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Original poster

Private school or £250k house deposit......

610 replies

JanieBP · 12/12/2020 06:21

For your child. Just that really. DH calculated that to send our DC the whole way through private school will be £250k EACH (including fee increases etc....they are at a private school now, but we are reconsidering). Even the most modest private secondary education is going to set you back £60k per child. Yet almost everyone I meet who went to a private school can’t afford to send their own child privately (well not without significant grandparent help). One dad said to me his aim was to make ‘happy adults’. Doesn’t every parent want happy children- Even grown up ones? As adults if they can afford to get on the property ladder and have a secure home that might make them happier than being able to reminisce about the school play, school cricket matches and match tea.......

OP posts:
TheresSnowHelpForUs · 12/12/2020 06:23

I'd go for the house deposit.

MamaOfWobbles · 12/12/2020 06:24

I asked a similar question and agree that financial security is more important. You can always supplement state education with educational trips/ tutor support if needed. As a result we're overpaying now on our mortgage and have applied to 3 lovely little local state schools. We'll look at private maybe for secondary instead

ElfHatOnPicture · 12/12/2020 06:25

School, if you find a really good one.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education Private schooling
Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 12/12/2020 06:26

I admit to be anti-private schools, so I’m probably not the best person to comment....

But surely it depends very heavily on your child and the quality of your local state schools?

BefuddledPerson · 12/12/2020 06:30

I consider private school a waste of money, educationally, so pointless expense unless you want to access an 'elite' social circle.

I went to private school for some of my schooling.

My children have had excellent outcomes from state schools.

You would be far far better imo to invest in tutoring if needed.

Original poster
JanieBP · 12/12/2020 06:31

@ElfHatOnPicture.....why do you say school?
I know loads of people who went to a ‘really good one’ and Still can’t afford to send their own children. Talked to someone recently who’s child (education cost will be close to the £250k mark) is set on a career in a poorly paid healthcare profession. Another friends child got a 1st with distinction from a RG uni and has no career aspirations at all.

OP posts:
SushiGo · 12/12/2020 06:32

We went to private school and would prefer to give our DC house deposits in an either/or scenario.

Getting on the property ladder early makes the most difference long term.

whiteroseredrose · 12/12/2020 06:34

Move to an area with excellent schools.

And remember nothing in life is guaranteed, particularly money.

Lily193 · 12/12/2020 06:35

Private school without a doubt.

Original poster
JanieBP · 12/12/2020 06:37

@Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies id agree with quality of your local state schools but anyone able to consider independent education isn’t likely to be living in a ghetto in the first place, and 3 As and a RG degree isn’t required for the vast majority of jobs.

OP posts:
Original poster
JanieBP · 12/12/2020 06:38

@Lily193, can you explain why please.

OP posts:
Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 12/12/2020 06:38

We have gone the latter option and tutors of need be. We are in scotland and education is NOT good under the current system so I am worried but on balance our kids are doing ok.

Catsup · 12/12/2020 06:42

In the nicest possible sense paying for a top notch education does not always result in a 'bright' child.

TweeBree · 12/12/2020 06:43

A friend went to one of the top schools and he says he wishes he'd been gifted a house deposit instead.

From an outsiders POV, he's very, very 'polished' in how he speaks and interacts with people, plus he has all these connections he wouldn't have had. He falls into amazing job roles most people wouldn't even have access to, but he doesn't see it.

Emeeno1 · 12/12/2020 06:43

You can't make happy adults by throwing money at either an education or a house deposit.

Surely any peruse of a newspaper or magazine's celebrity pages disabuses this notion.

Money is not the issue, character is, and that is open to the gods.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 12/12/2020 06:43

Mmm... I guess you’re right. Mind you, in my experience, a number of people who go down the private path will justify their choice by knocking the local state schools. Which is a little bit rude when they’re talking to somebody whose child is attending them. Just to be clear, I’m not talking about you, OP.

In general terms, I do think that children who go to independent school have a kind of veneer of confidence. But whether this is any more than skin deep, or whether it persists throughout life I don’t know.

Lily193 · 12/12/2020 06:47

The opportunities that private education will bring throughout life should far outweigh a 250k house deposit - that would be only 6-12 months salary for a successful high earner.

zigaziga · 12/12/2020 06:48

Definitely depends - how good are local state schools, what is the child like, what is your choice of private?
It’s not binary private vs state. Some private schools are worth it, some aren’t.

It’s not just earning potential either.

BefuddledPerson · 12/12/2020 06:51

Another negative of public school is they do longer hours, plus extra curricular, so get a lot less time at home.

I was at school with a lot of high-achieving, slightly lonely young people. Everyone was more pushed and it was quite intense.

My kids return home at 3:30, having walked with their friends, who are more varied. Their teachers are also more varied as so many more of them, it's all more of a jumble.

My private school was excellent on its own terms, it is and always has been a popular choice - but stultifying small and full of strangeness.

I am happier with my kids in larger schools. If they need support I do it or I pay for it. I like to see them on Saturdays too.

BefuddledPerson · 12/12/2020 06:54

It’s not just earning potential either

It should be nothing to do with earning potential. This saddens me in relation to children. The parents of the lonely children I went to school with were like this - their aim was not happiness but success Sad.

I didn't want my children around that. It is very negative.

RickOShay · 12/12/2020 06:55

Very tricky. What are the schools like near you?
Private school education isn’t always about exam results. They have the time and resources to support children in ways which aren’t purely academic.
It’s a difficult choice. Are your children struggling?

Catsup · 12/12/2020 06:56

It all depends on the potential expected outcome though? As pp stated it's sometimes just about making the networking links into the 'old boys club' (regardless of if you're actually a thicko, or not). Or if you believe they'll actually benefit properly from the input of it? Exhibit A might be Prince Harry?... All the money and education in the world cannot push some folk past scraping a suspiciously awarded A level in Art perhaps? 🙄

theresagiantonthebeach · 12/12/2020 06:56

house. but then I am working class!

zigaziga · 12/12/2020 06:57

Also your DC are already at private school Confused so you just already know how much it costs.. and you must already have made a choice on your choice of private vs state? Why did you choose the private?

Grumpycatsmum · 12/12/2020 06:58

I'd always said I would send my kids to state (having been to private school myself, partly bursary supported) and have done until now. DD1 is 13 and not happy at her state school. We are moving house and if she isn't happier at her news state school we will send her private for 3/4 years. Mainly for the smaller class sizes and better support for her dyslexia , which gets no support at her current school. Even though her current school has a great inspection report lots of kids have high support needs and she gets overlooked.