What have you been judged for?

[Lockdownshmockdown]

Similar to another thread: what do you silently judge people for?

What have you been judged for in the past?

I have been judged for my political opinions and also for feeding the cat too many prawns

Being a mother and in a same- sex marriage.

Judging by the judging thread, being fat.

Having 6 children
Having my first very young
Living in a rented house

Having a large gap between my kids.
When I became pregnant with my 3rd and final my oldest was 12 (so really not that big of a gap)
Yet the amount of people that were astounded and even told me.

Being what others consider a fussy eater! 🙄

I just like very plain food. Can't abide garlic, any sort of vinegar, mayo, Italian food - pasta, pizza etc., goats cheese, Camembert, blue cheeses etc.

It appears a meal can't be produced outside of my home without including something from the above.

I have stopped eating out or at friends'/relatives' as the stress just isn't worth it. Apparently I am some sort of alien! ☹️

Having a baby at 42.
Living in social housing.
Being Diabetic.

Having a child at 22. Being divorced by age 23. Being on benefits for 4 years. Not bothering with further education. Having a father in prison. Doing elf on the shelf. Not knowing how to drive. Using bleach. And probably a lot more.

Being reasonably successful in my career and having a decent income (when I was working). I was made redundant in June last year due to the organisation I worked for closing down, but some people still judge me and it seems to be because I am confident and marginally intelligent.

Using a wheelchair even though I can walk a bit

Having a baby when I was a teenager
Having a council house
Having 7 children
Having children with medical issues and daring to make sure they got appropriate help and support
Being a sahm

At work, I’m judged for being Northern and therefore having a Northern accent

Having lots of sex when I was younger
Getting pregnant when not in a relationship
Being a sahm
Home educating

Probably loads more too

Oh and being a b***d! 😂

Born in the mid 50's within a VERY Irish Catholic family. I was often referred to as, "The Divil's Child", (not misspelt - how it was pronounced), and blamed for ruining my mother's life. 😂😂😂

Unsurprisingly, I have been NC with any of them for 30 years plus.

@Thesearmsofmine

Having lots of sex when I was younger Getting pregnant when not in a relationship Being a sahm Home educating

Probably loads more too

Good for you! We will also be homeschooling and are unwavering in our decision. Much judgement from others about this.

For not having children. I changed Drs as she lectured me when I went in for the pill as she said I'd get to 57 and regret my decision (not quite sure why that age but hey ho)

I responded to that thread just a few minutes ago. Pretty much everything I've ever done with and for my dc has been judged by people commenting on there.

I'm fat; I sent my dc to nursery when they were between 7-9 months old; I sent my dc to nursery even when I had a day off; my dc stayed over with various relatives several times before they were 6 months old; I live in social housing; I feed my dc ready meals; I don't have much in the way of ambition; both dc were bottle fed; they play out on the street unsupervised (or, at least, they do when we're not in lockdown)...

I could go on but it's a bit depressing. I'm not bothered by how other people see me but a lot of people are and will read that thread and then worry about the things then do that are just normal and that most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at.

What do people actually mean by "being judged" - someone forming an opinion of you that is more negative than you think is fair?
Or do you mean someone has confronted you on something or acted differently towards you?

I'm never quite sure what this means in MN threads. Often just seems to me it means identifying where people's priorities or preconceptions differ?

Raffles has given a good example of what she means.

Getting pregnant at 15
Being a SAHM
Driving an SUV
Being “posh”
Using scent boosters in my laundry....

@Autumnchill

For not having children. I changed Drs as she lectured me when I went in for the pill as she said I'd get to 57 and regret my decision (not quite sure why that age but hey ho)

Wow. Specifically judgemental. You were right to change doctors.

When my 4 year old was 3 (pre covid), he CRAWLED through the supermarket. It was gross. I was definitely judged. However he is finally having an autism assessment, was too big for the trolley and went mental every time I touched him. And I had my two year old with me in fact, I judge myself.

I topk my children with me to the Supermarket in April.

@MindGrapes

What do people actually mean by "being judged" - someone forming an opinion of you that is more negative than you think is fair? Or do you mean someone has confronted you on something or acted differently towards you?

I'm never quite sure what this means in MN threads. Often just seems to me it means identifying where people's priorities or preconceptions differ?

Raffles has given a good example of what she means.

This is all fair. I suppose it means when people form unfair opinions on you based on small specific aspects of your life.

Apart from extreme examples it really does just come down to a difference of opinion. But I can disagree with someone without looking down my nose at them. I suppose that's the judgey part- looking down on someone for something and assuming it "sums them up" in some way.

Marrying a much older man
Home edding

I guess it's a shorthand for "assumed to have some sort of moral failing".
Eg thinking someone has some character flaw because they're overweight - if you set it out like that it's a nonsensical and illogical conclusion, so says more about the "judger" in that case!

I have been judged for being blonde (I am not stupid nor an airhead or any other thing blonde people are stereotyped as).

I am judged for not having a degree.

I have been judged for being fat.

I have been judged because of my mental ill health.

I have been judged because of where I live.

I have been judged for being a SAHP - I am a carer to disabled daughter. I must admit I am probably judgemental towards myself with regard this.

I was judged for being a young-ish single parent.

There are lots more things I have been judged for but I do have friends who are far from judgemental and for that I am grateful.

I think I only feel 'judged' on Mumsnet ... in RL people don't make nasty comments to me - so, in Mumsnet terms;
Having an only child, sleep training from a very young age, following a routine, sending DS to pre school when I was a SAHM, actually being a SAHM until DS was 12, using a Kid's Club on holiday, joining PTAs (& enjoying it ) ..... do I care? No, people should have confidence in their own decisions.