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Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

464 replies

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 12:29

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week Grin

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

OP posts:
WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 16:20

@peasepuddinghot

I also get the ? and the ?? but just checked and ??? was the highest he has got to so far.
Thank god it's not just me! It's madness!
OP posts:
PiperPiper20 · 16/11/2020 16:30

Send him a Grin in response to each ?

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 16/11/2020 16:33

Please just send him a picture of you and your son pissing yourself laughing, thumbs up with the caption 'which two ADULTS have four thumbs and don't give a fuck?'

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RadGlags · 16/11/2020 16:35

Ooh ooh ooh - can I give a story from the child’s perspective?!

Had recently turned 18 (was still in full time education) and went to Greece with Dad, Stepmum and half sister. We left from their million pound house and flew business class (both are high earners, but mainly my Dad). Whilst in Greece my stepmother started questioning what my mum did with the maintenance my dad paid as she thought it should be given to me for driving lessons etc. When I said that my mum used it for bills / rent / food, she uttered, the now famous line in our household, ‘it doesn’t cost £50 a week to feed someone you know, Rad’ ShockShock TWAT.

So my dad was paying £200 a month from his £100,000+ salary, they’d clearly been discussing it (otherwise why didn’t my dad jump in), they (she?) felt it was appropriate to discuss it with me.

Also half sister went to private school.

OhioOhioOhio · 16/11/2020 16:35

That actually has really cheered me up.

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 16:36

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel

Please just send him a picture of you and your son pissing yourself laughing, thumbs up with the caption 'which two ADULTS have four thumbs and don't give a fuck?'
😂 oh could you imagine!
OP posts:
WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 16:40

@RadGlags

Ooh ooh ooh - can I give a story from the child’s perspective?!

Had recently turned 18 (was still in full time education) and went to Greece with Dad, Stepmum and half sister. We left from their million pound house and flew business class (both are high earners, but mainly my Dad). Whilst in Greece my stepmother started questioning what my mum did with the maintenance my dad paid as she thought it should be given to me for driving lessons etc. When I said that my mum used it for bills / rent / food, she uttered, the now famous line in our household, ‘it doesn’t cost £50 a week to feed someone you know, Rad’ ShockShock TWAT.

So my dad was paying £200 a month from his £100,000+ salary, they’d clearly been discussing it (otherwise why didn’t my dad jump in), they (she?) felt it was appropriate to discuss it with me.

Also half sister went to private school.

Oh that's horrible!

Yeah, my exh two step sons go to private school.

His parents pay for all the children in the family to go to private school - APART from my Ds. As in ex MILs words "I don't want her getting any advantage from our money". It's not me, it's their own grandson, FFS Angry

Still, my Dh parents are bloody lovely and have never treated Ds any different from SIL children. Right from when they first met Ds they have treated him as a grandchild.

OP posts:
lepardprint · 16/11/2020 16:42

Love this 😂😂
Isn't it great that you can now just laugh at their expense?!

52andblue · 16/11/2020 16:45

I have a Wankpuffin Ex too!
In 4 years, he has given me £180 'maintenance' in total for our 2 teenage kids with SN and SEN.
(married for 16 years, I left with kids and handbag, he's still there, I am still trying to get him out).
I gave him my old car (value £500, but £500 repairs and new MOT just paid for by moi) so he could come and see kids. I'm still paying the tax on it (£25 a month) as he is 'waiting to see if his other car is worth repairing'. The one his Dad gave him. He asked me for petrol money too. He is 55... and holds down a job. I'm his 2nd wife...

What Planet are they ON ???

@LabradorGalore - my older child (just 16) has started to notice. 'Dad's always asking me to do stuff and never says thank you'. but younger dd at 13 is still v defensive of him (but always says: 'please can you pick us up before dinner as Dad's food is awful' etc)

daisycottage · 16/11/2020 16:48

Full custody of an adult 😆😆😆

sashh · 16/11/2020 16:48

OP

This has really cheered me up, may I share a fellow dickery move? My ex got the OW pregnant, then tried to deny adultery.

As the divorce was going through he tried to get me to pay maintenance for the baby he had with OW!

Someone really needs to write a sit com set in a solicitor's office dealing with wanky xhs.

ReggieCat · 16/11/2020 16:51

Oh, I do hope he's involving a social worker in all this. I'd have really enjoyed typing up his case notes when I worked for Children's Services.

coconuttyhead · 16/11/2020 16:57

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

Tell him your little boy will be happy to drive him to the solicitors office for the custody meeting Grin !
Brilliant!
Ron1984 · 16/11/2020 16:57

I second that @LabradorGalore

Crocky · 16/11/2020 17:10

@sashh I need to know how that conversation went 😱😱

ivfbabymomma1 · 16/11/2020 17:10

Brilliant 😂😂😂😂

JobRetentionScheme · 16/11/2020 17:16

I’m so jealous you only have 10 days left .... I’ve 5 years and 3 weeks to go .... yep I’m counting !

Hope you’re having you’re own little celebration on the day of your DS Birthday to say goodbye to the ex for good !

PicsInRed · 16/11/2020 17:18

My Ds is 18 next week

This may have actually made my day. 😂

TwentyViginti · 16/11/2020 17:32

[quote Crocky]@sashh I need to know how that conversation went 😱😱[/quote]
Me too! Shock

Staffy1 · 16/11/2020 17:33

Whatever made you let such a perfect specimen go?

Gosh09 · 16/11/2020 17:34

This is better than any soap and has had me in hysterics.
Thanks WankPuffins.errrrm great user name hahahahaha.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 16/11/2020 17:46

This thread has made me Shock and Grin in equal measure. My DD is 8 so I've still got 10 more years of such nonsense to go.

GabsAlot · 16/11/2020 17:54

thats so sad but obviously he gets it from his wank parents who are pusnishing their grandchild because they dont want you to benefit

how i dont know

GabsAlot · 16/11/2020 17:55

does he see his grandparents at all op

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 18:01

@GabsAlot

does he see his grandparents at all op
Rarely. Maybe once a year if he's at his dads when they are visiting.
OP posts:
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