How much money do you think I should be taking off dd for board?

[shamus2020]

Dd is 18 she earns roughly £750 a month from her job. This will change in January as she is upping her hours and will get around £950.

She has no responsibility's other than she pays £60 pm for a phone contract. Doesn't drive but is planning to start taking lessons in the new year.

What do you think is a reasonable amount for board?

We have absolutely no need for DS to contribute financially to our household but damn right we'll be expecting a contribution from him when he's working, not in education, and still living at home.

Welcome to adult life, son.

No wonder there are so many stories of cocklodgers on MN, they're all learning it from their parents.

OP, you are perfectly entitled to take money for board from an 18 year old who is in full-time work.

Anyone suggesting otherwise on this thread must have much more money than sense, and is part of the massive problem in this country and society of infantalising adult children.🙄

My wages fluctuated but from the age of 16 I paid 20% of my take home.

I survived, still love my parents and managed to save up to move out and have nice holidays. Perfectly reasonable to ask for a contribution.

I think a chat with her is needed, frittering away £800 on two weeks is well disgusting. You need to work or how much she is costing you and charge that. You need to talk to her about saving half of what is left and a quarter is for bills and disposal.

This sounds harsh but you need to teach her about finances.

If she’s working full time surely she’s earning more than that even on NMW? If she’s working part time then she should look for full time hours (if at all possible) and if she chooses not to and is left with not much to spend then that’s her issue! I agree it’s more than fair to take a contribution when you’re struggling, she’s a working adult and is treating herself to luxury items while saving nothing! Allowing that situation to continue will really not help her to grow up.

@4amWitchingHour I suggested the £50 and she hit the roof said she's not paying that said she's saving for a boob job and a car come January so can't afford to give me £50. Ive ost a lot of income in the past year due to her and her brother dropping out of college and going into work. Like I said I haven't taken a penny off her but I'm struggling atm what with all that's happened this year.

I would say 20% of her income (or round up to £200)
If you can put a small amount of this in savings for her great, if you can't because you need the money that is totally reasonable. £50 isn't enough. Ignore the rude and aggressive poster who thinks you should bankroll adult children working full time forever.

1/3 to you, 1/3 to save and 1/3 to spend.

£60 pm phone contracts and £300 shoes are ridiculous and she clearly sees her money as all for luxury purchases and she'll end up in a mess if she carries on like that.

I'd say £200/m.

When my children are old enough to earn, they will contribute. Thus it has ever been in mine and DH's families. Yes they are my DC, but once they are out of education, it's time to pay some of their own costs.

A boob job? DD needs a reality check. I think £200 p/m to cover her for bills and food is reasonable. If she has an issue with that, she is welcome to find somewhere else to live. She is not a child anymore.

About £200 a month. Which I would think is affordable whilst not being insignificant (token amount). If she was at College you would probably be getting child benefit and some child tax credit/ UC element, and at university she would probably get the full maintenance loan if you are on a low income, and so actually them working from home and contributing nothing as the least cost effective situation at 18. If she moved out, she would be spending considerably more than that. Not everyone is in the same financial position, it's very easy for people to say you shouldn't make them pay anything when they aren't struggling to pay for food etc. Themselves

SendHelp30
What would you do if you were struggling financially with a toddler?

What a fucking stupid question!

If OP had a toddler she might be entitled to benefits, maintenance etc and a toddler doesn't eat as much as an adult or leave lights on etc

She sounds like she needs a reality check. If you charged say £200 pm, that would be really cheap in comparison to her renting a flat, paying bills, etc. Staying at home would be a good deal.

It would be a good start for helping to learn how to budget her money too. If you do save part of the board money for her, don't tell her - wait until a sensible purchase comes along, like a house or car.

I suggested the £50 and she hit the roof said she's not paying that said she's saving for a boob job and a car come January so can't afford to give me £50

What? Really?

OK, at this point, I'd try what I said earlier about sitting down and going through household bills. Very calmly.

If after that she's still refusing to hand over any money I'd be directing her to the "rooms to let" section of the local paper, and telling her she's got until end of January to find somewhere else to live (and good luck finding somewhere for £50 a month all in including food).

What a brat.

If my toddler was getting £950 a month I would be using that money to feed the toddler if money was tight!

£250 a month.

If she doesn't like it I'd love to see where she thinks she can rent/pay bills/eat for that price. It's ridiculous that she should have almost £1,000 spending money whilst getting a free ride at home.

In the real world most of us can't afford to scrimp and scrape to pay for everything so that teenagers can afford a lifestyle many of us can only dream of.

I've never had £1,000 'fun' money a month in my life!

I don’t think based on OP’s circumstance that saving on behalf of her rather immature 18 year old DD is an option.
Her need is more about survival. Not how to cushion her DD more than she already is.
Please don’t even consider saving if you are struggling financially yourself.

Only on MN have I seen people who are horrified by asking adult children to contribute.
£50 a month is more than reasonable OP.

My parents never made me pay anything and I so wish they had.

🤣 why?

I think £50 a week is a good amount, even if you keep it and save it for when they move into their own home It shows them responsibility and how to budget.

Can't you take £150- £200 a month and keep it somewhere safe and give it to her when she wants to go on the property ladder. It will add up to 7k in nearly 3 years. This is what my parents did as I paid £200 a month and when the time came, they said they never spent it and saved it for me to use when I needed it.

The OP has clearly said they’re struggling and why should they pay for another adult to live at home with no contribution?

Eh, 18 isn't that old, the OP chose to have a child, presumably she didn't know her child would be earning money at 18. What if she wasn't, how would they manage?

Not saying she shouldn't pay anything, just think that's a strange mindset. To say why should I pay for my just turned adult child to eat 🤔

[quote shamus2020]@4amWitchingHour I suggested the £50 and she hit the roof said she's not paying that said she's saving for a boob job and a car come January so can't afford to give me £50. Ive ost a lot of income in the past year due to her and her brother dropping out of college and going into work. Like I said I haven't taken a penny off her but I'm struggling atm what with all that's happened this year.[/quote]
She's refusing to pay a tiny fraction of her income to have a roof over her head and be fed and kept warm?

Well, I'd be suggesting to her that she needs to start looking for a flat as you can't afford to support her unaided any more and maybe you could rent out her room to a lodger to make ends meet. I wouldn't actually be planning for a lodger, but she really really needs to be educated on the cost of living. Get her looking at how much a one bedroom flat would cost her. Talk to her about how much food costs. electricity, gas, rates.

She sounds completely unprepared for independent life, which is surely what she should be preparing herself for. It does her no favours to let her stay in this childish state. And FFS - a boob job?

For comparison, my mum took 25% of my take home pay for my digs. It actually made me feel grown-up and adult to be paying into the house.

@SendHelp30 would you be happy with your dc saving money for a boob job rather than help pay their way? If your dc live with you until they're 40, do you still think they shouldn't contribute?

£200 seems fair to me OP & good advice about sitting her down to go through bills

When my DS began his apprenticeship and was on similar salary to your DD, we agreed £25pw. Set up a SO of £108.33 pm.

It's not too much but gets the habit going of paying their way.