New lodger - drama already

[anotheronethreadnamechange]

Just to preface this by explaining that I have never had a lodger before and don't know anyone personally who has lodgers so I don't really know if I'm being mean or not.

The new lodger (I'll call her Jane) only moved in a couple of weeks ago and works away for part of the week doing a training course for now. She would be here all week when the course ends in a couple of weeks, if she passes and will be working shifts as a front line health worker. I thought she would be a good match because of the nature of her job and because she will be doing shifts. Also she came across as being quite sensible/quiet.

It all worked ok aside from a few minor things until the weekend. She left the house at some point in the evening and I was woken up in the early hours to a bit of a racket outside and banging. When I opened the front door she was outside, so drunk that she couldn't speak (despite loud drunken shouting conversation with her mates whilst climbing out a taxi), in pyjamas, and drunkenly swinging a carrier bag full of wine bottles around which was causing the banging and crashing.

She still had not surfaced from her room by 3.30pm the next day, presume still sleeping as I couldn't hear any moving around all day. I went out and got a breezy text from her an hour later along the lines of 'off to work, sorry if I woke you up on my way in last night'. I told her that I actually let her in, which she couldn't remember, and asked her where her keys were. She didn't know, 'think they might be at my friends' but didn't check until I pressed this, and realised then that she doesn't actually know where the keys are, she's lost them.

I got a locksmith out on Monday to change the locks, and she said she would transfer me the money the same day. Still no sign of the money, and she's left my message chasing it on unread. She's actually due back from her course at 2am, and I have no idea whether she plans to just knock on the door for me to let her in or thinks I'm going to leave a key outside for her (I'm not).

I really want to take the stance that I am not letting her back until she's paid the locksmith fee (I've obviously paid the locksmith myself). Would this be awful of me, or justified? Despite some gushing apologies by text on Sunday only when she could see I was a bit pissed off and strange comments about 'I don't drink really, this doesn't happen' (she absolutely does drink, she's had a bit of a drink every night she's been here and asked me several times although I've declined if I want a drink) she obviously isn't as bothered as she says as she's left me to foot the bill for the locks.

im pretty sure you only have to give a lodger 24hrs notice if you are living in the house too. I think shes screwed up. This is her on best behaviour

@Outbutnotoutout

A lodger has no rights and can be asked to leave immediately.

Actually this is pretty much true. the law recognises that a lodger is sharing the LL's home, not another house the LL happens to own, and therefore although the law requires reasonable notice, what constitutes reasonable is flexible.

Firstly it depends on how long the lodger has been there, and whether or not that is long enough for the lodger to consider it their home. This lodger has only been there for two weeks and therefore reasonable notice is not as long as it would be for someone who had been living there for three years.

Secondly it depends on the reason for the eviction. If the tenant had been no trouble but the LL wanted her sister to have the room instead, reasonable notice would be a month or even two. However when the reason is unacceptable behaviour, reasonable notice can be much, much less.

Given both these factors, and bearing in mind that the OP knows the lodger wouldn't be out on the streets, asking her to leave at the weekend would constitute reasonable notice.

Do the bare minimum you're legally bound to do to ditch her.
Unless you want more of the same.

Not really relevant but...what sort of a course is she on that means she can’t get home until 2am? Does she have a 6hr drive home?? Or is she factoring in a bit of socialising and boozing after it ends...?

I'd just say to her, Jane we need a chat
Then sit her down tell her this isn't working out, get the money for the locksmiths off her and give her notice - job done

As so often, the first answer nailed it (though I'd say the chances of you seeing the money are nil)

In these particular circumstances, and since she has somewhere to go, you could even do it by text - but certainly get her out of there because this isn't going to get any better

So she goes out socialising with friends during Lockdown, putting herself, and therefore you, at risk. She drove while most likely still over the limit. She lost keys to your home. She has been flakey about repaying money. All this after the first week or so.

She is not your teenage DD. You are not responsible for her. Tell her to leave. All stuff to be gone by the weekend. Do not give her new keys.

If she’s acting like this so soon then I fear it will only get worse.
I’ve been a lodger in the distant past. She wants to be winning you over and bending over to fit in, pay her way and not put you out. Maybe in time when a relationship has developed she can then come in late on rare occasions, even then she needs to be thoughtful.
So soon is a red flag. Get your money and give her notice.

I have, at points in my life, been both a lodger and had lodgers.

It's not a tenancy or a flatshare - as a lodger, you are effectively a paying guest in somebody else's home.

It's generally cheaper than a flatshare because of the conditions and/or restrictions that come with it.

It's up to the lodger to observe their host's rules and the lodgee to spell out and enforce those rules.

End this now, it won't get better.

@fassbendersmistress

Not really relevant but...what sort of a course is she on that means she can’t get home until 2am? Does she have a 6hr drive home?? Or is she factoring in a bit of socialising and boozing after it ends...?

I do wonder about this too, and why it has suddenly changed to being back tomorrow evening?

You have to give her “reasonable” notice... she’s broken the law (lockdown restrictions) and lost her key (putting you in danger of being burgled). I’d say 24 hours is reasonable given you know she has somewhere to go!

Goodbye. If I was feeling generous I might give a weeks notice.

On a practical note. If you have a Yale lock there is no need for a locksmith. You can buy a new core and simply change it yourself. Keep the old core and keys and swap with a friend so that if you need to change it again in the future you have a spare.

Blimey, I’d kick her out now! Return deposit minus lock change amount and tell her to collect her stuff by Sunday.She’s off out partying, so putting you at risk and breaking the law, I couldn’t tolerate that. Being woken at silly o’clock would drive me nuts.

@Esspee

On a practical note. If you have a Yale lock there is no need for a locksmith. You can buy a new core and simply change it yourself. Keep the old core and keys and swap with a friend so that if you need to change it again in the future you have a spare.

The locksmith did actually pass the old core to me and said this would make it much easier next time. Also I think I'll just give her the key to the yale lock when she comes back.

On the bright side, she has just sent me the money.

Someone with so little regard for any rules will have no boundaries. You must get rid.

Give notice, at least debts have been paid. Find out who is organising this course that is leading to such a breach of Covid restrictions and report to the police. I have my doubts that a course is so 'essential' it cannot be done virtually.

She has no respect for you and your property - get rid of quickly, it won’t get any better.

Look at the list of actions

1. Drunken night out with friends, woke you up in the early hours - forgivable if a one off.
2. Not keeping to lockdown rules by partying with friends - tells you who she is, and her lack of respect to others, puts you at risk.
3. Poor and late apology, lies about drinking habits - she doesn’t respect you and shows she doesn’t care about the impact of her behaviour.
4. Loses keys, doesn’t care - lack of respect for you and safety, just about unforgivable.
5. Fails to pay promptly for lock replacement - nope she needs to go now.

She is a self-centred risk taker, who fails to take responsibility for her actions.

Do it in the right order, get the locksmiths fees and then give her notice.

Too much hassle already and it’s only been 2 weeks. Give notice

@Branleuse

im pretty sure you only have to give a lodger 24hrs notice if you are living in the house too. I think shes screwed up. This is her on best behaviour

She can only be a lodger if the landlord is living in the same house, sharing living spaces like kitchen and bathroom.

OK. So now tell her she has to be out by 5pm on Sunday.