My DF is in jail, I need to go back to my home country, can't I take compassionate leave?

[Fressia123]

It's for something that happened 20 years ago. He's under quarantine with other inmates under terrible conditions, I'm pretty sure he'll catch COVID and that will be the end of it. I need to go back home for an indefinite length of time, what's the best to handle this with work? (I also had to take time off for my DS in the past 3 weeks which worries me they'll think I'm taking the Mick).

I don't think as an employer I'd feel hugely sympathetic. If you can do travel/quarantine within your annual leave time, okay - but no more.

I only have 5 days left. I had more but had to use them because DS's nursery shut down due to COVID and I'm supposed to go back to FT from tomorrow.

[quote Shrivelled]@typicalvalues they speak Spanish in Spain, but you wouldn’t have to go “across the pond” as the OP said, in order to get there.[/quote]
Indeed. Sarcasm works better if you have RTFT .

Are you just going to leave your DC for an unknown period of time? Why don’t you do this if he does catch covid? Going now seems a waste of time given it’s all hypothetical

I'm pretty sure you can't legally leave the country.

While there are circumstances where you can lawfully go abroad for compassionate reasons, I don't think a father in prison (who, thankfully, isn't yet ill) is likely to fall within any of them.

I know from a friend who works in travel that this is currently being checked when people travel and some people, who have booked flights, are being sent home or otherwise threatened with the police.

He's not even sick! People survive Covid even with health conditions. Hang fire. Go back to work, tell the truth and speak to your boss, see what might be able to be worked out if anything, but accept that it might mean leaving your job.

Where I work some colleagues have been stuck abroad and weren't allowed to work from home as they were no longer in the UK. I know one ended up resigning.

I'm pretty sure you can't legally leave the country.

This is not a prison. Of course a citizen can legally leave the country, ffs. A citizen can also repatriate. He/she may have to quarantine in a hotel, but you have to right to return.

@Fressia123

Well it's kind of embarrassing to say that my dad is in jail, so I'd have to say he's for Covid, which I'm sure he will catch it anyways.

Speaking as a manager, depending on my circumstances as an employer, I would probably allow unpaid leave. The minute I found out that you had been less than truthful to me though, you would be getting an awful lot of unpaid leave - you'd be dismissed. However I think it would be unlikely that we would allow paid leave (other than annual leave) or "remote working" for a journey abroad, whatever the circumstances.

@rawalpindithelabrador

I'm pretty sure you can't legally leave the country.

This is not a prison. Of course a citizen can legally leave the country, ffs. A citizen can also repatriate. He/she may have to quarantine in a hotel, but you have to right to return.

That's not true though.

"International travel
Travelling internationally from England
You can only travel internationally – or within the UK – where you first have a legally permitted reason to leave home. The legally permitted reasons to leave home for international travel are the same as the reasons listed on this page in the ‘When you can leave home’ section. This means you may not travel to go on holiday."

I don't think visiting a parent who isn't ilm would come close to one of the legally permitted reasons. It's just a holiday at this stage, which isn't legally allowed.

If none of the current employees can do your job, I think you should explore the option of working remotely, using leave for the travel time, and agree a return date. I think you should also check about travelling there and whether or not you would be allowed into the country you are visiting.

And double check about visitors, as just because one family member has been able to, does not mean a second etc, or may not be say only once a month. Your DM as you note does not make sense at times.

I had written a reply but anyways, he's in quarantine with a bunch of inmates in unsanitary conditions. It doesn't look great from that POV

The "indefinite" is that I'd hope it would be for a couple of weeks, but if it the worst were to happen I'd definitely have to stay to sort out some paperwork.

It's impossible to combine this kind of thinking with the demands of your job. He may be at risk, but he doesn't even have Covid as far as you know and the idea of going now with the expectation of him being gone in a couple of weeks is just... impracticable is the simplest word I guess. What has he said in all of this, do you know? Does he want you to throw your life up in the air off the back of already (without getting into it) causing a lot of upset? If you feel that you want to go and visit him, then you have to weigh that up and accept that giving up your job may be necessary. But otherwise, for all it's terrible stresses, I don't know that this particular circumstance is actually that different to all of us who are distant from our vulnerable parents now and who could fall ill at any time and pass without us having the chance to say goodbye. It's awful, absolutely, but although the prison stats may be exacerbating this, I think it's also piling pressure on you to act in haste and regret it later.

Repatriation is legally allowed. You're going back to your home country. You don't need to tell them anything else, it's NOT a prison. 'I'm Mexican/Cuban/whatever the OP is. I'm going back to my home country.' That's it.

People do this daily. They are dual nationals.

I don’t understand the “indefinite” thing. Is it for two years until your df gets out, or is it until he (possibly) dies of covid, or whilst he (possibly) has covid and recovers?

Surely if he does contract covid, the prison will not allow you to visit, and if he is very ill he will be in the sick bay anyway and won’t be able to have visitors.

Has he been in prison for 20 years?

@typicalvalues

South-west US or Florida, I would guess.

I believe they speak Spanish a lot in Spain also.

OP has mentioned twice she is travelling ‘over the pond’ - the Atlantic Ocean - usually means to the US.

I don't think visiting a parent who isn't ilm would come close to one of the legally permitted reasons. It's just a holiday at this stage, which isn't legally allowed.

Utter BS! My h is a dual national. He returned to his home country to visit his widowed mother last month. There were NO questions asked, he used the passport of his home country to check in, as this was required by the airline. Scaremongering is ridiculous.

Visiting your family is NOT considering a fucking holiday!

You're jumping the gun here, Freesia. He may or may not even get it, may have had it and not known it and if he does get it, may survive just fine.

Go to work and speak to your boss.

OP has mentioned twice she is travelling ‘over the pond’ - the Atlantic Ocean - usually means to the US.

All of N. America is 'over the pond' - and C. America, S. America, two entire continents.

My DSis says it would be too late by the time he shows symptoms, so we have to get there before it happens. She's going to take over the case as far as I'm aware, but she's a criminal lawyer who used to be a DA, she definitely should!

@Fressia123

My DSis says it would be too late by the time he shows symptoms, so we have to get there before it happens. She's going to take over the case as far as I'm aware, but she's a criminal lawyer who used to be a DA, she definitely should!

You have NO idea if it will be 'too late' by the time he shows symptoms, if he'll get it at all or if he'll be very ill if he does. My mother got it at 79, she has COPD, she was mildly ill.

It's not at all a given.

You're panicking and jumping the gun. Talk to your boss but accept that you may need to leave your job and do not lie to get SSP because that's fraud and you get caught with that you can get in trouble here and your citizenship revoked if you're naturalised.

@rawalpindithelabrador

Repatriation is legally allowed. You're going back to your home country. You don't need to tell them anything else, it's NOT a prison. 'I'm Mexican/Cuban/whatever the OP is. I'm going back to my home country.' That's it.

People do this daily. They are dual nationals.

yes, but then she can't return to the UK can she?

OP, I lived overseas a long way from my parents for a number of years. One of the things we had to take into account in making that decision was that we would not be able to pop backwards and forwards at the drop of a hat. I missed my Granny's funeral, and the birth of my neices and nephews. I was not there when my Mum fell down the stairs and was in hospital and so on.

It is one of the down sides of living away from your family.

In non Covid times, I think you might have had some sympathy, but right now, loads of people are losing loved ones without being able to be there by their bedside. On one thread a couple of weeks ago someone's dh (youngish) was dying in a hospice and the hospice only allowed 2 visitors. Who did she choose? There were 3 of them, wife and 2 teenage kids.

So, while I have huge sympathy to your situation, I think you may need to make the decision that you can't go. If he does sadly get Covid, you wouldn't be able to visit anyway I assume.

And, being blunt, if your sister, aunt and mum are there, you are not 'needed' for any paperwork either.

yes, but then she can't return to the UK can she?

Of course she can! She's a UK citizen, too. She may have to quarantine in a hotel at her own expense if she's returning from a red list country, but yes, you can return.

Where are people getting these outlandish ideas?

People don't die suddenly with Covid, so why would it be too late?

I mean this kindly but this sounds far more like your family is having a crisis and just wants you there, and that you want to be there, than that you need to be there.

Even with his age and health, he's far, far more likely to be fine IF (and big big if) he catches Covid) than to die.

Also (speaking as a family member of someone in prison) he brought this on himself. 20 years ago just means he got away with it for too long. Don't let your family and job become more victims of his criminal behaviour.

Ignore idiots like @rawalpindithelabrador

As of last month, there are further restrictions on when you can lawfully leave the country. The regulations are all available online. Unless OP wants to find herself in prison too, she should probably take a look and get advice on whether she falls within one of the exemptions.