How much money do you think I should be taking off dd for board?

[shamus2020]

Dd is 18 she earns roughly £750 a month from her job. This will change in January as she is upping her hours and will get around £950.

She has no responsibility's other than she pays £60 pm for a phone contract. Doesn't drive but is planning to start taking lessons in the new year.

What do you think is a reasonable amount for board?

I started working full time at 17. I was earning £800pm and my mum took rent money from my first pay day

I paid £120 (this was in 2007), which she quickly increased to £150. A couple of years later she said she wanted £200 so I found a flat share which was £250 including all bills so I moved out instead. Paying an extra £50 to get away from her rules was worth it!

Most of my friends’ parents saved all/part of their rent and gave it back towards housing costs but mine didn’t.

I think £200 per month. When I started working I earned a similar wage and that's what I gave my mum. Personally I think even if you don't need the money, it's the thing to do as at that age you need to learn how to start paying your way and living independently l. I only stayed at home about 4 months after starting work, as I realised quickly I could afford a house share in the city for the same money I was paying in keep to my parents and bus fare into the city to work. If I hadn't of being paying keep I wouldn't have had the confidence in managing my money to move out and live as an adult at 18.

My ex lived with his parents until he was 27 (London) they were very wealthy and charged him a small keep, small enough that he stayed too long in my opinion but when he wanted to buy a place at 30 they gave it all back to him as they had saved it as a deposit for him (and a huge lump on top but I digress...). In fairness he would never have saved that money himself as he was a dreadful spender so they did him a favour - although having your parents manage your finances into your late twenties is far from ideal!!

This made me smile because I used to pay my parents £50 a week every Saturday..and I used to borrow it back by the following Tuesday!

I think £250 a month, but you put £100 of that in a savings account for her, to strictly go towards her own place. Owned..not paying someone elses mortgage, if you can x

I'd say maybe £100 but upto £200 if ur really struggling or she's wasting it.

@shamus2020

I didn't take anything off her for a year expecting her to save the majority of it. But a year has passed and shes got nothing other than clothes and shoes to show for it. My circumstances have changed dramatically in a year from going to a two parent household with two incomes to becoming a single parent, losing a job and having to juggle without a car. If she could just put in £100 a month I would try and save a bit of that for her (without her knowing) after I've paid what I need too. Her words tonight were. "Your actually spiteful, you know I'm trying to save up for a car next year. None of friends have to pay they're parents for living at home, it's skivvy. Your my mum I shouldn't have to pay you anything your a bitch. I'd rather move out than give you £100"

Funny thing is I'm too trying to save for a car.

'Save up for a car next year'! No, she's pissing it up the wall on takeaways and £300 shoes!

So she'd rather move out? Take her up on her kind offer. I expect she'll move to your parents where she can rant to her heart's content and they can reap what they've sown ( "My parents don't help they've spoilt her her whole life." )

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, @shamus2020, it must be very upsetting, but in the longer term, better now than later. I am serious about you telling her 'fine, move out'. Her screaming tantrums and calling you names pretty much demands that response. Then attend to your finances. Your food bill will be less, you can get the single adult rebate on your council tax. With her safely with her grandparents, you will have the headspace to attend to yourself and your younger children. I think you need that. ((hugs))

@shamus2020 I can’t believe how your daughter dare to talk to you! I’m so sorry! I was a handful as a child but never talked to my DM like that.
I did had to pay my way but I understood that ,even though my BF didn’t had to.
I’ve just asked my DD9 about your situation. She said your DD should give you £150 per month then save 75% of her left over money and spend 25% on something she really like. Did I read it correctly she wants a boob job at 18? Mind boggles!

I wouldn't take so much that she ends up with less or the same money than she had when she was working fewer hours as then she has no incentive to work those extra hours and it seems unfair to be working more and having less take home money. Maybe take $50-100 a month so she still gets a bit of a pay rise and also contributes to food etc.

@sunshineandshowers21

i think this issue shows just how middle class mumsnet is. i’m from a working class family living on a council estate and it’s the norm for people living at home to start paying board as soon as they start working. i, and everyone i knew, paid board until they left home. i wouldn’t have expected my parents to carry on paying my way when i was earning my own money. if you don’t take board from your kids then maybe be thankful that you’re in a position to do so, and don’t knock those who aren’t!

This OP,

I am middle class but my parents had little money. Where I grew up it was accepted that children contributed to the household as soon as they started working (I was fortunate enough to get to go to University, many of my friends had to get a job straight out of school as their parents needed the money).

But thankfully my college education did not give me an empathy bypass and I totally understand where you are coming from OP. I contributed 30% of my income when I lived at home and after I left I still supported my DPs as I moved into high earnings very quickly. It is just expected where I grew up and no one resents it. I think even £200 per month is too low but you really need to insist that she pays you - I am annoyed on your behalf that she went crazy when you asked for £50.

I cannot believe she is saving for a boob job. And I would be very upset if my DD felt she could earn money and live at home for free (even if I could afford that, I still believe all people who work and earn need to contribute to the household).

Saving for a boob job and a car?!

Since when does chores make you someone’s maid?

since its a paid job, people go to work as a chamber maid or housemaid etc to earn money from it - so what is the difference between doing chores unpaid or giving over cash for housekeeping?

Let her move out. In fact insist upon it. She'll either find her feet and grow the fuck up or she will realise what a spoilt ungrateful shit she has been and want to come back home and pay a measly £200 /month so she can live free of responsibility and spunk the rest of her pay as she wishes.