepingStandingUp

I thought Tom Hollander was Loki?

No, that's Tom Hiddlestone. Who did really bad dancing on an Asian chat show

I've heard that bloom is very dull so glad to see he's living up to his reputation

@Barmbraic

I love how he needs an app to know how well he slept.

🤣

Katie doesn’t get much of a lay in does she? He’s already home from his bloody hike by 9am. Oh wait, does he just do some eye gazing for 5, hand Daisy over to the nanny and fuck off and do his own thing for the rest of the day.

This whole thing made me sick in my own mouth.

If he wasn't with Katy who would have a clue who he is? He hasn't done anything decent in so long.

At least someone is finally as bad as Gwyneth exploding vagina candles Paltrow.

Back to weaving my breakfast out of watercress...

Sweet Jesus! He drinks his own hair and fingernails? Ewwww!

Apologies. Gwyneth has exploding vagina candles? 😱 At the risk of finding out....why?

Hahahahahah.

Thanks for sharing the Tom Hollander piece. It made me shake with laughter

Love this comment on Twitter

Him and Tom Hollander are a right pair aren't they? Twats.

What does the perfect baby do while he's doing all that faff and Katy is sleeping? I was always lucky to get a hot cup of (pg tips) when mine were babies

@NotJustAnyOldDog

Katie doesn’t get much of a lay in does she? He’s already home from his bloody hike by 9am. Oh wait, does he just do some eye gazing for 5, hand Daisy over to the nanny and fuck off and do his own thing for the rest of the day.

This whole thing made me sick in my own mouth.

I had the same question. He eye gazes for a bit, then is off with the protein powder and the hiking, doesn't sound like he's with the baby for long?

@Oblomov21

Him and Tom Hollander are a right pair aren't they? Twats.

Don't think you've quite got it. Tom is being tongue-in-cheek. I fear Orlando is being earnest.

Ha ha ha!! Lying here before breakfast (which I'm definitely not earning) reading Mumsnet and hiding from my (definitely not placid) DC, unable and unwilling to start Monday. The parallels between mine and Orlando's lives are startling!