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Original poster

New lodger - drama already

207 replies

anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 09:23

Just to preface this by explaining that I have never had a lodger before and don't know anyone personally who has lodgers so I don't really know if I'm being mean or not.

The new lodger (I'll call her Jane) only moved in a couple of weeks ago and works away for part of the week doing a training course for now. She would be here all week when the course ends in a couple of weeks, if she passes and will be working shifts as a front line health worker. I thought she would be a good match because of the nature of her job and because she will be doing shifts. Also she came across as being quite sensible/quiet.

It all worked ok aside from a few minor things until the weekend. She left the house at some point in the evening and I was woken up in the early hours to a bit of a racket outside and banging. When I opened the front door she was outside, so drunk that she couldn't speak (despite loud drunken shouting conversation with her mates whilst climbing out a taxi), in pyjamas, and drunkenly swinging a carrier bag full of wine bottles around which was causing the banging and crashing.

She still had not surfaced from her room by 3.30pm the next day, presume still sleeping as I couldn't hear any moving around all day. I went out and got a breezy text from her an hour later along the lines of 'off to work, sorry if I woke you up on my way in last night'. I told her that I actually let her in, which she couldn't remember, and asked her where her keys were. She didn't know, 'think they might be at my friends' but didn't check until I pressed this, and realised then that she doesn't actually know where the keys are, she's lost them.

I got a locksmith out on Monday to change the locks, and she said she would transfer me the money the same day. Still no sign of the money, and she's left my message chasing it on unread. She's actually due back from her course at 2am, and I have no idea whether she plans to just knock on the door for me to let her in or thinks I'm going to leave a key outside for her (I'm not).

I really want to take the stance that I am not letting her back until she's paid the locksmith fee (I've obviously paid the locksmith myself). Would this be awful of me, or justified? Despite some gushing apologies by text on Sunday only when she could see I was a bit pissed off and strange comments about 'I don't drink really, this doesn't happen' (she absolutely does drink, she's had a bit of a drink every night she's been here and asked me several times although I've declined if I want a drink) she obviously isn't as bothered as she says as she's left me to foot the bill for the locks.

OP posts:
Original poster
anotheronethreadnamechange · 18/02/2021 10:29

Do you have proof she agreed to pay for the locksmith? You need proof if your going to take money from her deposit

Yes, she sent me a message on Sunday evening promising to pay on Monday.

She's finally read my message chasing up the money (wonder if she's seen this thread 😬) but hasn't responded yet.

So if she does knock on the door at 2am it sounds like I actually do have to let her in at least for now?

OP posts:
Letsallscreamatthesistene · 18/02/2021 10:58

If you dont want to get up out of bed you could pre-warn her that you wont be doing this and she needs to stay at a friends house. Although that breaks lockdown rules of course. She doesnt seem to care about that though, if she was drinking with a load of people.

2BDIs · 18/02/2021 11:14

I've had lodgers before. The young guy was lovely and polite, never a bother.
In your shoes I would give her her a weeks notice and tell her she has to leave.
If you let these things slide now she will just get worse and take more advantage until she is taking over your house and making you feel like the lodger. Or having drunken parties, breaking things, leaving you open to being burgled by losing house keys again, not locking front door etc
This is akin to an abusive relationship and unless you nip it in the bud now you will make your life unbearable

AnathemaPulsifer · 18/02/2021 11:14

I would let her in, don’t give her a key, and tell her to move out when she wakes up.

TheyIsMyFamily · 18/02/2021 11:19

Don't let her in until she transfers the money, then tell her to gather her things and go to her mothers. Nightmare!

AlwaysCheddar · 18/02/2021 11:26

She’s out with friends in lockdown... I’d kick her out.

PilatesPeach · 18/02/2021 11:31

If this was a relationship, we'd all be shouting about red flags - same with lodger - has not started well- I think you have had a taste of things to come - get rid.

RaininSummer · 18/02/2021 11:33

Give her notice and take the locksmith money from her deposit. If she can't be on her best respectful behaviour 5 mins after moving in, this will only get worse I think.

Throwntothewolves · 18/02/2021 11:36

Get rid. She's irresponsible with your property (keys) and behaviour (out drinking with friends in a lockdown), and clearly doesn't care if it impacts you at all. Plus she claims she doesn't drink yet was wasted the other day and has been drinking most nights you've seen her, as well as trying to get you to join her. I wouldn't be surprised if she has an alcohol problem (classic signs, denial, minimising, getting others to do the same).

BlueTimes · 18/02/2021 11:44

I would let her in at 2am if she knocks. Don’t get her a set of keys and tell her she needs to leave this weekend.

MissKhan1990 · 18/02/2021 11:47

@anotheronethreadnamechange

Do you have proof she agreed to pay for the locksmith? You need proof if your going to take money from her deposit

Yes, she sent me a message on Sunday evening promising to pay on Monday.

She's finally read my message chasing up the money (wonder if she's seen this thread 😬) but hasn't responded yet.

So if she does knock on the door at 2am it sounds like I actually do have to let her in at least for now?

I would send her a message letting her know that if she comes back to your home. You won't be letting her in past a certain time i.e 2am. She needs to be in thr house at a reasonable hour. Also start the notice period from today. She will need time to collect her things so she will need to enter the property at some point anyway.
WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 18/02/2021 11:48

I'd tell her via whatsapp that it's not going to work & that she can arrange a time to collect her things. She has plenty of options for a place to stay.

She would piss me off with her irresponsibility around her behaviour (drinking with mates, driving while still UTI) & her job. I don't tolerate fools at all, let alone in MY home.

oil0W0lio · 18/02/2021 11:53

Oh dear🤦🏼‍♀️

suggestionsplease1 · 18/02/2021 12:01

You have to let her in OP! Things might not be going well and you need to address that and give notice or whatever, but not letting her in to a room she is renting from you, where she sleeps, has her own stuff etc at is an abuse of power.

Levirandal · 18/02/2021 12:04

I’d get her out to be honest. Normally in the first month you’d be on your best behaviour. Having a drink but getting so wasted that you’re woken up and having to help her in along with losing her keys is awful. I’d have been mortified losing someone else’s keys. Could this possibly be one of the reasons she’s not staying with her mum because she’s a liability?

Misunderstoodagain · 18/02/2021 12:21

Ignore the comments telling you to keep her locked out and tell her to leave, its not legal in anyway and she would have the right to call the police to be let in. Even without a contract. Normally its 30 days notice with out a contract, well it used to be. If she has paid rent for example for the next 4 weeks then you cannot ask her to leave before that time without refunding her the difference. You would be best explaining to her that your not happy with the arrangement anymore and you would like to give her notice. Keep the lock Smith money from the deposit and be done with it.

Makingnumber2 · 18/02/2021 12:23

I think you need to let her in.
Then tomorrow have the chat- give her a week's notice, take locksmith costs from her deposit at the end of the week notice if she hasn't paid up by then and only give her the key to the top lock of your front door, if you have 2 locks- e.g. yale and chubb lock, only give her the yale lock key. That way you don't need to worry about needing to change locks again once she's gone for good.

Misunderstoodagain · 18/02/2021 12:24

*also you have to give her a key, also ignore PPs who are telling you not to give her a copy. You can't take rent and then lock her out with no means to access her bed or property.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 18/02/2021 12:28

Normally its 30 days notice with out a contract, There is no normal for a lodger. The only guideline is the word "reasonable". It is worded like that to allow landlords to remove dangerous lodgers with immediate effect. OP, given her story, would be within her rights to tell her lodger to leave at the weekend.

But yes, she has to let her in, to sleep in a bed she has paid for and has not yet been given notice to quit. But that notice can be 48 hours if that is proportionate and reasonable!

Outbutnotoutout · 18/02/2021 12:38

A lodger has no rights and can be asked to leave immediately.

BunnyRuddington · 18/02/2021 12:38
  • There is no normal for a lodger. The only guideline is the word "reasonable". It is worded like that to allow landlords to remove dangerous lodgers with immediate effect. OP, given her story, would be within her rights to tell her lodger to leave at the weekend.

But yes, she has to let her in, to sleep in a bed she has paid for and has not yet been given notice to quit. But that notice can be 48 hours if that is proportionate and reasonable!*

Totally agree. I think that would be proportionate given that she woke up OP to be let in and wouldn't admit that she'd lost her keys and hadn't yet paid for the locksmith.

Add in the broken Covid rules and I think 48 yours is extremely fair.

MissKhan1990 · 18/02/2021 12:52

@Outbutnotoutout

A lodger has no rights and can be asked to leave immediately.
No. This is not true.
BlueTimes · 18/02/2021 12:57

@Misunderstoodagain

Ignore the comments telling you to keep her locked out and tell her to leave, its not legal in anyway and she would have the right to call the police to be let in. Even without a contract. Normally its 30 days notice with out a contract, well it used to be. If she has paid rent for example for the next 4 weeks then you cannot ask her to leave before that time without refunding her the difference. You would be best explaining to her that your not happy with the arrangement anymore and you would like to give her notice. Keep the lock Smith money from the deposit and be done with it.
If you are in England, this is not true.
GreyGoose1980 · 18/02/2021 13:05

I had lodgers for a couple of years OP. Your lodger’s behaviour is not normal and I’d give her notice. Some issues you can resolve like minor ones around parking or a partner staying over a bit too often but I don’t think I could come back from this.

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