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New lodger - drama already

207 replies

anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 09:23

Just to preface this by explaining that I have never had a lodger before and don't know anyone personally who has lodgers so I don't really know if I'm being mean or not.

The new lodger (I'll call her Jane) only moved in a couple of weeks ago and works away for part of the week doing a training course for now. She would be here all week when the course ends in a couple of weeks, if she passes and will be working shifts as a front line health worker. I thought she would be a good match because of the nature of her job and because she will be doing shifts. Also she came across as being quite sensible/quiet.

It all worked ok aside from a few minor things until the weekend. She left the house at some point in the evening and I was woken up in the early hours to a bit of a racket outside and banging. When I opened the front door she was outside, so drunk that she couldn't speak (despite loud drunken shouting conversation with her mates whilst climbing out a taxi), in pyjamas, and drunkenly swinging a carrier bag full of wine bottles around which was causing the banging and crashing.

She still had not surfaced from her room by 3.30pm the next day, presume still sleeping as I couldn't hear any moving around all day. I went out and got a breezy text from her an hour later along the lines of 'off to work, sorry if I woke you up on my way in last night'. I told her that I actually let her in, which she couldn't remember, and asked her where her keys were. She didn't know, 'think they might be at my friends' but didn't check until I pressed this, and realised then that she doesn't actually know where the keys are, she's lost them.

I got a locksmith out on Monday to change the locks, and she said she would transfer me the money the same day. Still no sign of the money, and she's left my message chasing it on unread. She's actually due back from her course at 2am, and I have no idea whether she plans to just knock on the door for me to let her in or thinks I'm going to leave a key outside for her (I'm not).

I really want to take the stance that I am not letting her back until she's paid the locksmith fee (I've obviously paid the locksmith myself). Would this be awful of me, or justified? Despite some gushing apologies by text on Sunday only when she could see I was a bit pissed off and strange comments about 'I don't drink really, this doesn't happen' (she absolutely does drink, she's had a bit of a drink every night she's been here and asked me several times although I've declined if I want a drink) she obviously isn't as bothered as she says as she's left me to foot the bill for the locks.

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 18/02/2021 09:47

No more chances, this is the probation period she should be on best behaviour! And I wouldn't be too kind because she is also putting you at risk of covid. In fact her not having a key might work out well 'it's not working out I'll give you 48 hours to move your things out'.

IthinkIm · 18/02/2021 09:47

No. That doesn't work for you. Thanks anyway.

Say that

Hellogoodpeople · 18/02/2021 09:48

Having recently experienced some lodger drama, I'd probably advise to see how things go over the next couple of weeks and then absolutely not beat yourself up about asking her to leave if she's causing more problems.

You can also let her know the locksmith money will be taken from her deposit.

Good luck!

anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 09:50

Yes that's what I have been thinking, if I give her the new key and a week or two notice period I would definitely want to change the locks again when she leaves which would be such a pain (and also a bit embarrassing!)

She definitely has other places to stay, I know her mum has spare rooms because she told me that she had suggested to her mum that she should get a lodger.

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 18/02/2021 09:50

She should be trying to impress you in the early days. Imagine what she would be like once the honeymoon period is over!

Twickerhun · 18/02/2021 09:51

She’s on her third strike. All in one go. Coming back drunk and waking you up, losing the key. Losing about it all. Breaking lockdown rules and putting you at risk. If she does this in week two it probably won’t get better

Twickerhun · 18/02/2021 09:51

Lieing about it all.

anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 09:52

Sorry, yes I did get a deposit so it could always come out of that.

If she had transferred the money on Monday I would have been more reassured and let her stay, seeing it as an unfortunate blip because she was so 'mortified'. But clearly she isn't that mortified!

OP posts:
theconstantinoplegardener · 18/02/2021 09:52

Gosh, I doubt she was fit to work only 12 hours after getting as drunk as that. She sounds completely irresponsible. I think I'd ask her to leave.

anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 09:53

@theconstantinoplegardener

Gosh, I doubt she was fit to work only 12 hours after getting as drunk as that. She sounds completely irresponsible. I think I'd ask her to leave.
I thought that too. She must have peeled herself out of bed into the car for a long drive to go straight onto shift, and it was so icy too.
OP posts:
Pastelpainter · 18/02/2021 09:55

I’d give her notice now. From the sounds of it this sort of thing is likely to happen again.

Hellogoodpeople · 18/02/2021 10:01

I also agree with a previous poster that the early days sets the tone. I had some big red flags with mine and regret not politely asking her to leave early on... instead of suffering two more years of problems.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/02/2021 10:05

Do you have a contract and what does it say about notice? When has she paid up to? If you have no notice period, I’d give her a very short notice period and not give her a key and be always available to let her in. Deduct the cost of the locks out of the security deposit if you have one. I hope you have one. If not, reduce the number of days notice maybe?

You have to give reasonable notice. But that can vary differently and she can stay with her mum / a friend by the sound of it.

FoolsAssassin · 18/02/2021 10:08

@Hellogoodpeople

I also agree with a previous poster that the early days sets the tone. I had some big red flags with mine and regret not politely asking her to leave early on... instead of suffering two more years of problems.
Ours resulted in huge blow up in the middle of first lockdown at a point we couldn’t ask her to leave. It was really grim and I have learned a lot. Rule number 1 don’t give benefit of doubt at start!
Bobbybobbins · 18/02/2021 10:10

I agree that it is very unlikely things will get better. I lived for a year with 3 girls I had never met for a course - we were all on the same course and none of us knew each other before. I knew the first day we moved in that it wasn't going to work well with one of them and sure enough it didn't get any better. Still friends with the other two.

BunnyRuddington · 18/02/2021 10:14

Glad you haven't given her a key. Definitely keep the money out of the deposit and for me, I'd give her notice today. The Courts are currently serving some documents via WhatsApp as you can see when they've read the message. If she's not around I'd use WhatsApp.

I've not had lodgers but do talk to landlords who are having trouble with tenants very regularly. Her behaviour won't change as others have said. She's set the tone and if anything, things will only get worse.

Has she paid her rent so far?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 18/02/2021 10:17

Id have a really low tolerance for this. It just shows a basic lack of respect tbh. Id be giving her notice. As she doesnt have a contract the notice can be anything you want, but id want to make sure she could find somewhere. Id say no longer than a month.

BunnyRuddington · 18/02/2021 10:18

Id say no longer than a month. I was thinking Saturday would be good Shock

OakSnows · 18/02/2021 10:19

Give her notice. If this is her behaviour during a lockdown when it’s illegal to Party at your mates house then imagine what it’s like during normal times?

ScrapThatThen · 18/02/2021 10:19

Be strong, you are not responsible for her life choices which mean she has lost a place to stay. She has friends to party with and is contact with her mum so she has options. She has not kept her side of the social contract.

cameocat · 18/02/2021 10:19

Definitely give her notice, she sounds irresponsible. Firstly she is at the least a regular drinker, secondly she was out drinking with friends (or at someone's house) and assuming you are in the UK I think that breaks rules in any region? Thirdly she hasn't transferred the money for the locksmith immediately which would she she was sorry and somewhat responsible.

She will of course be very sorry when you let her know she no longer has somewhere to stay but I would stand firm. If nothing else it might teach her a life lesson of how to treat others.

MissKhan1990 · 18/02/2021 10:23

@anotheronethreadnamechange

Sorry, yes I did get a deposit so it could always come out of that.

If she had transferred the money on Monday I would have been more reassured and let her stay, seeing it as an unfortunate blip because she was so 'mortified'. But clearly she isn't that mortified!

Do you have proof she agreed to pay for the locksmith? You need proof if your going to take money from her deposit

Also contract or no contract you exchanged money for rent and therefore that in itself is a contract .

She does have little rights but at the same time, you need to be sure that from your end everything is legal.

PussGirl · 18/02/2021 10:24

She sounds appalling

RootyT00t · 18/02/2021 10:26

Erm....

why is she out drinking at her friends?

IstandwithJackieWeaver · 18/02/2021 10:26

Give her notice now - a week is enough given her behaviour and you've no contract. Deduct the cost of changing the lock from her deposit as it's likely to be the only way you'll get the money from her.

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