Fuckkkkkkkk, I told DD the naughty kids get the headteacher awards and then she went and told the other kids 😬

[Allwhiteeverythin]

School run is going to be fun today ffs

DD came out of school last Friday upset the same kid had the award for the 3rd time this term. She’s had it once since reception. I lost my temper a bit and just said “oh did they just give it to the naughty kids to make them feel better you already know how to behave” .

Which she then repeated to the other kids at school yesterday . Teacher told me after school and said she hadn’t realised this kid had had it 3 times (naughtiest kid in the class obvs).

They’re going to go home and tell their parents aren’t they?

Yes they are - it's inevitable and totally predictable.

You were utterly stupid to say that, but you can't change what's happened. You need to be very, very apologetic. And remember that the next scandal will mean this one is forgotten

What award is it? 3 times in one term seems unusual if it's something along the lines of star of the week, less so if it's about attainment and trying hard. For star of the week type awards most teachers keep a list to ensure everyone gets a turn. A few children might mention it to their parents, but I doubt any of them will think badly of you for saying it.

I better hope my dd gets no such award

Yes star of the week/headteacher award nonsense

I’m not bloody apologising, it’s true! I shouldn’t have said it to DD but I’m not going to stand there and agree that Jonny definitely earned his award either. I’m sure his mum already knows he’s a little sod

Don't worry. Either the parent will realise they have a naughty child and probably think the same or be oblivious to their child's behaviour and the child won't want to tell them.

Oops! Sounds like the sort of thing I'd say to my child too @Allwhiteeverythin so you're not alone!

Most of the parents probably think the exact same as you!

I wouldn’t be bothered, because it might make the teacher think about who gets the award and to maybe share it out a bit. It’s true though isn’t it. My DS often asks me why he hasn’t been star of the week yet despite doing his best work so far these last few weeks, kids do notice these things.

Yep, it's sadly true a lot of the time as they are the children the teachers notice more and try to praise when they occasionally have better days.

Some teachers will be more are of this bias and keep a list and award the children who always do the right thing too. But sometimes it's hard to remember.

Well, obviously if you’re not sorry, don’t apologise! But don’t come here looking for validation, either believe in your own decision...or don’t!

Other parents have probably thought/said similar if it is the same child getting the award multiple times.

Star of the week sounds like a really shit idea to me. What happened to house points?!

It's true! I might encourage your dd to be tactful, but I wouldn't apologise.

@CindersCatsSister but I need validation

I should not have said that to DD and I will apologise if their child was upset. It’s a very naice MC village school so I’m not worried anyone’s about to square up to me in the playground

You need to toughen up if this sort of crap about prizes and awards etc makes you "lose your temper" a bit. Your DD has many years ahead of not getting prizes and being pushed out and excluded for less worthy kids.

If I heard that a parent had said that, I would assume they were jealous.

The correct response to any child complaining about this sort of thing is "Never mind, that's nice for little Johnny to get the prize isn't it? Now which way should we walk home..." Or similar.

You're not exactly wrong OP I wouldn't worry too much! I wouldn't say 'naughty' as such but definitely the children who need more encouragement. My under the radar DS never wins awards for anything now even at high school where it is more logical, as he has calculated just how much to do not to attract attention 🙄

@Fifawidow, at a guess? Yes

You're not wrong though...

@THisbackwithavengeance, I’m a seasoned parent, I’ve been doing the school run for 15 years and know exactly how it works.

Scrap “lost my temper” and replace with “exasperated sigh”

I wouldn’t worry too much. You meant “some children find behaviour difficult and are awarded when they are able to follow the school rules.” I’m sure the children have forgotten by now.

Your kids go to a seriously fucked up school if awards are done like that....
If you genuinely believe that school rewards naughty kids, you have a much bigger problem when what some parents think of you..

Well your not wrong so....

Welcome to the world of the forgotten middle kids...