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New lodger - drama already

207 replies

anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 09:23

Just to preface this by explaining that I have never had a lodger before and don't know anyone personally who has lodgers so I don't really know if I'm being mean or not.

The new lodger (I'll call her Jane) only moved in a couple of weeks ago and works away for part of the week doing a training course for now. She would be here all week when the course ends in a couple of weeks, if she passes and will be working shifts as a front line health worker. I thought she would be a good match because of the nature of her job and because she will be doing shifts. Also she came across as being quite sensible/quiet.

It all worked ok aside from a few minor things until the weekend. She left the house at some point in the evening and I was woken up in the early hours to a bit of a racket outside and banging. When I opened the front door she was outside, so drunk that she couldn't speak (despite loud drunken shouting conversation with her mates whilst climbing out a taxi), in pyjamas, and drunkenly swinging a carrier bag full of wine bottles around which was causing the banging and crashing.

She still had not surfaced from her room by 3.30pm the next day, presume still sleeping as I couldn't hear any moving around all day. I went out and got a breezy text from her an hour later along the lines of 'off to work, sorry if I woke you up on my way in last night'. I told her that I actually let her in, which she couldn't remember, and asked her where her keys were. She didn't know, 'think they might be at my friends' but didn't check until I pressed this, and realised then that she doesn't actually know where the keys are, she's lost them.

I got a locksmith out on Monday to change the locks, and she said she would transfer me the money the same day. Still no sign of the money, and she's left my message chasing it on unread. She's actually due back from her course at 2am, and I have no idea whether she plans to just knock on the door for me to let her in or thinks I'm going to leave a key outside for her (I'm not).

I really want to take the stance that I am not letting her back until she's paid the locksmith fee (I've obviously paid the locksmith myself). Would this be awful of me, or justified? Despite some gushing apologies by text on Sunday only when she could see I was a bit pissed off and strange comments about 'I don't drink really, this doesn't happen' (she absolutely does drink, she's had a bit of a drink every night she's been here and asked me several times although I've declined if I want a drink) she obviously isn't as bothered as she says as she's left me to foot the bill for the locks.

OP posts:
cannockcandy · 20/02/2021 18:42

I'd be getting rid. She has broken lockdown rules (which means she could be arrested and fined), potentially exposing a huge number of people to covid and has shown both you and your home no respect at all. She clearly has friends she can stay with and, from the sounds of it, has a drinking problem.
Pack her stuff and give her a time and date to collect it all and make sure you have someone there with you and record the whole interaction.
Good luck xx

TheJackieWeaver · 20/02/2021 19:03

Is she back? Have you told her? I think a mumsnet style “this isn’t working for me” is needed.

riceuten · 20/02/2021 19:55

Given this was a one off, I would be inclined to forgive, but I would warn her that future infractions would mean she's out. I would certainly sit her down and tell her that she needs to shape up or ship out. She may ship out in any case. She may not actually have the money for the locksmith's, which is why she hasn't sent you it.

Not sure of the legality of denying her access to the house. She has what they call a "bare licence" and a reasonable amount of notice would be a week. I think you're on dodgy legal ground there, though to just chuck her out without notice. You are not on dodgy ground giving her notice.

justilou1 · 21/02/2021 06:41

My guess is that her mother has the shits with her ignoring lockdown rules and has kicked her out as well. I think you need to follow suit. Probably with a threat to call police if she throws a tantrum.

Mymindblown · 21/02/2021 17:35

What happened in the end OP? Hope you've been able to resolve it.

Emel1800 · 21/02/2021 19:57

@riceuten

Given this was a one off, I would be inclined to forgive, but I would warn her that future infractions would mean she's out. I would certainly sit her down and tell her that she needs to shape up or ship out. She may ship out in any case. She may not actually have the money for the locksmith's, which is why she hasn't sent you it.

Not sure of the legality of denying her access to the house. She has what they call a "bare licence" and a reasonable amount of notice would be a week. I think you're on dodgy legal ground there, though to just chuck her out without notice. You are not on dodgy ground giving her notice.

If someone is breaking the law- and she clearly is - I think this changes the definition of what is considered “reasonable” notice. She needs to leave, pronto.
AlisonParker1 · 21/02/2021 20:30

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