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Original poster

What do SAHMs with school age children do?

218 replies

Ahbahbahbah · 03/03/2021 16:17

I’ve been SAHM for 7 years, and my youngest starts school next term (didn’t start in September due to covid).

DH is happy for to just relax/take up a hobby etc - and certainly after the last year of homeschooling I will do that for a while! Financially I don’t need to work.

But how will I actually fill my days? I feel like I have no idea what I would do or who I am without my children constantly needing me.

Can any SAHMs with school age children tell me how they fill their days? What should I be thinking about?

OP posts:
Serena1977 · 03/03/2021 18:38

These are what I've been doing.
Volunteering, got an allotment, gardening at home, housework, crosswords, reading, cycling, swimming.

WinstonmissesXmas · 03/03/2021 18:59

Wow! I can’t imagine a more boring existence. @supadupapupascupa - you’re describing the stuff I’d do on my lunchbreak and spend a little time doing at the weekend. There is no way that ‘life admin’ takes a day and putting away the online shop another Grin I find that jobs like this expand to fill the time you have. In reality, they take very little time but many SAHMs use them to justify the fact that they don’t have a job! Fair enough if you don’t need to work I suppose, but I couldn’t make out basic life bits and bobs took up the best part of 30 hours a week whilst my DH earned for both of us!

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2021 19:03

Tue. Life admin day. Update the accounts, budget, file paperwork, organise the meal plan for the week, organise the calendars on the fridge including kids meals at school and appointments, tick off jobs on the to do list.

Life admin day 😂

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Families
Squirrelonwheels · 03/03/2021 19:06

This thread was (unusually) full of women describing the positive choices they have made so it’s a shame there’s now a couple of comments criticising those choices. Look at how many are contributing to their local communities - yes, of course working parents can do that too, but SAHPs have more time and those voluntary contributions they make should be valued more in my opinion.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2021 19:08

I haven't seen anyone criticising voluntary contributions?

bellsbuss · 03/03/2021 19:08

I clean and tidy every day for about an hour, go to the gym or a yoga class, meet friends for breakfast or lunch, meet up with family , get my hair and nails done. I find the day goes really fast and before I know it it's time to do school pick up. The only time I've found it boring was the last lock down when the children were at school and nothing was open.

Squirrelonwheels · 03/03/2021 19:12

@WorraLiberty No, fair enough, I suppose not. It was just nice to see a thread that didn’t include criticism (until it did!) but perhaps I’m being overly sensitive.

WinstonmissesXmas · 03/03/2021 19:16

@Squirrelonwheels - not being negative, just saying that it really doesn’t take all that time to do stuff a lot of people fit in around life, rather than basic admin becoming life! I’m also a volunteer and a school governor plus have a FT job. I’ve been a SAHM (when the DC were preschoolers) and the day I started counting the weekly shop as an achievement was the day I found an out of home role Smile

Original poster
Ahbahbahbah · 03/03/2021 19:16

Yes can we try not to criticise please - personally I don’t feel I have enough admin to take a day, but some families have more complicated lives than others! Also I imagine the pp with a life admin day just means she focuses on that on those days, not that it actually takes all day!

It seems sensible to try and carve up the week somehow, I’ll definitely look into pta/governor roles.

OP posts:
lavenderlou · 03/03/2021 19:21

I have never been a SAHP but for a couple of years I worked part time after DC had started school. You probably won't be short of things to do. I used to do all the housework, admin stuff, medical appointments, time for exercise etc. There was some tea-drinking and Netflix watching too. Sadly all these things still need to be done now I work full time so they just don't get done very well!

You will certainly be able to fill your days. If I had been home all the time I would have liked to start learning how to do more with the garden, for example. RDo think about what you want to do longer term though, as quote often the longer you are out of the workplace, the harder it is to get back in again.

supadupapupascupa · 03/03/2021 19:34

Ah but my life admin takes ages :-D I like to really detail plan and almost Bullet journal. My finances are forecast by month in great detail fir the next 5 years! I love this stuff. One persons chore is another's organised heaven :-)

I don't really care what other people think about my days. I do what I feel like when but all that boring stuff is included. I waste soooo much time, but I can!

Judge away!

I work a few hours to support our business, I'm treasurer for a local charity (told you I love this stuff), I've been a parent governer at the school, helped run some parent groups at sure start..... alsorts! I've done a million courses, had a SEN child without a school place got 9 months (that was fun!)

The best thing about being a SAHM is the flexibility it gives you to pick and choose who to support and when. It can be boring but it's what you make it. I'm tired of living the corporate high life, and I can chose to go back to it if I wish.

I think it's a privilege and I appreciate and am thankful for every day of it.

zafferana · 03/03/2021 19:42

I'm doing a second degree with the OU. I also, in normal times, have a running group and two exercise classes that I take part in each week, a book group, and I volunteer (currently as a vaccine centre steward). There are plenty of things you can do/get involved in if you're looking to fill your days.

May17th · 03/03/2021 19:48

@UhtredRagnarson

Personally I’d look for at least few hours of part time work. It’s good to have a bit of financial independence regardless of whether you need to at this current time.
This
Shrivelled · 03/03/2021 19:49

Get a job or volunteer. Helping others or doing a fulfilling role is what life is all about. A day filled with hobbies would just leave me depressed.

BrownEyedGirl80 · 03/03/2021 19:51

I became a dinner lady.1.5 hours a day looking after a lovely mix of kids then back in time for school pick up Smile

AlwaysLatte · 03/03/2021 19:59

Wow! I can’t imagine a more boring existence. @supadupapupascupa - you’re describing the stuff I’d do on my lunchbreak and spend a little time doing at the weekend. There is no way that ‘life admin’ takes a day and putting away the online shop another I find that jobs like this expand to fill the time you have. In reality, they take very little time but many SAHMs use them to justify the fact that they don’t have a job! Fair enough if you don’t need to work I suppose, but I couldn’t make out basic life bits and bobs took up the best part of 30 hours a week whilst my DH earned for both of us!
The poster did also mention other things they do on those days, and I'm sure they didn't list everything! I think it's quite ignorant to presume that someone else's life admin takes the same that yours does. It can be anything between a couple of things on a new-build house or a days worth of sorting out issues on an old property, dealing with school stuff for 4 children vs none. I also schedule in an admin 'day' and it includes my parents' paperwork, particularly my Dad over whom I have LPA, and one phone call I had to make today for him took 50 mins on hold. Without knowing the amount of admin someone's life actually entails I wouldn't presume to criticise.

supadupapupascupa · 03/03/2021 20:02

Ah don't worry, I'm not biting :-)

I have a blessed life, it's bound to be someone else's boring :-)

Original poster
Ahbahbahbah · 03/03/2021 20:02

Yeah “life admin” covers a lot of things. I’ve done as little as possible for 7 years, so prob have some to catch up on....

OP posts:
Devlesko · 03/03/2021 20:12

@WinstonmissesXmas

Wow! I can’t imagine a more boring existence. *@supadupapupascupa* - you’re describing the stuff I’d do on my lunchbreak and spend a little time doing at the weekend. There is no way that ‘life admin’ takes a day and putting away the online shop another Grin I find that jobs like this expand to fill the time you have. In reality, they take very little time but many SAHMs use them to justify the fact that they don’t have a job! Fair enough if you don’t need to work I suppose, but I couldn’t make out basic life bits and bobs took up the best part of 30 hours a week whilst my DH earned for both of us!
Nobody has the need to justify not having a job, what a weird concept. Some people find happiness in so many other things. All these things listed are what people do when they aren't enjoying their lives with freedom to choose what they want to do. Nobody is saying they takeup 30 hours Grin life takes up the rest of the time. Great that you have a job and that makes you happy, wouldn't do for us all to be the same.
peachypetite · 03/03/2021 20:16

Honestly the amount of threads on here by women out of work who end up getting fucked over by their husbands or partners would make me look for a job.

DrunkenKoala · 03/03/2021 20:17

Cleaning and laundry
Batch cooking and prepping food
Baking
Swimming
Hair and beauty appts
Shopping
Reading

Kazzyhoward · 03/03/2021 20:20

I was a SAHM for a few years. The time just went. Cleaning, decorating, gardening, washing the car, visiting aged relatives, shopping, managing finances, etc etc. Kids are only in school 9-3 ish. By doing all the "chores" during the school day, it meant we had evenings and weekends free to do the family/fun stuff. For the years I wasn't a SAHM, we had to do the chores evenings an weekends and less time for family fun activities.

TheVolturi · 03/03/2021 20:28

I have been sahm for 5 years or so and my youngest will start school this year. While she's in nursery this next few months I am going to do some volunteering. Maybe it will lead to something.
Other than that I am looking forward to going for a run outside rather than solely on the treadmill. And I'm going to get the house redecorated as it's desperate, and sort the garden out.

FuckyouBrennan · 03/03/2021 21:10

People post on here for advice. They don’t post to say “just checking in to say life is great” obviously you’re going to see bad stories. I also see posts about shitty employers or colleagues, missing the kids whilst at work, missing school plays / sports days and feeling guilty, having no family time because cleaning and shopping is done at the weekend, never seeing husbands because of work so marriages break down or affairs happen.....

FuckyouBrennan · 03/03/2021 21:13

@supadupapupascupa

Ah but my life admin takes ages :-D I like to really detail plan and almost Bullet journal. My finances are forecast by month in great detail fir the next 5 years! I love this stuff. One persons chore is another's organised heaven :-)

I don't really care what other people think about my days. I do what I feel like when but all that boring stuff is included. I waste soooo much time, but I can!

Judge away!

I work a few hours to support our business, I'm treasurer for a local charity (told you I love this stuff), I've been a parent governer at the school, helped run some parent groups at sure start..... alsorts! I've done a million courses, had a SEN child without a school place got 9 months (that was fun!)

The best thing about being a SAHM is the flexibility it gives you to pick and choose who to support and when. It can be boring but it's what you make it. I'm tired of living the corporate high life, and I can chose to go back to it if I wish.

I think it's a privilege and I appreciate and am thankful for every day of it.

I agree with this. No judgement from me. I love having the freedom to choose what I want to do. I feel very privileged too. I have worked full and part time and being a SAHM is by far my favourite.