How much money do you think I should be taking off dd for board?

[shamus2020]

Dd is 18 she earns roughly £750 a month from her job. This will change in January as she is upping her hours and will get around £950.

She has no responsibility's other than she pays £60 pm for a phone contract. Doesn't drive but is planning to start taking lessons in the new year.

What do you think is a reasonable amount for board?

Just to add she's been earning that for the past 12 months but I've never taken a penny off her. Things are tight at the moment and she needs to start contributing.
My parents never made me pay anything and I so wish they had.

I would say between 15-20% a month

1. Shes your child.

Why does she “need” to? Because you’re struggling doesn’t mean your child has to contribute?

Wow, she'll have £890 a month disposable income.

How much I'd take off her depends on how responsible she is with finances and budgeting and whether she's at college/uni or doing any kind of further education.

I'm going to say about £200 a month. I'd maybe save some of that on her behalf.

That leaves her with about £150 a week to herself.

Because she's an adult and eats me out of house and home!

So once children reach 18 it’s no longer your responsibility to feed them?
My 12 year old nephew also does the same to my sister should she not feed him either? She’s your responsibility while she’s under your roof.
There was another thread similar to this today. I honestly can’t understand this mindset of now they earn I know longer provide. You’re her mother for Christ sake. If you’re struggling with your finances, you need to work out how to improve that for yourself, not have your child bail you out.
What would you do if you were struggling financially with a toddler?

I paid £200 a month when I get school and went to uni with a part time job. All this she’s your child
Is bollocks. The minute you work and leave school you’re an adult and have to contribute, life isn’t free and neither are clean clothes, hot meals and a warm bed.

• no longer

Confused why previous posters think 18 year old is a child. She is a working adult. I’d say around £200 a month. If you financially manage I’d save some of that for when she leaves home.

@Lilac95 not all parents expect their children to contribute. I never did and nor will I expect any of my children too. I’m getting through life just fine and know how to pay my bills without having helped my parents pay there’s.

Also to add...it’s not about working out finances etc, my mother lost tax credits and a council tax reduction when I left school...so I had to pick up the shortfall. I’ve you’re already on a tight budget...an OP has said they are, then losing extra cash and paying higher bills can be a struggle.

Because she's an adult and eats me out of house and home!

Have you sat her down and gone through your household bills with her?

This is something we did with DS when he was 16, spending hours in the shower, leaving every light and electrical appliance switched on behind him, wearing a t-shirt for 2 hours then putting it in the washing basket, polishing off a whole packet of ham as a pre-lunch snack.

We sat him down, went through all of our bills including weekly food shop. He got a real shock. Anyone that doesn't do this with their children once they're old enough, and teaches them the cost of living, is doing them a huge disservice.

Ignore those who are privileged enough to bank roll their adult children. Some people can't afford to give their children a free ride. When I was working and earning bit living with parents, I paid my share of what it cost for me to live there. It was about £300 per month.

@HotSince63 she's not in uni or college she works at that's it. She hasn't got a penny saved and that disposable income is normally gone in the first week (2 weeks max) she buys a lot of clothes and rubbish and will usually buy a luxury item a month ( say a pair of shoes for £300-£400)
I was gonna suggest £50 pm so I can put it on the gas and electric. She's been furloughed for 5 weeks on 100% pay. She earns more than myself!

We are planning to take a nominal amount but save it (on the sly- we don't want them knowing!) for when they need a deposit for their own place. However, we are currently in a financial situation where we don't need the money. If our situation changes then we will charge and put it towards household finances.
I would expect her to buy her own toiletries, contribute in some way to food and to pay for Netflix or whatever they use.

@SendHelp30 I think you being totally ridiculous. How does that help anyone. It certainly doesn't help the child later on in life.

None but I would expect them to pitch in on things like lunches out and takeaways etc, also any particularly expensive or luxury food or toiletries they'd like.

I'd ask her for £200 per month, and also try to encourage her to put £200 per month away per month for a mortgage in later life at least she will have a deposit then. X

@SendHelp30 then you’re children are lucky and it’s great you won’t need them to contribute. The OP has clearly said they’re struggling and why should they pay for another adult to live at home with no contribution? Also I mentioned nothing about it helping you learn how to pay bills but it is a good way to learn to budget/responsibility. It’s not about expecting a child to contribute, my mother always said if she could go without my help she would’ve, but as it was she needed my support and rightly so. You don’t have children going the minute they’re 18 I’m gonna get money off them. It’s about your situation at that time.

DSS will be 18 next year and has decided he doesn’t want to stay on at college - fair enough, it’s his decision, but the rule in this house is that once you finish full time education you need to contribute to the household.

We had a good chat about all different kinds of living expenses, and he worked out what it would cost him to move out, then we talked about what a fair amount would be, and have told him £150.
So he knows in advance what he’ll be paying from sept.

In actual fact, we’ll take it off him and stick it in a savings account, then give it him back when he moves out - but I appreciate that not everyone will be able to afford to do that.

The key thing for me is that it’s been an ongoing conversation over several years about how much various things cost and how to budget, rather than just ‘you’re 18, you need to start paying’!

I was proud to pay board when I was earning. I set a standing order up so I never forgot. I paid £200 on a salary of about £1000 a month. Got my sandwiches made for lunch too !

My 17 year old is in college and works part time earning £500-750/month. He pays for going out, hair cuts, motorcycle petrol, bus etc. I do not ask for any contribution. I do encourage him to save some, though he has not managed to do that (he works in a clothing shop which is very tempting).
If your daughter is saving money for a car or when she eventually moves out then I'd leave her be. If she is spending every penny each month then I'd talk to her about putting some aside. Perhaps contribute a bit to the food bill?

1/3 of her income
If she were paying for her own housing, she would need to budget about 30% for housing and you are covering both housing and food.
I would put as much of that fee as you can afford into a savings account. So perhaps have it cover her food and the rest you put in savings for her for when she is ready to move out. Or set it up that you are putting it in savings and when she is ready to move out you will match up the amount in the account that she has saved independently.

Alternatively, I would require her to put 1/2 her income into savings as long as she is living at home.

Eesh, sounds like she needs to learn about the cost of living. She's had a year of blowing her salary, now you need to give her a bit of a reality check.

I think £50 is too little, but perhaps work put what would be a fair contribution to a few different bills: gas, electric, food perhaps? Also encourage her to save - maybe £100 to you £100 into a savings account?