Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

New lodger - drama already

207 replies

anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 09:23

Just to preface this by explaining that I have never had a lodger before and don't know anyone personally who has lodgers so I don't really know if I'm being mean or not.

The new lodger (I'll call her Jane) only moved in a couple of weeks ago and works away for part of the week doing a training course for now. She would be here all week when the course ends in a couple of weeks, if she passes and will be working shifts as a front line health worker. I thought she would be a good match because of the nature of her job and because she will be doing shifts. Also she came across as being quite sensible/quiet.

It all worked ok aside from a few minor things until the weekend. She left the house at some point in the evening and I was woken up in the early hours to a bit of a racket outside and banging. When I opened the front door she was outside, so drunk that she couldn't speak (despite loud drunken shouting conversation with her mates whilst climbing out a taxi), in pyjamas, and drunkenly swinging a carrier bag full of wine bottles around which was causing the banging and crashing.

She still had not surfaced from her room by 3.30pm the next day, presume still sleeping as I couldn't hear any moving around all day. I went out and got a breezy text from her an hour later along the lines of 'off to work, sorry if I woke you up on my way in last night'. I told her that I actually let her in, which she couldn't remember, and asked her where her keys were. She didn't know, 'think they might be at my friends' but didn't check until I pressed this, and realised then that she doesn't actually know where the keys are, she's lost them.

I got a locksmith out on Monday to change the locks, and she said she would transfer me the money the same day. Still no sign of the money, and she's left my message chasing it on unread. She's actually due back from her course at 2am, and I have no idea whether she plans to just knock on the door for me to let her in or thinks I'm going to leave a key outside for her (I'm not).

I really want to take the stance that I am not letting her back until she's paid the locksmith fee (I've obviously paid the locksmith myself). Would this be awful of me, or justified? Despite some gushing apologies by text on Sunday only when she could see I was a bit pissed off and strange comments about 'I don't drink really, this doesn't happen' (she absolutely does drink, she's had a bit of a drink every night she's been here and asked me several times although I've declined if I want a drink) she obviously isn't as bothered as she says as she's left me to foot the bill for the locks.

OP posts:
anotheronethreadnamechange · 19/02/2021 21:35

@GCAcademic

It's amazing how many badly behaved lodgers who also happen to be healthcare workers there are out there. So many threads about it.
@GCAcademic ffs. As i suggested to another poster who made passive aggressive comments, just report me?

I'm a key worker myself. There are lots of great key workers about etc. They don't have immunity from being arseholes.

OP posts:
Mamanyt · 19/02/2021 23:46

@Nearlyhalfterm

Did you take a deposit? If so I would give her notice and take the locksmith out of that. I don't think you are suddenly going to start feeling more secure about her living with you.
This. Give her notice either way, or tell her that one more instance will result in an immediate two-week notice. And for goodness' sake, if you take in another lodger, GET THAT DEPOSIT, and lay down some ground rules. Remind them that, while they do pay rent, this is your home. Your home.
Bodynegative · 19/02/2021 23:47

Legally, she should be given a "reasonable" notice period; though she mightn't know this. What is reasonable will depend on what agreement you made, how long she's been there etc. Her behaviour is a danger to you; not only has she lost the house key, but she is breaching Covid rules and could give you it. It worries me that she is in a healthcare role, her disregard for the safety of others is scary, and if she was so pissed she couldn't speak, she would surely still be well over the limit for driving 12 hours later as well as being unfit for work. She's bang out of order in my view.

helpIhateclothesshopping · 19/02/2021 23:49

I would say that if you are in the UK she is breaking lockdown rules and therefore putting you at risk by her behaviour, therefore, regardless of the other issues, she should certainly be leaving. People who take the p**s that early on rarely improve.

Hellsbells35 · 19/02/2021 23:58

We’re in lockdown! She’s putting you massively at risk so Chuck her out. That’s worse than the rest of it!!

maynardgkrebs · 20/02/2021 00:01

You're not being mean. This is her in the 'honeymoon period' when she would be on her best behaviour. It's unlikely to be anything but more of the same or downhill from here.

Get rid. Swiftly! Her mum probably doesn't want this nonsense in her spare room, but that's not your problem.

CornishTiger · 20/02/2021 00:07

She has a licence agreement. You only have to give reasonable notice that can be immediate if necessary. I’d give her 10 days to be gone.

CornishTiger · 20/02/2021 00:08

Actually scrub that. I’d go with 48hrs she’s not obeying lockdown

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/02/2021 07:23

If she’s not staying in what is supposed to be her home, socialising and sharing taxis, she’s clearly breaking lockdown law in a number of ways.

Have you given her her marching orders yet?

Thismummyruns · 20/02/2021 07:35

Wow, imagine what she could be like when COVID restrictions are eased/lifted etc.

Emel1800 · 20/02/2021 07:49

If she’s breaching covid rules then I think that affects what a court would consider “reasonable” - I think you could ask her to go immediately. When I took my current lodger I made an agreement that breaking covid rules was grounds for termination.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 20/02/2021 09:23

I'm usually a bit soft in situations like this but I would have no qualms here about giving her notice. None at all.

anotheronethreadnamechange · 20/02/2021 10:46

@Mummyoflittledragon

If she’s not staying in what is supposed to be her home, socialising and sharing taxis, she’s clearly breaking lockdown law in a number of ways.

Have you given her her marching orders yet?

No, I was all set to brace myself and do it when she was due back on Thursday/Friday morning but then it became Friday evening and now it's this evening. Which sort of scuppers the idea of her having plenty of time to move out this weekend as I think she sets off again tomorrow afternoon.
OP posts:
PhoneTVRadio · 20/02/2021 10:54

Tell her straight away! Send a message. Just get it sorted.

MeridianB · 20/02/2021 10:57

Yup, if she keeps changing when she is coming back then just text her and give her to the end of this weekend. She clearly has lots of alternative places to go!

isitsafetocomeoutyet · 20/02/2021 11:01

Text her to let me know now.

She's using your good nature to drag this out.

isitsafetocomeoutyet · 20/02/2021 11:01

Let HER know now

Not me. I don't want to know...!
Thanks autocorrect

Underpaidsnackbitch · 20/02/2021 11:10

I don't think the lodger is being honest about her course. Sounds like she is off having fun with friends or a boyfriend and using your home as a convenient place to crash when she has no where else to go. She's putting you and the people you work with at risk with her behaviour. I would sent a text now to say she has to be out in 48 hours

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/02/2021 14:34

Mummyoflittledragon
If she’s not staying in what is supposed to be her home, socialising and sharing taxis, she’s clearly breaking lockdown law in a number of ways.

Have you given her her marching orders yet?

OP
No, I was all set to brace myself and do it when she was due back on Thursday/Friday morning but then it became Friday evening and now it's this evening. Which sort of scuppers the idea of her having plenty of time to move out this weekend as I think she sets off again tomorrow afternoon.

Just tell her by text then. She's to collect her stuff by Sunday afternoon. Otherwise she could piss you about for weeks.

needsahouseboy · 20/02/2021 14:43

Just tell her to leave. I got rid of a lodger after 2 weeks because of drinking excessively and that wasn’t even in lockdown.
Don’t give her a new key.
Take locksmith bill out of her deposit and tell her to come pick up her stuff.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/02/2021 14:43

@Underpaidsnackbitch

I don't think the lodger is being honest about her course. Sounds like she is off having fun with friends or a boyfriend and using your home as a convenient place to crash when she has no where else to go. She's putting you and the people you work with at risk with her behaviour. I would sent a text now to say she has to be out in 48 hours
I agree - especially given that "she only has a tiny amount of stuff here?"
Snowymcsnowsony · 20/02/2021 14:45

Send her a text saying her stuff is packed up and she needs to collect by tomorrow..

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/02/2021 14:59

As everyone else has said, please just text her.

1WayOrAnother2 · 20/02/2021 18:37

She seems to be avoiding you! (I wonder why :) ) You had probably best tell her by text - that gives her more time to get sorted out.

HunkyPunk · 20/02/2021 18:41

Text her to let me know now.

I know you corrected yourself, but in reality, this is what we all really want, when we become over-invested in a thread Grin

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.