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Refusing home learning = school welfare

317 replies

Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 00:09

My son is coming up 14 all through lock down he has refused to do any home learning. I contacted the school and told them it was hard for him to follow the time table. As I have a child with special needs who does not sleep well. So it means we sometimes sleep later in the mornings. They said it could be more flexible as long as its done. Son still did not do it.

They did say its possible he could go into school under being vulnerable due to his sibling having special needs and it being difficult... but nothing became of this.

My son was also questioned how it would be better for him and he said if he had all his work on paper.. so they did that for him still nothing from him.

I contacted the school on a few occasions for help. As I did not know what to do. They have tried to support. But I guess there's only so much they can do.

He also got emails from the school. Some were positive encouragement. Others were more firm and spoke about how let down they felt and how hard they have tried. He also had a phone call from head of year.

Head of year called Me several days back and told me school welfare are going to pay us a visit. She said it was not a reflection on me. But to try and push my son into doing something. I told him what was happening and he still did nothing.

So tonight welfare officer knocks on the door. They have said I could get fined because hes not been doing work. And have given him till Friday to get a decent amount of work done. They are coming back on Friday. If there's no improvement they may refere to social services.

He is excellent in school his attendance is good. He's top set for everything.

At the moment he's not allowed his playstation. I can't turn of Internet as his older brother is doing A levels so he needs it.

OP posts:
WentworthPrison · 25/02/2021 01:18

I'm not sure what you expect the school to do. We're in lockdown. They've tried alternatives for him but ultimately they can't do it for him. Step up and make him do the work.
Consequences if he still refuses.

Lockdownbear · 25/02/2021 01:26

Let them get SS involved. They might actually be able to get him classed as vulnerable and get a school place.

I don't actually know how you make a 14yo do something they don't want to do. I struggle enough getting my 10 yo to do school work.

AledsiPad · 25/02/2021 01:30

@WentworthPrison

I'm not sure what you expect the school to do. We're in lockdown. They've tried alternatives for him but ultimately they can't do it for him. Step up and make him do the work. Consequences if he still refuses.
Hmm, maybe, they should accommodate the vulnerable (young carer) child?

Interested in this thread?

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Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 01:45

@WentworthPrison

I'm not sure what you expect the school to do. We're in lockdown. They've tried alternatives for him but ultimately they can't do it for him. Step up and make him do the work. Consequences if he still refuses.
I'm not expecting them to do more than they have. They have tried and so have I. The reason I included the school in my post was to show I have tried to do something and reach out.
OP posts:
Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 01:50

It's not easy to make a 14 year old do home learning. It's not like I can stop him going out seeing friends etc because we are in lock down anyway. The school did say he could possibly go under vulnerable child. But nothing came of it.

OP posts:
MechantGourmet · 25/02/2021 01:59

So what is his reason for not working when school have worked to accommodate his preferences?

Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 02:05

@MechantGourmet

So what is his reason for not working when school have worked to accommodate his preferences?
There is no real reason... its excuses. The genuine one was how my special needs child does not sleep well and keeps people awake or wakes them several times a night. So the school said he could be flexible. He still done nothing.

They asked him what would help he said he wanted it on paper because he felt it would be better if it was on paper for him they dud that. He still did not do it.

There is no genuine excuse.

OP posts:
SeasonsInTheAbyss · 25/02/2021 02:10

My 14 yo is the same. We recently did parents eve and every single teacher said that he had done no homework whatsoever. However they also said that in maths/the sciences he had received top marks in the whole year in the last assessment done in school. If they are doing well regardless it is very hard to get through to them. My son’s mental health has suffered and he needs to get back to school.

BlueThistles · 25/02/2021 02:24

At the moment he's not allowed his playstation

Sell it..

If he can apply himself to his Play station... clearly he can apply himself to his school work... he is choosing not too..

Social services will intervene if necessary...

Not much else you can do OP.. Flowers

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 25/02/2021 02:37

Well he would be at school if the teachers did their job properly. Tell them you are sending him back to school and they can do the job they get paid for, and as for the education officer tell them to get every kid back at the same time. I have lost any respect I have for teachers, my sons school have done no marking or online lessons in a year.

14down · 25/02/2021 02:37

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Didkdt · 25/02/2021 02:38

Does he understand how much strain he’s putting you under, is he competing with sN sibling for attention?
SS isn’t always the worst outcome they can help a lot but I think you need to be looking at the why as well. Maybe they can help you access support for that

14down · 25/02/2021 02:42

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BlueThistles · 25/02/2021 02:45

The only person that suffers.. is your Son...

Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 02:59

@14down

Or you could wait until the 8th of March when he goes back to school and then hand over all his schooling to his teachers.. so when he fails he exams it's not your issue.. same difference really isn't it? It's a shame your other kid has learning difficulties but you can't just stop parenting / teaching your teenager because it's difficult. But it's nearly over now and you've not done a lot so just leave him to him his own devices and tell him when he's older how he caused his own failure
I have not stopped parenting him /teaching him. I have been trying for weeks and weeks to get him to do his work. I have contacted the school on a few occasions. Explained why it's not straight forward for him they agreed to be flexible. We tried different things. But no he still does nothing. If I was not parenting then I would not have even tried. I would love to know the answer to how its so easy?
OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 25/02/2021 03:02

My understanding is the government said that children not doing their work were to be considered vulnerable and offered a school place. This is happening in my dd’s secondary school. I’d be pushing for your ds to go back now.

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 25/02/2021 03:05

OP - people are being insufferable smug twits as usual.

All you can do is keep on at him, keep trying

Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 03:11

@Mummyoflittledragon

My understanding is the government said that children not doing their work were to be considered vulnerable and offered a school place. This is happening in my dd’s secondary school. I’d be pushing for your ds to go back now.
It's odd how they mentioned about him going back. They asked him if it might be an idea and he said yeah possibly. Then they asked him what Does he think might help. He said to have it on paper. So I'm guessing nothing happend with going back to school because they gave him the work on paper. Which made no difference.

It was actually me who contacted them first because I was worried about his learning. So I wounder if I had not it would have gone unnoticed.

OP posts:
Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 03:13

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

OP - people are being insufferable smug twits as usual.

All you can do is keep on at him, keep trying

Thank you. I probably should not have replied.

Yes I will. I'm hoping maybe the knock at the door may have got him thinking.

OP posts:
Crikeycroc · 25/02/2021 03:18

You say you can’t turn the internet off however if your 14 year old is amusing himself online rather than doing school work I would either take away the device he uses to access the internet or change the password and only tell your oldest son what it is.
Is there any chance he might be depressed? Just wondering if he isn’t just being lazy.

FredSoftly · 25/02/2021 03:21

OP - people are being insufferable smug twits as usual

Yes, I don't know why OP is getting a hard time.

earthyfire · 25/02/2021 03:23

Join the group Not Fine is School on facebook - you'll get some really helpful advice there.

earthyfire · 25/02/2021 03:25

*Not fine in School

Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 03:28

@Crikeycroc

You say you can’t turn the internet off however if your 14 year old is amusing himself online rather than doing school work I would either take away the device he uses to access the internet or change the password and only tell your oldest son what it is. Is there any chance he might be depressed? Just wondering if he isn’t just being lazy.
If I do that he then says well how can I do my work with no Internet. If he says to the school I tried to do some work but mum turned the Internet off. Then that's turned onto me. And I can't tell when he's geniune and when he's not.
OP posts:
Myworldyourworld · 25/02/2021 03:31

@Crikeycroc

You say you can’t turn the internet off however if your 14 year old is amusing himself online rather than doing school work I would either take away the device he uses to access the internet or change the password and only tell your oldest son what it is. Is there any chance he might be depressed? Just wondering if he isn’t just being lazy.
Sorry I forgot to answer the question about is he depressed. I don't think he is. He's still joking around being silly etc. I can't be 100% on that though.
OP posts:
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