DH is in hospital and really struggling with some of the other patients

[Doffodils]

He's been in a week, is in a lot of pain, can't sit up by himself and hasn't been out of bed since he got there.

He's on a general ward where most of the other patients are elderly with some level of dementia. For the first few days there was a man who kept stripping naked and trying to "escape" with lots of disruption during the night, which was irritating and amusing for DH in equal measure.

Now there's a man who seems to think all DH's possessions belong to him. DH is "joking" but he said he'll have to sleep with one eye open. It must be really stressful for him knowing he can't move to defend his stuff. He's keeping everything in reach because if he puts it in his locker he has to call a nurse to get it for him when he wants it.

I can't visit, so haven't seen it myself and haven't spoken to the staff but what should happen in a situation like this? It's obviously a very sad situation for the man concerned and difficult for the staff but surely DH should feel safe in hospital?

Glad to hear he had a chance to sleep. Sleep is very important in these circumstances, his body needs to recharge now more than ever. I hope they find the issue soon and can sort it for him.

Regarding this man, can they pull the curtain between beds or put up a screen? Maybe that will deter him from getting around your DH's bed?

See if your DH can ask for a spare pillow case to keep his stuff in. End of the day he can get a nurse to lock it away, but means his stuff is too hand but not exposed to being taken.

Heaven forbid he should enjoy a single moment of his stay Imagine. Don't they also say laughter is the best medicine?

@Suzi888

Doesn’t your DH have a lockable cupboard/unit, thought they had those in most hospitals.

OP has explained he can't get things out of the cupboard for himself and doesn't want to have to keep calling the nurses.

I'm glad he had a better night, but keep it in mind. Patients switch all the time in open wards and he could well get another noisy one. Spent many a night shift redirecting mobile confused patients back to their beds x 100!

OP would you be able to send in a backpack for DH to keep with him? he may be able to keep it on his bed with him (there may be space to tuck it next to him) so he can keep valuables. Would he be able to undo a simple lock?

I'm sorry your husband is so ill and I hope the drs find out exactly what is causing this.

I'm sorry to hear you dh has been so unwell OP. I hope you both get some answers soon.

Please tell your DH not to worry about asking nursing staff to help him with his things. A small drawstring bag may be useful though. Then when they are going around doing final checks / obs the nurse/ HCA can place his stuff in there. Perhaps he could have them under his pillow, under his blanket or tied to his bed rail? Ear plugs and an eye mask may be handy as well. If he's in a lot of pain and that's keeping him awake maybe he could ask the doctor to review his medication?

I think people need to remember that some of these patients may just have infections / illness that are causing them to behave this way. They won't all have dementia. Even something as a simple as an UTI or a change in familiar environment can cause huge changes in a persons behaviour and ability. Delirium post op is also common. Everyone deserves care in an appropriate setting, regardless of age or cognition. Putting all of these type of patients in a 'dementia ward' isn't the answer. Also there would be the issue of staff recruitment and retention due to staff burnout. Would you be able to work 3 or 4 12 hour shifts a week only looking after these types of patients? Some people do, but those staff are like angels as far as I'm concerned. Ittakes a very special person to work in those conditions for every shift. Often these type of patients are worse in a noisy, unfamiliar environment as well, so putting them all together would be very unsettling for them. They need to be cared for under the consultant who specialises in the condition they are admitted with.

Nursing staff are trying their very best. Things aren't easy for anyone at the moment. Most hospitals aren't allowing visitors, again this can make things worse for those patients who are confused. A familiar face can often help settle them. Be kind, this could be any of us one day.

If he has private insurance I would use that, does the hospital have a private wing and does his Consultant take private patients. I would ask, being in hospital is awful these days, wandering patients were often nursed by the nurses station overnight or had 1to1 supervision, nothing will ever change until there is a major incident on a ward. If a confused or agitated patient attacked another patient or assaulted them you can be sure a solution would soon be found.

This has been my experience for years with dementia patients placed on a general ward - earplugs help and a small bag to put valuables in like phone which I sleep with

anyone in hospital at the moment is at risk of picking up covid while they are there. Therefore if possible you take them home. If there is private medical insurance then it may cover some forms of help at home.

The NHS doesnt have more single rooms because they are more difficult to observe and therefore more expensive to staff. If you are only prepared to pay for a mini you cant expect a rolls royce - and if you voted for the tories then this is what you voted for. Those claiming it's been the same under Labour and Tory governments simply ignore the facts.

And yes, operations in the private sector rely on being able to transfer patients to NHS ITU if something goes wrong. Only at the moment those ITUs are full of covid patients. We also all rely on the NHS for emergency care, they dont take you to a private hospital if you are in a car crash.

I'm sick of NHS bashing threads - expecting standards you are not prepared to pay for.

Sympathies. This sounds like ordinary hospital experience to me (non-covid times). My experience is "The only people who can stand to stay in hospital are the ones who can't physically get themselves anywhere else."

@Doffodils

Heaven forbid he should enjoy a single moment of his stay Imagine. Don't they also say laughter is the best medicine?

The comment “not there to”...I’m not implying that he should be miserable! I’m just commenting that he /you are raising issues about him being on open ward in your OP. You then say later you have private cover so could get him a room where he can rest properly and heal. But he doesn’t want to do that as he’ll be bored🤨 Cant have it both ways OP....it’s just how NHS wards are and have always been. His choice. If he wants to stay on ward cos it’s a bit more social than he needs to accept it’s also a bit more social, albeit not so much fun, at night. Comes with the territory

Unfortunately, hospital wards often have patients whose main problems are dementia or other neurological problems. I was in hospital about 12 years ago with a post-viral illness. It was a ward full of people who couldn't get a bed elsewhere as the hospital was full. There was an elderly woman there who was convinced that she was in a dreadful hotel. Her mother and her had been there many times before and now the service was shocking. She complained loudly every night that she wanted to leave and she couldn't find her suitcases. The other patients had to stop her from escaping. Many other shocking things happened during that time which I won't go into, but hospitals will be so much worse now.

The staff are probably mortified OP about the confused man. As annoying as it is maybe he’s harmless.

Private rooms they are probably full of Covid or other infections!!

Hopefully the staff can get the poor man a one to one.

@Worldbarbie

The staff are probably mortified OP about the confused man. As annoying as it is maybe he’s harmless.

Private rooms they are probably full of Covid or other infections!!

Hopefully the staff can get the poor man a one to one.

Of course they’re not mortified, every general ward in every hospital in the country is stuffed to the gunnels with patients with dementia. It doesn’t matter how harmless he is, it wears you down 24/7. My dad said if he could have got to the window he’d have thrown himself out of it after four days of that crap.

It’s OP’s husband who needs a room of his own, although I guess he’s not as bothered as she thinks he is if he’s more concerned about having a laugh with the nurses 🤷‍♀️

@VinylDetective OPs husband won’t be able to just have a room based on that though. That’s why I suggested a one to one that’s what usually happens.

Also if the patient doesn’t settle they would usually have a private room... not all the other patients in the bay

[quote Worldbarbie]@VinylDetective OPs husband won’t be able to just have a room based on that though. That’s why I suggested a one to one that’s what usually happens.

Also if the patient doesn’t settle they would usually have a private room... not all the other patients in the bay [/quote]
My dad got the private room - after a mammoth battle - because he was the one who didn’t have dementia. Most wards have more patients with it than without.

They have health insurance, they can pay for a private room. Everything’s possible if you can throw money at it.

My mother was in hospital recently for an operation. Unfortunately she developed post-operative Delirium, which manifested in dementia like behaviour. She was shouting out, yelling she was being held prisoner, at one point she rang 999! We had never heard of post-op delirium, however it seems it happens to about 20% of elderly patients after an operation, especially where there may be underlying health issues and lack of mobility.

She would have been absolutely horrified to know what she was doing and how she was behaving, it was tragic really. I was allowed to visit for one hour each day, and spent time apologising to other patients "she's not really like this". I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Luckily (I suppose) she wasn't mobile so couldn't get out of bed without assistance. I dread to think what would have happened if she could.

I used to be a HCA on the wards (now work in theatres, I much prefer anaesthetised patients 😂), I used to feel really sorry for the younger men or women who were admitted into a bay full of other patients with dementia as they genuinely used to get no sleep. I've witnessed patients threatening to bash each others brains in, wandering, attacking staff, shouting all night, getting into other terrified patients beds with them, trying to drink out of their own urine bottles (luckily intercepted that one!). Dementia is a horrific illness and the magnitude of it means we don't have the resources to deal with it in hospital sadly. Medicating patients to sedate them isn't allowed as it is classed as a deprivation of liberty and also, sometimes with the absolute worst patients it would be allowed but actually wouldn't work. It's a sad state of affairs all round really and not one that I can really see improving. for your DH, I hope he's not there for too long.

My DH had this all the way through his cancer treatment. Most people who get his cancer are 80+

They placed patients who were very ill (Him) and those who had dementia in the small ward opposite the nursing station.

1 man played music loudly 24 hours a day- it was impossible to get any sleep. Other climbed into his bed when he went to the loo- sometimes took ages to get them out whilst he had to stand by (he could hardly stand). The window was opened and closed constantly. 1 man used to take everyones food (to be fair it was awful and not an issue). They tried to pursuade family or carers to stay with dementia patients and so there were people in the ward all day and some sleeping there.

It was awful, both for him but also for the patient with dementia. I wa horrified at how they were treated and spoken about by staff. It still haunts me 2 years later. I spoke out a couple of times but it was the culture.

@Worldbarbie

The staff are probably mortified OP about the confused man. As annoying as it is maybe he’s harmless.

Private rooms they are probably full of Covid or other infections!!

Hopefully the staff can get the poor man a one to one.

They tend not to put very ill patients in single rooms.

It's insane not to go down the private route when it is readily available to him.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

It's insane not to go down the private route when it is readily available to him.

it wasn't available ?

Maybe you have the choice in some areas but for example when I needed significant but planned surgery in Leeds and had 2 lots of private cover, the 2 private hospitals didn't have ICU.

With my DH he was admitted from A&E into a hospital with no private provision, should he have declined admission and said no I want to wait- get a private appointment and go to a different hospital? Or be admitted by the NHS and treated that day? Hmmm? Sounds similar to the OP.

Visitors are limited not banned. You need to phone the ward and arrange a time

They are banned here unless it is end of life.

I’m sorry this is happening to your DH. It must be very disturbing. Unfortunately, it also sounds depressingly common.