Fuckkkkkkkk, I told DD the naughty kids get the headteacher awards and then she went and told the other kids 😬

[Allwhiteeverythin]

School run is going to be fun today ffs

DD came out of school last Friday upset the same kid had the award for the 3rd time this term. She’s had it once since reception. I lost my temper a bit and just said “oh did they just give it to the naughty kids to make them feel better you already know how to behave” .

Which she then repeated to the other kids at school yesterday . Teacher told me after school and said she hadn’t realised this kid had had it 3 times (naughtiest kid in the class obvs).

They’re going to go home and tell their parents aren’t they?

@Jroseforever

Yes, that’s the absolute truth which is why several parents raised it with the Governors & Headteacher.

If there was a way of proving this anonymously, believe me, I would.

It doesn’t particularly grate on me or my child but I can see how it will affect that child when it comes to secondary school.

My priority is my children’s happiness, not making excuses for other kids or pretend there’s not an issue. The school and the parents do enough of that

The "kindness" only ever seems one way doesn't it. I mean whats kind about having your child have to struggle to work on her lap because she's meant to just assume the kids next to her cant help manspreading across the table .

@MoggyP

Yes they are - it's inevitable and totally predictable.

You were utterly stupid to say that, but you can't change what's happened. You need to be very, very apologetic. And remember that the next scandal will mean this one is forgotten

Are you for real?

Don't worry about it, OP

Or rather highlights the number of parents that don’t rate or trust their child’s teacher to make a professional, thoughtful and insightful decision - given the teacher is the one that spends 7 hours a day with the class and will have a much better understanding of what goes on, dynamics and context

If a teacher spends 7 hours a day with children and can't find a reason to spread around these stupid awards then he/she is neither thoughtful nor insightful. And I'd argue a lack of professionalism, too because he/she should know and avoid the adverse effects of this sort of thing.

Then I would say that the issue is bigger than just the award!

🤔 Yeah, fair point. You're probably right. Hence taking DC out of school and opting for home education.

This has always been the case OP and you’re not wrong. I still remember being devastated In year 6 when ‘pupil of the year’ was awarded to a girl who was quite literally 1/4 as strong a candidate as myself and the two others in close running.

She never cleaned up after arts, stayed in at break to set up next lessons, took shifts in the canteen, did the shitty projector job in assembly, took part in the extra curricula's or joined a single committee. She was a flaky member of the rounders team that was it! She also didn’t excel academically. She was just painfully average.

They awarded this thing like two weeks before end of term and when the teacher said her name the whole class was just confused. Me and the two other strong candidates had totally braced to lose to each other and would have swallowed it with dignity. But we were livid!

Teacher gave this feeble speech about how ‘she had improved the most as used to be very naught...blah blah blah’

She was a bit smug about it all too until a boy in the class overheard our teacher telling another in the playground he just hadn’t wanted to make a call between me and the other two as it was too close so ‘copped out and picked her’

On reflection now I feel really sorry for her as she got like one day of feeling good about herself and then her final two weeks being embarrassed and awkward

@Pumpertrumper

This has always been the case OP and you’re not wrong. I still remember being devastated In year 6 when ‘pupil of the year’ was awarded to a girl who was quite literally 1/4 as strong a candidate as myself and the two others in close running.

She never cleaned up after arts, stayed in at break to set up next lessons, took shifts in the canteen, did the shitty projector job in assembly, took part in the extra curricula's or joined a single committee. She was a flaky member of the rounders team that was it! She also didn’t excel academically. She was just painfully average.

They awarded this thing like two weeks before end of term and when the teacher said her name the whole class was just confused. Me and the two other strong candidates had totally braced to lose to each other and would have swallowed it with dignity. But we were livid!

Teacher gave this feeble speech about how ‘she had improved the most as used to be very naught...blah blah blah’

She was a bit smug about it all too until a boy in the class overheard our teacher telling another in the playground he just hadn’t wanted to make a call between me and the other two as it was too close so ‘copped out and picked her’

On reflection now I feel really sorry for her as she got like one day of feeling good about herself and then her final two weeks being embarrassed and awkward

Unkeee you are in Year 7.... I can’t quite getmy head around how much of this you remember!!

Also... could I maybe tentatively suggest that you aren’t the most objective person to describe this girl?!

And I’m guessing you were instrumental in those final two weeks of embarrassment for you

her

Not got time to read 15 pages of responses but your reaction is totally 'sore loser' and what a thing to pass onto your child.

You dont always win in life and you dont know whats happening with others either

Maybe you are wrong and that child that 'you' think is a brat is actually really good at work and earned it?

Or maybe its a useless 'feel better' award made up by the teacher and being given to a child with an abusive/neglectful homelife as a nice gesture?

Or maybe the child has a disability you dont know about and is being encourage to believe in themselves through positive rewards?

Regardless of if any of that is the case or something else its just speculation, all I can see for a fact is that you are rude, judgemental, bully children and are teaching your child an utter lack of basic manners, humility and respect.

Not got time to read 15 pages of responses but what I have to say is SO important and original that I thought I’d barrel in and say it anyway, even if those same points have been discussed ad nauseam.

There. Fixed it for you.

Op you need to change your story and stand in the naughty corner

There are too many parents on this thread taking a 'such is life' approach to this. Life might be unfair but we don't have to accept that for our children. Some teachers are fabulous, but so many are also a bit crap. I wouldn't blindly trust their judgement (am a former teacher and have met people with shocking attitudes towards the children in their care). If you think your child is not being fairly treated then raise it with the school and give them a chance to rethink their approach and put things right.
If you know your child has been ignored then you can make sure you give them extra praise at home. That's if you know. So many kids are quietly hurt by these things but don't mention it to their parents because 'it's just the way it is' and parents find out years down the line that their child was unhappy about school.

My ds told me at the end of one term that he "couldn't be bothered to be naughty then good again" if he tried to win a prize and almost got there. Apparently it was just too exhausting. 😄😄

My DSs twigged very quickly that Star of the Week at their primary school always went to the naughty children when they managed to get through the week with a relatively modest number of offences.

DS1, aged about 6 at the time, briefly contemplated a few days of misfeasance followed by a resumption of his usual (reasonably good) behaviour to see if he could get it. He decided that it was more effort than it was worth.

It’s the truth, there’s no point in hiding it.

My primary school gave out weekly prizes. Little things like rubbers. I still remember the child who was bullying me in year 5 getting the weekly prize for not getting into a fight. He had hit me that week - in front of the teacher - but as I didn’t hit back I guess it wasn’t a fight.

A teacher once commented to me that I could win every week based on my behaviour. She never actually gave me a prize though. FWIW my parents were struggling to put food on the table and I certainly never got any Brownie, swimming, gymnastics etc badges that PPs were talking about. Some kids are just overlooked inside and outside of school.

Not sure how I never realised this before but it’s so true! I think a lightbulb has just appeared above my head thinking of a work colleague who recently posted on Facebook about her daughter receiving some kind of school award for “kindness” when she had only recently been dealing with the school over an ongoing bullying issue (her daughter being the instigator). I suppose it’s a nice way to recognise improvement when it’s seen but probably quite confusing for the other children.

Shed - confusing for parents too!

I always wonder what will happen to these kids when they encounter the real world.
Awards for not attacking their line manager?
Or an assault charge?

How daft is that though? An award for not bullying someone.
Challenge schools on their awards when they are messed up like this.

How does that help to improve overall behaviour?
Doesn't matter if they are NT/SN, they need consistency.
The school should be working with the parent of the disruptive child, not making things worse for everyone.

How bloody confusing is that? Why is anyone acknowledging unacceptable behaviour in this way?

It would be interesting to know what happens to these kids in later life.

It would be interesting to know what happens to these kids in later life

I think even within their primary school life it starts to fall apart.

When they get too old fir stickers etc , tge certificates become meaningless to those who were academically or athletically gifted because well its hard to feel recognised for your abilities when not throwing your table buddies pencil case gets you one too..

By the time they get to year 4/5 they don't care about rewards and they don't care about reflection rooms or staying in at break either.

For many they will calm down in year seven when things get a bit stricter and detentions eat into their socialisation time.

Although some students prefer being stuck on isolation as uts quiet and away from the disrupters.

Others still don't give a shit and there's nothing anyone can do til they finally grow up/mature

@Chewwithyourfuckingmouthclosed

I always wonder what will happen to these kids when they encounter the real world. Awards for not attacking their line manager? Or an assault charge?

That's pretty much what I used to tell DC. The rewards for children who generally misbehave only occur at primary school.

I think you're right though. I think it can be used as a desperate tool to try to moderate some little ones' behaviour. The lad who punched my son in the stomach got it that week. And then the following week too. I could see their reasoning but hard to explain to my ds who never got it. When they first told me about the incident (a WORD after school) it was framed as if my son was the perp for goading him into it

@OhCaptain

Not got time to read 15 pages of responses but what I have to say is SO important and original that I thought I’d barrel in and say it anyway, even if those same points have been discussed ad nauseam.

There. Fixed it for you.

or I have a child, responsabilities and a life that means I dont have time to waste reading 15 pages lol

weather my response backs up what others have said or not its still relivant, if we only got 1 single post from each side with a varying opinion then these threads would be useless stalemates, the OP need multiple responses to get the full picture.

@5zeds

Well what a total arse you are.

Precisely. My DS got star of the week in Reception. In Y1 he thought it was taken in turns and he didn't get it and was telling me (who thought the same) up to about middle of term 3 that it would be his turn soon. In Y2 I queried it and was told "no, they have to do something to get it" which seems to imply that DS never had a "best week" or did anything nice for anyone or got any "good behaviour notices" which he certainly did.

It should be for a child who has tried their hardest or done something that is hard for them. And that's what you should be telling your DC.

"Best story" prize is always going to go to a child who is good at writing. You wouldn't complain if "tried hardest at a story" prize went to a child with dyslexia who didn't write a long, complicated and easy to read story however.