What do SAHMs with school age children do?

[Ahbahbahbah]

I’ve been SAHM for 7 years, and my youngest starts school next term (didn’t start in September due to covid).

DH is happy for to just relax/take up a hobby etc - and certainly after the last year of homeschooling I will do that for a while! Financially I don’t need to work.

But how will I actually fill my days? I feel like I have no idea what I would do or who I am without my children constantly needing me.

Can any SAHMs with school age children tell me how they fill their days? What should I be thinking about?

I will volunteer 1/2 days a week at each child’s school, lots of walking and hoping to start a vegetable patch. I also like to have a nice meal prepped as much as possible before the children are home so it’s not quite as fraught as doing it whilst they’re there and I can help with homework etc.

Demand some things of yourself then OP :) for me, I expect myself to exercise daily, do something artistic daily and do at least one chore a day. I get that those aren’t very high standard but it’s not like I’m just lolling around directionless. Your demand for yourself might be do a new degree but the principal still stands.

Gym, yoga, decorating, gardening (I love gardening), meet friends with their young babies and remind myself I'm free of breastfeeding/nighttime feeds and most importantly, have TV remote rights and go to the toilet without the constant interruption.

Obviously I go to the loo when they are home but its just more enjoyable to do your business without little voices outside the door demanding you open the door / can I see what your doing mummy/ mummy i need the toilet NOW

On a more serious note, I intend to do some udemy courses and start trading stocks online after the Easter holidays. Just need some me time until then!

PTA support stuff, and ran second hand uniform shops for both schools. Did all the accounts for those too.
Volunteered at local hospice.
DH worked away during the week, so I did everything house and children. Literally EVERYTHING!
Looked after elderly DM.
Coffees and lunches occasionally.
Walking and swimming.
Lots of gardening. I love my garden.

Things have obviously changed this last year, my DC's are grown up now, one still at school, but the one who left home, has come back, so more work for me.

DM died, and actually, that has been quite a shock, as to the time and effort it took to keep her going. So many phone calls, visits, looking after her (empty) house. Now I am handling the will, probate, selling the house etc.

So, having thought I would have nothing to do when the DC's grew up, in fact, I almost have more at the moment.

Not a SAHM but part time and have one school age child.
On my days off (once school back ) I will either go for a walk (friend/ DH who is WFH) or do a Pilates video.
Clean the house- we have a cleaner once a month and I blitz round the rest of the time.
Washing and ironing
Batch cook, online shop and put away.
Admin stuff.
Go shopping if needed.
Go and see my parents (I wear FFP mask and we have all had dose 1 of OxAZ.
Volunteer (lots wanted as part of the Covid vaccination effort).
Last summer it involved lying on a sun lounger in the back garden a lot

I'd been a SAHM for 6 years (3 children) when my youngest started school. I think my body and mind sank into the depression that I'd managed to stave off by being busy until then it was a really difficult time, and I couldn't understand it because I'd been really looking forward to the relative freedom!! After 3 months I ended up doing more volunteering and then getting a paid role from there.

My mum was a SAHM for quite a few years once we were all at school. She did a lot of housework (and still does), literally everything was ironed. She used to help out in school listening to readers and that sort of thing, was on the PTA, took the old lady down the road for her shopping one morning a week and was on various committees for after school clubs. We also had a fair sized garden which she did a lot of and we always had home cooked meals.

I have 2 days a week at home during school hours. Until recently when baby arrived and I'm occupied again.

My 2 days at home around school drop/collection involved a couple of hours cleaning and little jobs and the rest was free time. I chilled out! Watched Netflix, had a nap. Or if friends were about I'd socialise, meet for lunch and a walk.

Dinner and laundry could be sorted out after school, the same as any other day.

Once I have those two days to myself again, I'll make better use of the time and do an educational course.

I work 3 days. The other two days:
Housework (Washing, cleaning, gardening)
DIY (usually just nigggly jobs, though I try and “do” a project each year (eg paint a room, do the outside of house, etc)
Food shop, batch cook
Pay bills, sort paperwork
Visit DF (care home), both days and I try to go one day of weekend. This is a 2 hour drive so does eat into the days a lot!
Volunteer work on a couple of local boring committees and also school breakfast club (because DC use it on the days I work).

It means that at weekends and in the evenings no one needs to do the boring chores, and that DC can do after-school activities or have friends round on the days I do t work - but it’s a huge luxury.

I was an unintentional SAHM for about a year, could also call it unemployed. I took up a new hobby (upholstering), bought a second dog, went to a drawing course (one half day a week), and did daily exercise classes at the gym. Along with cleaning, cooking, gardening etc it really filled my time, especially the puppy, but I was really relieved when I started working part-time again.

I also now have the time and energy to support DS with the aspects of learning he finds hard and his teacher emailed me last week to thank me for my work with him and he has made big leaps forward.

When I was working I was constantly beating myself up because we reached for Just Eat way too often. Now I make my family lovely home cooked meals every day with take aways as an occasional treat for special occasions.

Ok, so I should probably think about:

• finding some kind of voluntary/part time role - I’ll ask the school what they like parents to do
• some kind of exercise routine
• doing the housework, cooking etc like now but aiming to do it mainly in school hours, cooking from scratch more
• maybe some kind of course to get my mind back into gear but honestly have no idea what

My husband and I are both SAHPs now and we're really busy! We share a hobby, which is great and is also a sociable thing. We do lots of gardening and home projects (he's very hands on and excellent at DIY projects). We're able to take the eldest to and from school, as he doesn't like the bus. The youngest goes to secondary in September, in a different direction and we'll both be able to do the school runs if he prefers to go by car too. We also (outside of Covid obviously) meet up with friends, go out for pub lunches, and to the National Trust properties that the children find most boring, while they're at school. And we're on a couple of village committees and my husband is a school governor and does voluntary tutoring. I do a lot of hands on stuff for my parents. We both say we don't know how we found time to work! Just enjoy it.

Here’s what I’ve done since DC2 started school in 2019

• Finished off house renovation
• Bought various bits of furniture/decor (we had delayed buying anything for years due to planned renovation)
• Finally got back into doing some exercise
• Coffees - made friends with school parents
• Laundry, tidying, cooking, life admin
• Got bored. The above accounts for maybe 2-3 hrs a day but not the rest of the school day (unless I became Mrs Hinch which is unlikely)
• Looked at volunteering/PTA etc, decided I’d rather work
• Started to look for work

... and then covid hit.

I’m now up for a bit of a rest after home schooling and then will be back looking for work!

I work two days a week but when my youngest of three goes to school I don’t plan to up my days as I initially thought I would. On my days off I plan to go to the gym most days and do classes and swim, have lunch with friends, go shopping ( if any shops left ) and actually try on clothes in peace (stop ordering clothes on-line that never fit), go to the beautician more, go to the hairdressers more than once every 6 months as I do now, read more, make nice lunches for me and DH, prepare decent dinners, take my kids to after school sports activities which I can’t do on the days I work. Can’t wait!

Have a look at your local adult learning centre and see what types of courses they run. You may find something there that interests you.

My local adult learning college does various creative courses like art, painting and photography but also health and fitness, home improvements, IT, creative writing, cooking & cake decorating, floristry, jewellery making, languages, etc. Loads of things!

I've spent a lot of time Reading The Internet (still haven't finished it, mind you). Otherwise I might be persuaded do puzzles or even, occasionally, to read a book...

Officially? Get all the housework done so that nobody has to do any tidying cleaning admin laundry or shopping in the evenings or at the weekends. Do some fancy baking and some time-consuming meals. Trawl the charity shops. Volunteer work (school governor and PCC secretary, though not all the latter is during the day).

When I feel motivated to do something other than the Internet I have also practised piano, gone on the weights machines at the gym, done some cross-stitch, revised maths (ok, I've thought about that one), attended Morning Prayer.

Well for 13 weeks they arent at school.

I'm not a sahm but ive done lots of different work patterns and the time between drop off and pick up is seems to go very quickly.

It’s made me realise how much of the country runs on volunteer time! I’m a magistrate (in court approx once a fortnight) which provides intellectual challenge and makes me feel more fulfilled. I plan to volunteer at school but obviously not possible at the moment. Plus all the usual stuff that comes with running a house - I see it as a luxury that I can do most of it in the daytime so our evenings and weekends are more free to enjoy life. I know it’s a privilege but I am also acutely aware I’ve essentially sacrificed my career for this privilege.

@AlwaysLatte

My husband and I are both SAHPs now and we're really busy! We share a hobby, which is great and is also a sociable thing. We do lots of gardening and home projects (he's very hands on and excellent at DIY projects). We're able to take the eldest to and from school, as he doesn't like the bus. The youngest goes to secondary in September, in a different direction and we'll both be able to do the school runs if he prefers to go by car too. We also (outside of Covid obviously) meet up with friends, go out for pub lunches, and to the National Trust properties that the children find most boring, while they're at school. And we're on a couple of village committees and my husband is a school governor and does voluntary tutoring. I do a lot of hands on stuff for my parents. We both say we don't know how we found time to work! Just enjoy it.

How have you managed to both be SAHP?

You do all the domestic stuff that needs doing, but at a more relaxed pace if you want, rather than at the speed of a blue arsed fly when you're knackered.

I do all our DIY, painting, gardening

I bake, make bread and yoghurt, cook everything fresh, because I love doing it.

I normally volunteer twice a week to work with the elderly, although they are all safely tucked away at home at the moment plus I have a couple of volunteer admin jobs.

Read, write, keep fit, house admin, etc etc

I'd really recommend volunteering in an area you have skills/interests.

I have a 13 year old with special needs and don't work as there are no holiday / after school childcare options that would work for us.

I don't have any trouble filling my days. (pre covid).........I have elderly parents and inlaws and run errands for them and drive them to medical appointments, I am a school governor, I'm on the PTA, I volunteer at a community cafe once a week I like to bake, I meet up with friends who also have children with special needs.

I did several OU courses, walked the dog, did an excessive amount of unnecessary housework and fannied about on mumsnet for a couple of years. Got bored of that and went back to work.

I did this for a while and it was lovely - I did a few online courses, and touristed around London (where I live). Make sure you don't end up being someone's free after-school care!!