What have you been judged for?

[Lockdownshmockdown]

Similar to another thread: what do you silently judge people for?

What have you been judged for in the past?

I have been judged for my political opinions and also for feeding the cat too many prawns

Being a single parent to 2 children, and all 3 of us have adhd. One also has tourettes.

None of my neighbours with children really talk to us. Some actually go out of their way to make life unpleasant for us. They're all very cliquey with each other, so they see it as our problem, not theirs.
One dump their car awkwardly in my visitor space for 4 months and refuse to move it. I got shouted at for asking them to at least park it properly 🙄 Had to do a 12 point turn every time I wanted to park. Luckily they moved it this week! I was getting irrationally angry every time I went out, and had to talk myself out of ramming the stupid thing several times!

Owning a BMW, with a private plate
Having children to different dads
Having a child in my 40s

According to the other thread...

Quite frankly I couldn't give a fuck! I am well educated/qualified, far out earn my partner and work hard to provide for my family. Meh 🙄

My friend judged me a lot because my 5 year old still sleeps in my bed, I just cannot get her to sleep in her own bed and she’s always been a terrible sleeper, truly awful. My friend has always been very proud of her perfect sleeper and put it down to her good parenting techniques, she would give me advice on what I was doing wrong. Now she has a 3 year old who is a terrible sleeper, won’t go to bed and gets in her bed.

Not being a vegan, by my son.

Which is nice.

Having post-natal depression.

Being fat
Being northern (but no accent)
Being ginger

Getting a tutor for DD during lockdown to help her keep up with Maths and English. Her school's home learning is less than stellar to put it mildly. Its 1 hour a week but apparently I'm putting unnecessary pressure on her which may put her off learning for life.

Refusing to join in after work drinking sessions and not 'smiling enough' in the office. The last 10 months WFH have been a godsend.

And oh yes...sending DD to her childminder while I was on Mat Leave with newborn DS. I could have kept her at home with us so she didn't feel pushed out. Poor DD. She's clearly on a one way trip to a life of failure due to her awful upbringing.

Using a toilet brush by members of MN but in the real world having a piercing in a prominent place. I had it done at 18 (25 years ago) and the looks and comments I got were awful!

Having my first two DC close together (19 months apart)
Breastfeeding
Bottlefeeding
Having PND
Having 3rd DC after 6/7 year gap
Having 3rd DC
Reading books (anti-social and 'up myself' according to ex in-laws)
Not drinking alcohol
And now I'm older, divorced: being 'on benefits', being mentally ill, not wearing fashionable clothes, my political opinions, having a chronic illness, my resolve not to take any shit from anyone.
I suppose whatever you do/don't do someone will make assumptions about you based on that. A lot of people can only feel they're getting it right if they can point out someone getting it wrong.

Being fat
Living in social housing
Cutting people out
Single parent

Having 4 kids, one with arfid, one adhd odd, another with autism adhd and lots of other disorders and the last one having adhd

Lots!
Choosing to have an only child
Buying a new build, then buying an older house (can't win there!)
Being anti Brexit
Shopping in Primark
Going to bed too early.
Getting takeaways
Having a tiny car etc etc

Having my 4/5 year old in a buggy. I used to see people looking at me but the fact was he was an excellent walker and still is. Both my children are. We kept the double a long time as would go on 20km walks and he would manage pretty much all of it even pre 5, just having a sit in the buggy for the last bit of it. I remember people actually saying things in the street - isn’t he a bit old for that? Really fucking annoying.

Oh and also for my babies having been shit sleepers.

Lots of dcs
Age gaps

Bottlefeeding
Breastfeeding
Sending Dc to nursery at 6 months even though was a sahm
Being a sahm
Co-sleeping
Trying to feed dcs a healthy diet
Ending unhealthy relationships
Having a child with sen
Working after being a sahm
Trying to loose weight
Not leaving dbaby at home when dh and I went away for a weekend
Spending ‘too much’ on holidays

Having more than two children
Being thin
Being NC with my parents
Being divorced
Having a 'job' rather than a 'career' even though I've got two degrees.
Not driving for years (I started when I was 37).

Working part-time because I had a child.
Working full time when I had a child.
Walking everywhere because I can't drive.
Not being able to drive because of various health reasons. Apparently I should have learned anyway.

Being a mother and travelling internationally for work.

So many older women have turned their noses up and in the same breath told me how hard their poor son in laws or similar work for their families and hate being away.

It breaks my heart leaving DS and its one of the few good things to have come from Covid.

I remember flying to Hong Kong was DS was 14 months and sobbing in the feeding room at Dubai as I pumped and dumped.

EVERYTHING I do is for my son and his future.

For being slim! Have been called a skinny bitch and have been told to go and eat a burger 🙄 that was in Tesco not that long ago!
I’m 6ft and naturally slim-and I bloody love burgers!

A few

But the one that really sticks in my mind is the one the previous poster mentioned.

From the age of 17 onwards when I first took driving lessons I was hounded by people about how it was going.

I was bad at it. I was horrendous actually. I was a fucking danger on the damn roads. I was never ever going to pass and I had an underlying medical issue that made learning itself more challenging than the average person.

When I dropped lessons, people in my family, friends acquaintances, kept pressurising me to go back "You NEED to drive it will change your life"

I tried on 4 separate occasions with 4 separate teachers

I must have wasted thousands in lessons for a test I never took because I was HOPELESS and not physically capable of it

And I wasted that money purely because I felt so judged for not persevering.

Using reigns on my twins. With an older child as well I found them invaluable and had zero fucks about people judging me and saying I must treat my girls like dogs.
The posh people in the south of France judge like no one else on the planet.

Leaving my exhusband and him having residence of our two boys. He didn't want to share care and loose his maintenance 🙄
Moving 50 miles away from my two children, who I still see 3/4 days a week.
Having a 3rd child at 39, boys are 13 and 9 so I'm starting again.
Being vegetarian. Now for not being vegetarian.
Giving up alcohol.
Practising yoga, must be some sort of hippy.
Being NC with my mother. Less judgement more pity.
Having tattoos and piercings.
Not having TVs in bedrooms.

Smoking
Drinking
Being overweight
‘Allowing’ my 19 year old DD to have a tattoo or 4 and, encouraging her to be greedy in terms of being bisexual.

@Freetodowhatiwant

Having my 4/5 year old in a buggy. I used to see people looking at me but the fact was he was an excellent walker and still is. Both my children are. We kept the double a long time as would go on 20km walks and he would manage pretty much all of it even pre 5, just having a sit in the buggy for the last bit of it. I remember people actually saying things in the street - isn’t he a bit old for that? Really fucking annoying.

Oh and also for my babies having been shit sleepers.

That's infuriating. Judged by folk who have no idea that the kiddo has been walking further than many of them would even bother.

Formula feeding not because I couldn’t breastfeed but because I didn’t want to. I got a lot of sympathy when I wanted to breastfeed ds1 and couldn’t because of complications at the birth. With ds2 I decided to formula feed from the start and the amount of judgment I got for that was astounding.