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Original poster

Fuckkkkkkkk, I told DD the naughty kids get the headteacher awards and then she went and told the other kids 😬

395 replies

Allwhiteeverythin · 17/11/2020 07:37

School run is going to be fun today ffs

DD came out of school last Friday upset the same kid had the award for the 3rd time this term. She’s had it once since reception. I lost my temper a bit and just said “oh did they just give it to the naughty kids to make them feel better you already know how to behave” .

Which she then repeated to the other kids at school yesterday Hmm. Teacher told me after school and said she hadn’t realised this kid had had it 3 times (naughtiest kid in the class obvs).

They’re going to go home and tell their parents aren’t they?

OP posts:
MWNA · 17/11/2020 08:19

@Fifawidow

Fuk u OP!!! My kids get these awards all the time does that mean mine are super naughty!!
Hilarious over reaction!🤣
Belladonna12 · 17/11/2020 08:20

It's a difficult one as I do agree that the "naughty" kids tend to get rewarded when they have a good day in many primary schools which will seem very unfair to the other children . However, the children who achieve a lot usually get rewarded too and you have belittled that for them. It's the "in between" children who never get rewarded. One of DD's friends never got anything throughout primary school because (as DD said) she wasn't really good at anything or particularly well behaved but on the other hand she wasn't really bad either. She annoyed the teachers a bit but not enough to be rewarded when she had a day off being annoying.

CorianderBlues · 17/11/2020 08:21

@NailsNeedDoing

Well, it does happen so you’re only telling your dd the truth.

Just because it happens sometimes though, doesn’t mean those children that deserve an award never get one. They will if they deserve it, but if it’s a weekly award and one child has had it three times this term, then something is going wrong because unless it’s a tiny class there hasn’t been enough weeks for every child to have a turn yet. The teacher should have a better system of keeping track of who’s had the award to avoid children feeling like they’re overlooked.

No, she's telling DD her version of the truth.

She's heard a report from DD, and made the rest up in her mind.

"Naughtiest kid in the class" in the OP. According to who? The teacher, who sees them for 6 hours every day? Or people that aren't there, the gossipy mums, who's kids are sooooo perfect?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education Primary education
Caroncarona · 17/11/2020 08:21

I wouldn't apologize op. It is true. And those who think otherwise are deluded (with naughty kids). It's so frustrating for the largely ignored, just get on with it, middle kids.

MrsMiaWallis · 17/11/2020 08:22

Jealousy makes us do silly things! In 5 or 6 years time you'll cringe that this was even on your radar.

BangersAndMush · 17/11/2020 08:23

No, you shouldn't have said it, but so what? I shouted "Jesus fucking Christ!" in front of DD this morning because a dog ran into the road and I almost hit it. She keeps repeating it to everyone we see, and telling them that mummy said it...

Sometimes we say the wrong thing. We are human. It happens. If another parent approaches you about it just smile and nod and then change the subject. Anyone actually confronting you about this has clearly got far too much time on their hands and isn't worth arguing with. Most parents will raise an eyebrow and then move on with their lives.

IhateBoswell · 17/11/2020 08:24

Or people that aren't there, the gossipy mums, who's kids are sooooo perfect?

Or a child tells their parent that a child in class is persistently naughty, and the parent sees the teacher regularly talking to naughty child’s parent at home time? Not hard to work out who the naughty little sods are.

Sargass0 · 17/11/2020 08:25

That'll be fun when your DD gets the award every week for the next term. How will you explain to her it must be because she's been really really naughty to get so many. (Its what I'd be going if I was the teacher)

Genevieva · 17/11/2020 08:25

The kids normally work this one out sooner or later.

Nousernameforme · 17/11/2020 08:25

Our school has it right the children who find school easier all get it towards the start of term so it's been had then they seem to use it to reward effort from the more challenging ones throughout the year

JM10 · 17/11/2020 08:25

I agree some schools do this very badly. No child should win 3 times a term and no child should be completely overlooked. My children's school does a good job of doing it fairly.

We didn't have this when I was at school, but at secondary we had end of year awards. I was always aware that because I wasn't the best in any subject, the worst but trying or badly behaved but not all the time, I would never get one.

Bagamoyo1 · 17/11/2020 08:26

It’s common knowledge that the “challenging” kids tend to get more awards and praise, and it’s a bit of a minefield for parents I think. As adults we can all understand that many of these “naughty” kids will have horrible home lives, or other huge mountains to climb. We therefore understand why occasional bursts of good behaviour or effort need to be rewarded.
But kids don’t see it that way. All they see is that they work hard and behave well every day, whilst the kid who messes around all the time gets a gold star on the one day he works quietly. And that can have a demotivating effect on the previously hardworking kids.

I think it’s almost impossible for teachers to win in this situation.
However, in your case OP, this kid clearly shouldn’t have had so many awards, as proven by the fact that the teacher admitted she hadn’t realised it was the third time. I know teachers are drowning in work, but if these star systems are going to be used then they need to be done properly, and someone should keep a tally to ensure it’s fair.

Twinklestarrynight · 17/11/2020 08:26

OP I’d have said something similar Grin

MWNA · 17/11/2020 08:27

@Twinklestarrynight

OP I’d have said something similar Grin
Me too.
MrsMiaWallis · 17/11/2020 08:28

Of course the naughty children should get it. Nice well behaved MC kids will be fine (and I say that as a mother of three nice MC kids who rarely won anything).

I have no issue with naughty kids getting a bit more in the way of encouragement.

The extremely overachieving dd of the head of the PTA won everything at our primary.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 17/11/2020 08:29

I didn't need to say it, my child said it to me first.

timetest · 17/11/2020 08:29

It’s true op. My daughter and a few other children worked it out after a while. It’s a bit disheartening for the children who try their best.

Caroncarona · 17/11/2020 08:30

How will you explain to her it must be because she's been really really naughty to get so many. (Its what I'd be going if I was the teacher)

I'd tell my child that the teacher had finally come to her senses and had decided to award the kids for actually behaving themselves.

MoonJelly · 17/11/2020 08:30

Teacher told me after school and said she hadn’t realised this kid had had it 3 times

Off the point, but how on earth could any teacher not notice that she's given the award to the same kid three times within around ten weeks?

CindersCatsSister · 17/11/2020 08:31

I would have endless sympathy if you’d come on here saying ‘shit, I said this to my DD, how do I explain to her that I should t have said it/how do I make it right’. But you just seem to be after some support for your point of view.
It’s so divisive to put ideas like this into your child head. At best it’s unhelpful and at worst it’ll cause confrontation for you - however naice your area might be.
I had this the other way round, by contrast - my DD got the top dojo points every week for a bloody year which to me was really not great as she’s a bit obsessive at the best of times and I could have done with her NOT endlessly working out ways to get more points rather than enjoying school. When I asked her teacher if this wasn’t making all the other kids pissed off her teacher said ‘no! They need to see that hard work gets you where you want to be!’ So, I think with these things, you rarely get what you want or need...

Wearywithteens · 17/11/2020 08:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Whatwouldscullydo · 17/11/2020 08:32

Of course the naughty children should get it. Nice well behaved MC kids will be fine (and I say that as a mother of three nice MC kids who rarely won anything)

You have no idea whats going on with any of the children. "Nice MC kids " parents still get made redundant , get addicted, never see their kids cos they are working etc

Now who's judging..

TheVanguardSix · 17/11/2020 08:32

You can turn it around to say, 'they save the best for last'. Grin
Mine were/are always the VERY LAST kids to get those silly awards, if they even get one at all. It started with big brother (who sometimes never got one at all, all year long. But he made it to uni, not prison, so we're alright). DD continues the Invisible Child legacy, and DS2... well, bless him. He's in year two and hasn't gotten an award since Reception. It builds character... I think?

Caroncarona · 17/11/2020 08:33

My kids got completely overlooked. Apart from one term when my child was horrifically bullied by some kid in her class who was a regular award winner. That term my child got to win the prize..jointly with the bully. So yeah, that was nice Hmm

yourestandingonmyneck · 17/11/2020 08:33

@Allwhiteeverythin

I’m not standing up on the zoom call and screaming FIX when they announce Jonny has the award again for “effort”. These aren’t kids with alcoholic parents who need a crutch, they’re little sods with indulgent parents
How can you possibly know that? Just because you live in a middle class village it does not mean there are no issues at home.

This is a horrible thread; a lot of unkindness on here.

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