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Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

464 replies

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 12:29

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week Grin

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

OP posts:
WankPuffins · 27/11/2020 11:13

@SquirtleSquad

Wishing DS a very happy 18th
Thank you!

Although, imaging having your 18th birthday on a Friday.... and you can't go out or see anyone, Dh can't even take him for a pint!

Crappy year to be turning 18!

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 27/11/2020 13:52

Happy 18th to DS!! DH can owe him a pint for when the 'good times come back'.

And Happy VNMCWDHEXH Day to you!!!

*Victory! No More Contact With DickHead ExHusband Day 😆

Noshowlomo · 27/11/2020 17:26

Oh wow this thread has left me open mouthed in shock at male prickery all day!!
OP you have some patience I tell you now. What a fucking bollock your ex is. He has lost all control and now he’s trying nonsense.

I’d be tempted to say “DS thanks you for the voucher but wants to know when he’s having his 18th birthday present” what a tight little man! He will never be happy.
My friend has an ex like this, they were married for about 10 years and split it because he was a complete and utter wanker, always jobless and always getting sacked. He has given my friend nothing for many years but tells people that he keeps them out of poverty even though she’s married to someone who is earning good money and she’s training to be a teacher and will be on good money as well, but he’s been jobless for about 1.5 years. It’s laughable!!

Interested in this thread?

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RandomMess · 27/11/2020 17:41

Happy Birthday to your DS!

How is the 🎂

WankPuffins · 27/11/2020 17:45

@Noshowlomo this thread has made me feel like I'm not alone in this anymore. It's been both saddening and heartening to know it's not just me!

@RandomMess cake turned out great! It's being brought out after dinner. Just about to start a lovely evening all together, chocolate, snacks, wine, telly and lots of laughs Smile

OP posts:
WankPuffins · 27/11/2020 17:47

Not your usual 18th, but Ds is happy. Not only because he has an unlimited budget for take away tonight and is planning all the Indian sides he would like!

OP posts:
ListeningQuietly · 27/11/2020 17:49

Happy 18th to your son.

May he gorge on Pakoras and Bhajis

and may his father learn to treat him like an adult in due course

MzHz · 27/11/2020 17:52

@WankPuffins

Not your usual 18th, but Ds is happy. Not only because he has an unlimited budget for take away tonight and is planning all the Indian sides he would like!
18? Food? Indian? Unlimited budget?

Are you mad? 😂🤣

NeedToKnow101 · 27/11/2020 17:56

😂🤣😂

squashedfroggie · 27/11/2020 18:06

Happy birthday to your DS!

Noshowlomo · 27/11/2020 18:49

Sounds bloody lovely. I love Indian sides. Hope you all have the best evening x

Pebbledashery · 27/11/2020 21:54

Op I loved this thread. I am still laughing at your ex 🤣

Noddyandbiggerears · 27/11/2020 22:50

Ah your dh has probably had the most celebrated birthday on Mumsnet ever.
Congratulations to him - but also well done to you - you’ve gone through years of shite and now you are free Cake

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 27/11/2020 23:24

The good thing about receiving a shit present of a £10 Amazon voucher is that your DS never has to try hard for his Dad's birthday presents. I bet your exH is the type to think he deserves a 'good' present, but your DS can give him anything and if your ex complains he can ask 'is it better or worse than the £10 voucher you gave me for my 18th?'.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 28/11/2020 08:10

Actually BlackAmerican - I was thinking that what he should do is not spend that Amazon voucher, but "gift" it back to his loving father for Christmas . . .

LondonlovesLola · 28/11/2020 08:30

If he ever transfers money over again send it straight back with the reference ‘StopSendingMeMoney’
‘DontWantYourMoney’
‘HeresYourMoneyBack’
Or something similar.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 28/11/2020 09:21

Or who is this??????

LondonlovesLola · 28/11/2020 09:24

Yes!
‘WhoIsThis’
‘WhoSentThis’
‘WhatDoYouWant’
‘GoAway’
‘NiceTry’

List is endless! 😂

WankPuffins · 28/11/2020 09:54

😂 oh I love it

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 28/11/2020 10:21

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Actually BlackAmerican - I was thinking that what he should do is not spend that Amazon voucher, but "gift" it back to his loving father for Christmas . . .
Perfect! Grin Grin
PumpkinWitch · 28/11/2020 10:24

I am pleased your DS has had a lovely birthday. Who wouldn’t want unlimited Indian sides?

Your ex really is truly nuts. I honestly have no words but I think you can block him again. I would do a cease and desist letter because that is harassment.

Omeara · 28/11/2020 10:46

When you divorced was there a clean break order?

If not I would go for a financial settlement. Firstly, so you can laugh whilst you imagine him combusting with rage but secondly because you deserve to be paid for putting up with the dickhead for so long.

WankPuffins · 28/11/2020 11:00

@Omeara oh god our divorce was a cheap and quick as you can imagine. I didn't have a solicitor - he saw one for about an hour. I just signed some stuff. I didn't want anything but my Ds. I cared about Ds, he cared about money, the house and what people thought of him.

He said I committed adultery to get the divorce - he did but whatever, Why do I care what was written on a bit of paper that's been sat in my loft for over a decade now? We agreed between us what Maintenance he would pay (about a quarter of the minimum he should have but again, whatever), and there was no agreement in place about access as his job takes him all over the world for weeks on end so he could never have stuck to a regular pattern. I just said I'd never stop him seeing Ds when he wanted to and we agreed to meet half way when he did as I was moving away.

No financials either - he kept all the money and the house in return for not fighting me in moving Ds far away. I don't care one bit about money or possessions anyway if I'm honest.

I could have fought, taken it to court but for what end. I probably wouldn't have been able to move 'home' and would have been stuck and miserable. Some money yes, but a shitload of stress and arguing. And most of the money would have lined the pockets of solicitors anyway. Life is too short.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 28/11/2020 11:04

@WankPuffins tbf I would look if you can self rep and submit an application (with no intention of seeing it through) just to know he will explode 😂😂😂😂😂

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/11/2020 11:38

Ask him if all this contact is because you’re the one who got away and he can’t live without some contact with you.