Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

[WankPuffins]

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

Let's hope it's a very expensive solicitor

Has he forgotten his age? 🤣

Haha 😂

I was a bit gutted I didn't hear anything from the police when he reported me (as if he did, he's full of it).

I was very hormonal and stressed though so I told the midwife who was like "you know I have to log all my visits with the company? I could prove to the police it was me and that medical visits are allowed". (Then she called him a dickhead).

You do need to send back some 😂😂 at him. This is the last ten days to wind him up. Block him on ds birthday

Could you imagine the look on the solicitors face

“I want to go for full custody of my son!”
“Ok and how old is he”
“He’s 18 in 10 days”
“Sorry did you say 8 or 18?”
“18”
“.....”

I'd be mentioning it to your DS, just in case his dad doesn't get him an 18th birthday present next week! He's probably like a feckless father I know who has no idea of how old his own children are...

Seems a perfect case for a thumbs up emoji. Loser.

PS - I think I love your midwife!

Brilliant! Very funny!

Oh god
What a silly little man!

(It does depress me though just how many women have a tale like this to tell, the number of men who have found a way to make the pandemic another stick to try and beat their ex partners with is insane)

Your midwife sounds fab

Brilliant what a tool!!

I have a similar dickhead ex and it was so liberating when I could finally just laugh at him instead of getting wound up - glad you can do the same.

13 years of the dickhead? You deserve a medal. If only these men could be tagged so others could avoid.

Congratulations on your new baby as well.

Brilliant OP.

I remember one Friday afternoon having a new client appointment booked in at 4pm. Notes said re residence order, unable to attend during usual appointment hours.

I didn't usually see people Friday afternoons, especially at the end of a duty week. I had been called out every night and wanted to get home ASAP.

He arrived 3.30pm, brilliant. Huge folder of papers, my heart starts to sink. Tells me he would like to apply for residence order of his 18 year old because he wasn't at the university he had gone to.

Fastest appointment ever. Think I was in the car by 3.35 and I made his day by not charging him, Made my weekthought I would be there all night.

Please tell me there’s a story behind the name Wankpuffins??

@AgreeableEagle

I'd be mentioning it to your DS, just in case his dad doesn't get him an 18th birthday present next week! He's probably like a feckless father I know who has no idea of how old his own children are...

Oooooo no no no.

There are no presents! They have to come out of the maintenance he pays me!

So he tells me what he wants to get Ds, sends me the order details and I'm supposed to get it out of the money he throws my way each month. You know, the money that I spend on gin and fags. His family don't get Ds birthday or Xmas presents either for the same reason.

I did it when Ds was little as when I didn't,exh would be emotionally abusive towards Ds and tell him he didn't get a present as mummy didn't care enough to get him what daddy wanted too.

Then Ds went through an awful stage where his dad really got to him and I thought I'd lose him, his dad told him how much money I gave him and that it was all supposed to be for him. My Dh had to sit down with Ds in the end when he was about 13 and explain that the money was for him - for his living expenses.

It's better now though. For the past four years he's asked Ds if I bought him what he wanted to get him (he actually doesn't know Ds at all, he wants him to have the things he thinks he should be interested in), Ds usually ignores the messages. As do I.

Ds was going to leave college and work for a year so he stopped paying in July. Ds decided to go back but sod it, it's great not to have his bloody money anymore.

This year he sent me a text asking what I was going to get Ds. I thought great, as he's not holding the money over me he's probably just trying to get ideas. He text back, well you've had enough of my money over the years, just tell him it's half from me.

If I didn't laugh about this shit I'd cry! Ds is so over it now.

Gosh sorry I've gone off on a tangent

Since you're in contact with him, please encourage him! Tell him feel the full force of what a twat he is.

(I don't have contact with my DC's fathers, much prefer an easy life).

Let him*

@icedaisy

Brilliant OP.

I remember one Friday afternoon having a new client appointment booked in at 4pm. Notes said re residence order, unable to attend during usual appointment hours.

I didn't usually see people Friday afternoons, especially at the end of a duty week. I had been called out every night and wanted to get home ASAP.

He arrived 3.30pm, brilliant. Huge folder of papers, my heart starts to sink. Tells me he would like to apply for residence order of his 18 year old because he wasn't at the university he had gone to.

Fastest appointment ever. Think I was in the car by 3.35 and I made his day by not charging him, Made my weekthought I would be there all night.

Oh my god! There's more than one of these idiots?

Reminds me of my dickwad ex who informed me he was suing me for every penny I had, for adultery, as he’d heard I’d been seen with another man

I pointed out that:

1. We’d been split up for four years
2. We were never married

He gave me a knowing smirk and pulled out his gotcha card.
“Ah, but we were engaged, you’d forgotten that hadn’t you”

What A Twat.

Dontforgetyourbrolly 😂😂😂😂😂

My god, your last messages !!!!! 😮

@WankPuffins it is a brilliant tangent

@justanotherneighinparadise

My god, your last messages !!!!! 😮

Mumsnet has been my savour over the years. I've posted about him lots, I'm sure I've told that gem over and over.

I remember posting not long after we split up, the day he had actually gone to a solicitor as he wanted receipts for every penny of the maintenance each month so he could be sure it was all spent on Ds.

I heard nothing more (fucking obviously!) phoned him a week later how it went and did he want them emailed or posted? He said the solicitor had told him he had no right to ask for them. He was very unhappy about that for a long time.