Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My DF is in jail, I need to go back to my home country, can't I take compassionate leave?

286 replies

Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:23

It's for something that happened 20 years ago. He's under quarantine with other inmates under terrible conditions, I'm pretty sure he'll catch COVID and that will be the end of it. I need to go back home for an indefinite length of time, what's the best to handle this with work? (I also had to take time off for my DS in the past 3 weeks which worries me they'll think I'm taking the Mick).

OP posts:
rawalpindithelabrador · 21/02/2021 13:25

Depends on your contract.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:27

My contract doesn't say much. I'll try to find a copy. Would I be able to get unpaid leave?

OP posts:
Chimoia · 21/02/2021 13:28

Sorry for what you are going through. They will have their policies, I imagine the indefinite nature of it will make it difficult for them. Are you asking for paid or unpaid? Are you prepared to tell them what's happening? As he is not unwell this might be tricky for them to approve. Just tell them what you want /need to do and they will tell you what they can do for you I guess? Can you work remotely at all?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Crime
ShalomToYouJackie · 21/02/2021 13:28

@Fressia123

My contract doesn't say much. I'll try to find a copy. Would I be able to get unpaid leave?
We won't know that, depends on your employer, you'd have to speak to them.
Sirzy · 21/02/2021 13:29

If your in the U.K. will you be allowed to travel anyway?

Twickerhun · 21/02/2021 13:29

It’s unlikely you would get compassionate or any paid leave for this. I suspect you need to ask for unpaid leave.

MotherofTerriers · 21/02/2021 13:30

I think the indefinite time period might be difficult for your employer. Even if it is unpaid leave, someone would presumably have to do the work you normally carry out. It might not be fair to expect colleagues to pick up your work as well as theirs.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:30

I can work remotely that wouldn't be a problem (and in fact being over there can be used to the company's advantage).

My DSis seems to think we should fly back ASAP and I agree but I don't think it's as easy with work.

OP posts:
cabbageking · 21/02/2021 13:30

What do you hope to accomplish there that you can not do here?
If he is in prison how does risking your job improve the situation?

Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:32

It's more to say goodbye as we're sure he'll be exposed to COVID and he's over 70, obese and with a heart condition so I at least have the certainty that he wouldn't be able to make it.

OP posts:
Chocomel · 21/02/2021 13:32

I think the only person who can help here is your boss. Or talk to your HR dept? We can't know how to answer without contract/business details.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:32

My job can only be done by me BTW.

OP posts:
Chocomel · 21/02/2021 13:33

@Fressia123

My job can only be done by me BTW.
If you're irreplaceable, and confident that you can do the job remotely, then tell work what you want.
Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:33

Well it's kind of embarrassing to say that my dad is in jail, so I'd have to say he's for Covid, which I'm sure he will catch it anyways.

OP posts:
Toorapid · 21/02/2021 13:34

I think you have to have an honest conversation with your boss and see what you can agree between you. You won't have any automatic right to any sort of leave but some employers will agree it.

I'm not suggesting you should, but I've known lots of people who get signed off by their doctor, for long periods, with "stress due to family circumstances"

TyneTeas · 21/02/2021 13:35
Flowers

Check if your employer can let you work remotely from outside the country. I believe there are tax reasons why it is often not possible

Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:35

that would be a good option and even if only SSP, better than nothing.

OP posts:
Toorapid · 21/02/2021 13:36

Will the prison be allowing visitors, even if you are able to travel?

Even at 70 and obese he still has a greater chance of surviving Covid than of dying.

TomHardyAndMe · 21/02/2021 13:37

Based on your previous posts it’s a NMW job that you don’t really enjoy. Why would you want to come back to it?

They don’t have to allow you leave in these circumstances and will find it hard to cover you on the basis of “indefinite”.

You may be better off just quitting.

MixedUpFiles · 21/02/2021 13:37

If you are certain he is going to be exposed, then how are you even found to see him?

Is traveling really going to accomplish anything?

TomHardyAndMe · 21/02/2021 13:38

@Fressia123

My job can only be done by me BTW.
There are very few jobs where this is truly the case.
Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:38

They allow visitors as long as you social distance, I'm not very clear as everything I know is through my DM and she doesn't make much sense at times. My DSis used to be the DA so at least she has contacts. But yes, you can visit.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 21/02/2021 13:39

Are they even allowing visitors where he is being held and will you be able to travel? Might it be better to send him a letter to say everything you need to say?

Original poster
Fressia123 · 21/02/2021 13:39

None of the current employees can do my job, I mean that's a fact, as it's all in Spanish!

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 21/02/2021 13:40

Sorry I cross posted with you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread