I think I'm numb to feeling numb and feeling very dislocated now.
My optomism voice is saying things like "walk with friends from the 29th" "12th April". I even have a running race in mid-April. But last summer, I felt an anticipation for things like July 4th. But I found in the autumn that things were so fragile that I couldn't feelexcited any more, and that's not come back yet. These things are facts, and there's no emotion attached any more.
I can see the raw data on cases/ vaccinations yet still the doom mongers on high are quenching our spirits.
I can see people around meeting with friends and family, but I'm still feeling very isolated because I don't have easy, avaliable connections close by.
Having near constant overcast weather is not helping. Without seeing the bulbs at ground level from the windows, the general view looks like winter still. Feels like it too! I woke up briefly at 5:20am and was astonished that it was dawn as my brain is still stuck in winter.