What do SAHMs with school age children do?

[Ahbahbahbah]

I’ve been SAHM for 7 years, and my youngest starts school next term (didn’t start in September due to covid).

DH is happy for to just relax/take up a hobby etc - and certainly after the last year of homeschooling I will do that for a while! Financially I don’t need to work.

But how will I actually fill my days? I feel like I have no idea what I would do or who I am without my children constantly needing me.

Can any SAHMs with school age children tell me how they fill their days? What should I be thinking about?

I'd nap.

If my twins nap as expected (by me) then that's what I'll do because the big one is school age and they won't be for AGES and then I'll need a job.

The day passes remarkably quickly. I too really worried what would happen once my youngest hit school age but then realised that once you hit midday it races past. Add Covid and be not had a moment to myself.

Following. My DD started reception in September. I joined the PTA and was out in charge of the Xmas fair. I was ridiculously busy. And I found the school day to be very short. However, with her due to return to school, everything still being shut and the weather being a bit shit, I'm feeling a bit lost at the mo about my future role. I have got friends to meet up with, relatives a twenty min drive away, a loft to sort out and lots of other jobs, but I am worried about a lack of routine. I suffer from anxiety and low mood at times. I don't want to panic and rush into returning to work after ten years as a sahm, but I do need some structure and to rebuild my confidence. I'm planning on a gap year to sort the house and garden and do some voluntary work. I might start up a hobby cake making business. I think that I do want a part time job eventually, but I enjoy being around the kids in the summer holidays.

How have you managed to both be SAHP?
We sold up our business and took early retirement :-)

Wow!! Very well done to you both!! Lucky DCs getting to have you both there.

Yeah I worry that I’ll just fanny about (on mumsnet), and end up wasting all the time. It’s hard to create a routine/structure for yourself.

Thank you - we were going to think about starting a new business but decided to help DSSs onto the property ladder. Then my parents became ill so the situation sort of carried on. The younger two like us being around but we're on their backs during homeschooling and I'm sure they'd rather be left to it!

I work three evenings a week but more or less a sahm as both dc are in school all day (pre covid). I do my exercises, housework etc and also do all the decorating. I fill the day quite easily but I do get bored of not having anything challenging, I'd like a career again, being in this position has made me realise that.

I currently have one in reception and soon to have one starting in September.
I am a magistrate and do this once every couple of weeks. I am on the board for a not-for-profit local nursery. I sort all the household side of things (we do have a cleaner). I also crochet and make gifts.
I’m looking for one more venture to undertake but right now I’m going to try and enjoy a relaxing year after a stressful one.

By the time you have factored in dropping off and collecting children there is less time than one would imagine in the working day.

You will find that after-school at home rather than in child care makes more mess and work so a few extra tasks as opposed to working out of the house. However, there is less need to get everything done before taking children to school. This is a major advantage. You also have less to organise beforehand. Wohp parents have to do/organise everything beforehand and have no opportunity to pop back home to prepare the next thing.

You may find that you have less money but more time thus can't afford the pre chopped more expensive veg say. Might need to do things the long way due to cost. Most people can't have both extra time and extra money.

You have the flexibility to do chores over a longer period of time, but sometimes one can get less efficient. I occasionally get lazy and need a kick up the arse.

I have two disabilities that make me tired and have carelessly passed these inherited conditions on to my children, so spend time recovering, sleeping, taking children to appointments, attending appointments for me, meeting with school, chasing up school meetings etc.

There is housework and DIY. Shopping ( takes a whole day a week due to various disabilities and conditions)

Occasionally go out for coffee in a cafe... Or to the library. Those things in the past.

This will be me next year, I’m looking forward to having a tidy house and I’m going to go swimming everyday and well as actually go to the shops rather than doing online delivery. I think the time will fly by, I’m also going to do a home cooked meal everyday rather than soup or sandwiches.

I worked out of the home as a dog walker for only about ninety minutes a day, just for a bit of pin money, for the first few years after the children went to school. That got boring pretty quickly, I added in quite a lot of volunteer stuff with PTA and other charities, a bit of local politics, then when the children were past the 'she's just been sick everywhere can you come and get her immediately' stage I turned the very small pin money level dog walking thing into a proper business and outsourced things like cleaning gardening decorating etc to people who don't hate doing it as much as I do. Two of my mum friends did stay SAHM for much of the pre-university time, both had husbands who were extremely high earners but with concomitantly long hours and a lot of international travel. One loved the domestic side of life and also took over the running of the two flats they'd decided to keep and rent out rather than sell when they married - so I suppose she was a working parent in the sense that a letting agent would have otherwise been doing it. The other spent nearly four years turning a very average 1930's stockbroker belt house into a breathtaking masterpiece and when I last saw her in Waitrose had just started her first interior design commission.

Walks
Exercise classes / gym
Read
Volunteer
PTFA
Do a hobby
Swim
Meet friends for lunch
Clean the house
Cook
Bake
Spa days / appointments such as pedicures, facials etc
Gardening
Crafting
Do a course

I love it. Complete freedom!

What I am shocked by is the amount of volunteers among sahp. There is a lot of unseen work out there.

I go to the gym and I also do the food shop and housework.
I also have the time to go out for lunch, meet up with friends. Go to the hairdressers get my nails done.
Also, take in several parcels for my neighbours 😂😂

You could contact your local volunteer bureau to find out what is available in your area - professional skills are always in demand and help keep your brain active!

Have more babies in my case.

He started Sept full time, I was going to start looking for work the previous Easter for the September. Found out on May I was pregnant.

So May pregnant, September full time schooling, Dec twins, March lockdown.

Before I had the youngest.
Housework. See friends. Waay too much shopping. Go for walks. I dunno I just always had something to do. Was never bored..
I can't wait till them days again haha.

I’m a mum of 5, the youngest (3) two started school in sept, we live abroad.
I drop them all at the school bus for 8.30.
Twice a week I’ll go for a run from the bus stop, 45 mins and then back to the car and head home for housework.
Between 9.30-11.30 it’s housework including 3 loads of washing washed and hung out to dry, and I put away what I can.
Then shower, wash and dry hair.
After that I’ll either do some language practice/ homework, or get in an extra dog walk.
Some mornings I’ll go on a long dog walk instead of a run.
Have my lunch, prepare the children’s lunch and then last housework bits before picking them up at 2pm.

Once a week i go to an exercise class in the morning, so fit my housework around that.
One morning I go food shopping - that takes a couple of hours because I nose around 2 or 3 supermarkets, come home put it all away.
One morning I have a language lesson, 2 hours.

One morning I’ll go to the beach for a walk and coffee with either my mum, or friends - obviously not really done this for a while due to various lockdown restrictions! Try and do this once a week in normal times!

Mine only at school 5 hours, and in the summer 4 hours!!! So not long!

Wow that sounds amazing!!!
What about setting up a little business with an interest of yours? Or volunteering work? Local food banks are crying out for help.

@FuckyouBrennan

Walks Exercise classes / gym Read Volunteer PTFA Do a hobby Swim Meet friends for lunch Clean the house Cook Bake Spa days / appointments such as pedicures, facials etc Gardening Crafting Do a course

I love it. Complete freedom!

That's it, the freedom.

OP, I imagine it's hard to structure your day when you have previously had it done for you via work and then fitting in domestics that can't wait.
If I was you and didn't know what to do I'd spend some time considering different types of interest and hobby.
I imagine there's a few suggestions already that you could cross off your list, because they just aren't you.
I'm not really a gardener, I enjoy a bit. So this would be off my list straight away.
I'm into ancestry, not everyone's idea of fun, but I lose track of time and become really involved.

@Ahbahbahbah

Ok, so I should probably think about:

• finding some kind of voluntary/part time role - I’ll ask the school what they like parents to do
• some kind of exercise routine
• doing the housework, cooking etc like now but aiming to do it mainly in school hours, cooking from scratch more
• maybe some kind of course to get my mind back into gear but honestly have no idea what

If the opportunity arises, I'd become a school governor as there's quite a bit of training involved so it's great to keep your CV filled up.

I did this and when I eventually went back to work, I'd learned many transferable skills to the job I'm in now.

I home educate my children (pre-pandemic).

Posted too soon.

Lots of great suggestions for you to explore, OP. Hope you find something that suits you.

I work 3 days a week and have a 7 year old. On my days off (pre homeschooling!) I had a horse share, so would ride and do stable chores, would run or walk, I use an online gym and do live classes, housework and any DIY jobs, do the online shop, sort bills, catch up over the phone with mum who lives a long distance away and get things sorted for dinner. I think you really need to find some hobbies you enjoy if you aren't working or you might find yourself very bored.