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Original poster

DH is in hospital and really struggling with some of the other patients

203 replies

Doffodils · 15/01/2021 19:39

He's been in a week, is in a lot of pain, can't sit up by himself and hasn't been out of bed since he got there.

He's on a general ward where most of the other patients are elderly with some level of dementia. For the first few days there was a man who kept stripping naked and trying to "escape" with lots of disruption during the night, which was irritating and amusing for DH in equal measure.

Now there's a man who seems to think all DH's possessions belong to him. DH is "joking" but he said he'll have to sleep with one eye open. It must be really stressful for him knowing he can't move to defend his stuff. He's keeping everything in reach because if he puts it in his locker he has to call a nurse to get it for him when he wants it.

I can't visit, so haven't seen it myself and haven't spoken to the staff but what should happen in a situation like this? It's obviously a very sad situation for the man concerned and difficult for the staff but surely DH should feel safe in hospital?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 15/01/2021 19:43

I suppose he just has to keep anything that he'd be upset to lose locked away. Money, phone unless it's in his hand etc. I suppose it's annoying more than anything, thinking he can't leave a paperback or a bottle of drink there, but realistically nothing is going to wander very far and a nurse could retrieve things.

It doesn't sound like he's in an unsafe situation, so try not to worry too much.

Original poster
Doffodils · 15/01/2021 21:02

I think it would be fairly distressing to have anything taken whilst so vulnerable in hospital?

OP posts:
MMMarmite · 15/01/2021 21:09

I'm sorry, that sounds really frustrating on top of being ill. Has he alerted the nurses? Presumably the thief wouldn't be able to get very far, it would be obvious who had taken the items and they could be retrieved.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 15/01/2021 21:15

This person also shouldn't be allowed to keep approaching him, I'd say in hospital, social distancing is even more important.

blue25 · 15/01/2021 21:18

Every time a member of my family has been in hospital, there have been similar patients. Shouting out, distressed, confused, vomiting everywhere. It’s really horrible, but seems to be almost normal unfortunately.

Bargebill19 · 15/01/2021 21:19

I would have thought the issue with things wondering across the ward, is one of possible cross infection, when the items are returned, but not sanitised first. It happens far to easily.

Original poster
Doffodils · 15/01/2021 21:20

Who shouldn't be allowing it? The man's not under constant supervision.

I don't know what the answer is but I know I'd be stressed enough at the worry of an undiagnosed incredibly painful condition and being in hospital for a week already with no privacy and now this.

OP posts:
Cactusowl · 15/01/2021 21:27

DD(19) and DH have both been in hospital recently. DD was lucky enough to have her own room but could still hear other patients shouting and found walking to the toilet intimidating sometimes due to the comments one woman was making.
DH struggled even more, he has ASD so that made it harder to deal with. There was constant noise and was the least restful place to be but needed to be there as he as so ill.

I think it’s quite common for hospitals to be like they and it’s probably a little worse at the moment as visitors who would usually help the patients aren’t in leading to more distress.

Bargebill19 · 15/01/2021 21:27

Ideally (in a perfect world) the agitated patient would receive one to one nursing/supervision.
Even without COVID-19 this wouldn’t be achieved. A family member would be expected to stay 24/7 with the patient.
Today wards are so stretched, and visitors not allowed.... I don’t know what the solution could be.

Maverickess · 15/01/2021 21:33

Many medical conditions can cause confusion, or can exacerbate something like dementia.

There's no way really to stop some people with dementia wandering, or shouting out, taking other people's things without physical or pharmaceutical restraint, until there's dedicated wards for people with confusion /dementia, and they need treatment, they'll be on the general wards with everyone else.

You can do so much to divert and distract, and yes it's not great for the other patients, but a wards main objective is to medically treat people, they're not staffed or set up to provide 1:1 constant care, especially at the moment.

YesMeLady · 15/01/2021 21:35

I sympathise, it's awful not being able to relax and recover but this seems the norm in hospitals. Can you afford to move him to a private room if they have them. Is he in a bay. Could the staff arrange for a member of staff to always be in the bay. I personally would contact PALS and infection control for a solution, it's really distressing.

crankysaurus · 15/01/2021 21:35

I had one night in a ward like that after surgery recently and slept maybe two hours. Not fun.
If he's having to keep things close, could you take him a draw string bag or something to tuck under his blanket or pillow? And headphones, as soundproof as you can. Plus one of those sleeping eye masks.

Scaredykittycat · 15/01/2021 21:35

Can he get a private room?

WeeDangerousSpike · 15/01/2021 21:36

I agree that every time I've been in hospital there have been patients with mental impairments that have been disruptive to the other patients or even violent to the staff. There was a woman who screeched constantly, 24 hrs a day, incoherent and couldn't communicate. A woman who slapped a nurse when she tried to do blood pressure / temp etc, and kept getting up in the night and taking my water jug and cup to her table instead, I kept waking up to her looming over me. That was quite scary.

Yes your DP should feel safe, but I don't know what the staff can do. Especially at the moment when there's even less staff available than normal. I think if I were him I'd keep things like my phone in the bed with me, and only have stuff out that are hospital issue and easily replaced if the chap takes them (like the water jug, etc). It's not right, but would hopefully mean he can relax a bit more.

CoolCovidCat · 15/01/2021 21:37

God, that sounds absolutely awful. I know times are hard and the NHS is really struggling with the influx of covid patients, but being ill, vulnerable and having to protect your belongings from theft sounds horrendous.

Does he alert staff each time it happens?

It's so distressing that the NHS is so underfunded.

oo0Tinkerbell0oo · 15/01/2021 21:41

Shouldn't be allowed......social distancing and all that........if only it were that easy. Unfortunately staff dont have all the answers.......this is a common occurence in wards with patients with Dementia, infections eg. Some will wander for hours on end not bothering anyone, some will interfere with other patients belongings etc, some will shout and scream, some can be coaxed to return to their bed space, others may get violent and have to be observed from a distance, then you'll have escapees and the list goes on and on.....it's an extremely hard job working on this type of ward physically and mentally. Unfortunately patients come that dont have issues like this and it's not a nice place for them to be, we try out best by all patients but we dont have a magic wand.

Greysparkles · 15/01/2021 21:41

Can he get a private room?

Where?!

AcornAutumn · 15/01/2021 21:45

I'm really sorry to hear this

But it is par for the course - bloody disgrace.

How long is he likely to be in?

My mum has discharged herself from hospital in the past as it's been such a pain.

HelloDaisy · 15/01/2021 21:45

@crankysaurus

I had one night in a ward like that after surgery recently and slept maybe two hours. Not fun. If he's having to keep things close, could you take him a draw string bag or something to tuck under his blanket or pillow? And headphones, as soundproof as you can. Plus one of those sleeping eye masks.
Good idea to take a draw string bag in for him to keep his stuff in by his pillow. It will all be within his reach then but away from others.
frumpety · 15/01/2021 21:45

Honestly ? I think I would be more concerned about the fact that he has been immobile in hospital for a week and you still have no idea what is causing him to be unable to move unaided and what is causing him so much pain. Sod naked man not literally and closet kleptomaniac, that is a fairly long time to be in without any whiff of a diagnosis !

user184628462 · 15/01/2021 21:45

I'm sorry. Our hospitals are shit.

IdentifyingCreamCake · 15/01/2021 21:46

When I was in hospital in a lot of pain there was a very disturbed woman who spent the whole night shouting abuse at no one in particular, saying violent and threatening things about how she was going to kill someone, everyone was a fcking cnt, etc etc. There was a man told to sit at the end of her bed who was apparently ‘security’ but he did fuck all and no one was even asking her to be quiet. She was in the bed next to me and she kept leaping out of bed and trying to come through the curtains, it was terrifying to be honest, she was completely psychotic. I complained several times and nothing was done until I told them I was going to discharge myself because I didn’t feel safe. Went on for hours. They don’t know what to do with these people, there’s no mental health beds available, they can’t get a section.

Although it sounds annoying for your DH it sounds like he is at least safe so he will just have to hide his valuables. Sorry op.

Hugoslavia · 15/01/2021 21:46

My husband had a similar experience. Was out on a ward with three elderly men, who spent the entire time fighting and calling each other bastards! They would then make up with each other again and then an hour later would be back to fighting again, then would help each other to the toilet. Apparently the three of them had been holed up together for weeks. He didn't feel unsafe, but he didn't get much rest and couldn't wait to escape.

AcornAutumn · 15/01/2021 21:46

@CoolCovidCat

God, that sounds absolutely awful. I know times are hard and the NHS is really struggling with the influx of covid patients, but being ill, vulnerable and having to protect your belongings from theft sounds horrendous.

Does he alert staff each time it happens?

It's so distressing that the NHS is so underfunded.

My dad was a doctor

This happened when the NHS had lots of cash injections

They spend it on directors who do nothing of value.

RoseMartha · 15/01/2021 21:47

That must be unsettling for him.

Once when I was in my 20s I had to have surgery and first I ended up as the youngest patient in the children's ward. Next day they moved to a medical geriatric ward. The reason I am mentioning it, is your poor dh's experience reminded me there were some interesting goings on in the geriatric ward while I was there.

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